If you've read the 2nd Amendment, you know Americans have a Constitutional right to keep and bear arms. However, did you know we also have a Biblical right to arm ourselves? Surprised the heck out of me too. But evidently, according to this book at least, it is a Christian's sacred duty to have a gun.

Now, without actually having bothered to read the book, I'm not sure what the author is basing his argument on. But I'd be willing to bet the contents of my spank-sock it has something to do with abortion and/or same-sex marriage. (Doesn't everything these days?) Maybe it's so you can protect your family against lesbians breaking in and aborting their IVF babies on your good china. Who knows. The point is, the last time I checked, they didn't have guns back in the Year Zero. Which means the author is reading something into the Bible that isn't actually there (shocking, I know), or he's using the new NRA version instead of the more widely accepted KJV (King James Version).

Either way, it's almost enough to make me want to rethink my staunch pro-gun, pro-2nd Amendment position. Almost. Because if I'm not mistaken, I think I hear a group of Seventh-Day Adventists trying to cut through my dining room window. So, if you'll excuse me, I have some Biblical justice to mete out. And these idiots best not bleed all over my good china like those stupid Girl Scouts last week did.