Through early morning fog I see,
Visions of the things to be,
The pains that are withheld for me,
I realize and I can see, that...

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

--

Robert Altman is the acclaimed, and some would say eccentric, director of many movies. Some I like and some I find (DIPLOMATIC MODE "ON"), um, interesting. My favourite Altman flick is M*A*S*H, which was based on a book by Richard Hooker and was spun-off into what is arguably the greatest sit-com ever.

You Seinfeld fans, just hold your tongues.

I enjoy Altman's film for many reasons. It's gritty and dark, giving a fairly accurate portrayal of just how much war is hell, albeit from the viewpoint of surgeons, not soldiers.

It's also very funny with some terrific performances. As much as I like Alan Alda in the series, I like Donald Sutherland's interpretation of Hawkeye Pierce a lot more. Sutherland's Pierce has the same dark sense of humor as Alda's Hawkeye, but it's more restrained and less campy.

There's also a great supporting cast, including Elliott Gould, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall, John Schuck, Gary Burghoff (who played the same character in the series) and Jo-Ann Pflug.

But in my opinion, the most intriguing thing about the movie has nothing to do with the story. Rather, it's about the theme song. You've probably heard "Suicide Is Painless" in some form or another, whether it's the instrumental opening to the TV series, or the full song that kicks off the movie.

It's a haunting tune with lyrics that capture the desperate and melancholy moods that a soldier in combat might be feeling. So, who wrote the song? Johnny Mandel is responsible for the music, but those words are from the brain of Mike Altman.

Why is this significant? Mike Altman is the director's son, but that's not it. What IS worth noting is the fact that the younger Altman was only 14 years-old when he wrote the lyrics.

Let's see the Hilary Duff's of today's plastic, little world top that!