Hamm: I'm Proud to Be of the Same Species

Written by Eric Olsen
Published August 19, 2004

Because we drag our dead asses out of bed at 6am [editor - EASTERN], it has become our custom to watch the last hour-and-a-half or so of the Olympics from bed, drifting off to dreamland between verbal ejaculations from various intemperate announcers as gymnasts twist, spin and fly, and swimmers churn.

So, after favored American gymnast Paul Hamm fell all over himself, arms flapping, legs akimbo, plopping down unceremoniously on his butt literally at the judges' feeet in a disastrous landing to his vault, earning himself a 9.137 score, we groaned and turned down the sound to barely audible and sent the 4 year-old off to her own bed for the night.

NBC gymnastics analysts Elfi Schlegel and Tim Daggett moaned and tut-tutted, stating unequivocally that Hamm was out of the running for the gold, and probably for any medal in the men's all-around. Daggett ominously conjured up the image of Hamm lying awake and febrile, rerunning the mental movie of his Waterloo night after night until cold death's blessed release - or something like that.

But Hamm didn't listen: just on the verge of sleep I heard the voices rise and opened my droopy lids to see Hamm's score of 9.837 on the penultimate event, the parallel bars, and interest piqued, remained semi-conscious through the next rotation and Hamm's spectacular high bar routine, which astonishingly yielded the exact same score of 9.837, giving him the gold by 12-thousandths of a point.

And this, my friends, is what the Olympics - and our fascination with sport in general - is all about: the magical, mysterious alloy of skill, strength, stamina, determination, and ultimately, self-mastery that makes us proud to be members of the same species.

I am in awe, Paul, thanks.

Career media professional Eric Olsen is honored to be the founder and publisher of Blogcritics.org, which, quite frankly, rules - as do his wife and four children.
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Hamm: I'm Proud to Be of the Same Species
Published: August 19, 2004
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Section: Sports
Filed Under: Video: Sports, Video: Television
Writer: Eric Olsen
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#1 — August 19, 2004 @ 11:27AM — Mark Saleski [URL]

did enjoy that last night. the high bar was electrifying.

man, this late night stuff is killin' me though...watch the broadcast, then head off to write until 2am or so...then get up at 6:30

good thing it's only two weeks 'cuz i'm too danged old to go on 4 hours of sleep for more than a coupla days.

#2 — August 19, 2004 @ 15:52PM — Eric Olsen

I'm not sure why they have it go 8-12 instead of 7-11 since it's all taped anyway

#3 — August 19, 2004 @ 15:59PM — Mark Saleski [URL]

better ad rates? i bet 8pm and on is better for them than 7.

just a guess.

#4 — August 19, 2004 @ 16:02PM — Eric Olsen

I would think 7-8 is much higher rates than 11-12, but the local stations are probably locked in to their local news and syndicated crap and whanot.

#5 — August 19, 2004 @ 16:48PM — Bruce Kratofil [URL]

Ahh, you are exhibiting Eastern-Time-Zone-centric thinking.

Even though it is not "live", they probably don't want staggered broacast times across the country -- maybe they can't even technically do so.

#6 — August 19, 2004 @ 16:59PM — Mac Diva [URL]

When someone (guess who) came to Blogcritics, one of his constant harangues against me was that I post late. Over and over again, I had to explain the concept of 'time zone.' I appreciate Eric having expounded on this profound matter. Hopefully, those of us who live on the Pacific Rim or even farther away will no longer be accused of strange behavior.

However, I believe Eric missed one of the key ingredients in the Olympics watching: wondering who uses steroids.

#7 — August 19, 2004 @ 17:13PM — Mark Saleski [URL]

oops, it never occured to me that they wouldn't want to stagger the playing times.

...you time zone pedants, you!

(they actually have stuff west of the mississippi??)

#8 — August 19, 2004 @ 17:19PM — Eric Olsen

I am actually rather acutely aware of the differences in time zones having lived almost exactly half of my life in each of the Pacific and Eastern zones, but like Mark it didn't occur to me that they wouldn't stagger it. Color me admonished.

