That's not the real ad, this is the real ad.

I knew that the Olsen Twins famously cater to the so called " 'tween" market: (girls BETWEEN Disney and adulthood; i.e., too old for cartoons, but not yet adults).

But I didn't know that they cater to that OTHER " 'tween" market: Middle-aged straight men who are LONG " 'tween" girlfriends/appropriate-aged adult significant female companionship.

Albert: Just how did that magazine get into your shopping cart? Hmmmmm.

Uh heh heh... Steven said LONG! Uh heh heh!

The Olsentwins ruuuules.
They are just so sexy!!!!!!!!

OMG I'm looking for this so bad... Would you sell that poster to me? E-mail it if you really want to get rid of it. =) Thanks

I wish the Olsen twins would just cut to the chase, hit bottom and start doing porn. It's inevitable. Let's just get it over with.

Dave

I don't know how much more of this I can take. The girls keep me up at night, arguing over which one gets to have my child. I keep telling them that there's no reason they can't both bear me children, but that doesn't seem to satisfy them. I guess they've got some kind of sibling rivalry thing going on.

Yes there's a reason they can't both bear you children - they're so emaciated and hipless that if they tried to carry a child to term they'd snap like a wishbone.

Dave

Oh Dave, you're just jealous.

"G-d"? Jesus, I hope you're not typing that just to be cool. And having Rand as your spiritual mother doesn't count.

Dave, agree with you entirely about the emaciation unto sexlessness - other than the hair, they look like 11 year-old boys. But they are never going to "hit bottom" - they are a fucking financial empire on par with Martha Stewart, I shit you not. Between them they are billionaires - no porn unless they just feel like it

In the first place, the girls aren't THAT overly skinny. They could use a few pounds.

We're working on that. I've been trying to get them to eat a couple of burgers before I impregnate them, but you have to know how sensitive weight issues are to women in the entertainment industry. If they got the perfect size to suite ME, there'd be every little bitch gossip columnist calling them fat cows.

And you can definitely give my girls a break with this hitting bottom crap. Being a little too skinny is a long way from turning into Paris Hilton.

I know I've had to feed money into the hungry maw of their empire, since I have daughters. But they still can't act any better than porn stars.

And Al, since you're going to keep them locked in your basement, no one will know if you fatten them up a bit.

Dave

Locked in my basement? Naw, man, you've got it all wrong. It's a love thing.

Besides, they still have to get out and make us a living.

Al, clearly it's a love thang - get it right, man

Godoggo, the "G-d" formation is just a minor display of deference to the Christian community. I say enough stuff that I think needs saying that I know is going to cheese people off that I try not to be gratuitously offensive. No need to take the name of God in vain here.

And yes, Eric, me and the Olsen girls have a love thang.

I guess you misunderstood me. I was under the impression that it was only a Jewish thing, hence the Rand reference. I do it sometimes as a joke. It seems that you and I have different standards about what's offensive.

Godoggo, as a proud heathen, you'd have a hard time coming up with heresy or blasphemy that would offend ME. Consider this G-d think as one of my periodic stabs at making nice.

BTW, FWI the reason for the "G-d" formation is not to avoid saying God's name in vain, but because Orthodox Jews aren't supposed to say, or write, his name, period. In Hebrew this is avoided by omitting the vowels, which is convenient, since that's what's normally done anyway.