#9 — August 19, 2004 @ 18:16PM — arne

The time zone stuff is very confusing when applied to TV networks.
Usually they do stagger the start times for Prime time: EST, CST, and PST.
They seem to ignore the other MST.
Now that a lot of people have Direct TV or Dish network the networks have changed to mostly East and West Feeds. People the middle either see it early or late from the standard start times.
On my Direct TV Dish I get (pay extra) East and West for the four major networks.
The secondary Olympic channels (USA and Bravo) seem to only be on one time zone, I think that this is why they are used for the "LIVE" broadcasts.
These "cable" channels tend to repeat broadcast schedules every 3 hours that is why Family guy is on at 9PM and Midnight etc... to cover EAST and WEST from one schedule.
Arne

#10 — August 19, 2004 @ 18:35PM — Eric Olsen

my brother's name is Arne, there aren't that many out there

#11 — August 19, 2004 @ 18:39PM — Eric Olsen

hi Arne! the Indians have gone from red hot to ice cold in the space of four games

#12 — August 19, 2004 @ 19:58PM — Mark Saleski [URL]

wasn't there a sitcom in the early 70's called "Arne"?

no wait, maybe that was "Arnie".

#13 — August 19, 2004 @ 20:00PM — Eric Olsen

yes, that was "Arnie," which is usually short for Arnold. This is "Arne," which is short for Arne and Norwegian

#14 — August 19, 2004 @ 23:57PM — RJ [URL]

"Usually they do stagger the start times for Prime time: EST, CST, and PST.
They seem to ignore the other MST."

Why is it that MST always gets left out? Just not enough people living there for the network big-wigs to be concerned about?

#15 — August 20, 2004 @ 08:42AM — Eric Olsen

and none of those hill-dwellers even watch TV

#16 — August 20, 2004 @ 13:12PM — Ryan [URL]

Eastern and Central usually aren't staggered. That's why here on the East coast, commercials always say that program X will begin at "8/7 Central."

#17 — August 20, 2004 @ 13:56PM — Phillip Winn [URL]

Ryan is correct -- there are generally two time zones for the purpose of television programming: East and West.

A show that airs at 8/7 Central will air at 8pm in the East, which is 7pm in Central -- the same exact time. Once you cross the mountains, you generally needed another signal anyway, so the Pacific feed is delayed three hours so that it also airs at 8pm.

And those poor Mountain folks are just screwed. Their shows generally air an hour earlier, like Central, which means that they're actually delay one hour behind Eastern and Central.

And sports means that the Superbowl can shift by three hours depending on where it is played!

#18 — August 20, 2004 @ 15:11PM — Eric Olsen

I like the maps that show the West Coast, then an undifferentiated void, then the East Coast

#19 — August 20, 2004 @ 15:15PM — Eric Olsen

BTW Mac, they seem to be doing a pretty good job of finding the chemical cheaters - at least they take it seriously now. Of course the creative cheaters will always be one step ahead of enforcement, but that's true of anything

#20 — August 20, 2004 @ 16:07PM — Tom Johnson [URL]

Don't forget us in Arizona, who stick to Mountain time all year round, except for the Navajo nation, who follows the fluctuating time schedule for who knows what reason. It makes catching cable shows pretty annoying - you get used to it being on at 7pm part of the year, and then the other part it moves to 6pm. Pretty annoying if you ask me!

#21 — August 21, 2004 @ 01:11AM — RJ [URL]

"And those poor Mountain folks are just screwed. Their shows generally air an hour earlier, like Central, which means that they're actually delay one hour behind Eastern and Central."

Hmm.

At 8pm EST, a show is on. CST is to the west of EST, so that same show runs at 7pm for them.

The same show is then seen in PST at 8pm for them. It is now 11pm EST, 10pm CST, and 9pm MST.

If the poor bastards in MST get the same feed as the PST folks, they are seeing the show an hour LATER, not earlier, than the PST folks.

In other words (if I am correct about this) CST folks can go to bed an hour earlier than their counterparts in the EST, but MST people must stay up an hour LATER than their PST counterparts.

Am I correct about this? Or am I missing something completely obvious here?

#22 — August 23, 2004 @ 09:52AM — Phillip Winn [URL]

RJ, yeah, mountain shows actually often air "early" like Central does. So technically that's a third feed, something I glossed over. I remember when I was younger that some of the networks -- I remember CBS certainly -- would say that a show airs at "8, 7 central and mountain," a tag with which they no longer seem to bother.

In the scenario you describe, the MST folks would see the show at 7pm MST, which is one hour later than CST and EST, but two hours earlier than PST on the other side of the mountains.

Those poor chumps on the Pacific are the ones that are really screwed, I guess.

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