Onion to the rescue!
Written by Tim Russo
Published June 30, 2004
Published June 30, 2004
You can always count on The Onion to cover the big stories...REAGAN PYRAMID NEARS COMPLETION!
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- Onion to the rescue!
- Published: June 30, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Writer: Tim Russo
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shameless plug
(Mine was better.)
Shark, yours is pretty good- but the Onion are the best in the biz, and this is one of their better pieces at that.
I might would call you even with them here creatively, but I think they edge you out with the stuff about burying his servant Bush Sr with him. That was inspired.
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Yes. Finally Reagan gets an appropriate memorial.
Let's add a money quote:
"Buried with Reagan will be his finest treasures," Meese said, "including 2,500 MX intercontinental ballistic missiles, 15 stealth bombers, a golden chalice of jelly beans, and his most prized servant, former president George Bush Sr."
Bush told reporters, "It is my honor and duty to have my sinus passages ceremonially packed with sand before my still-living, pain-racked body is forever locked with my leader's within the Great Reagan's final resting place. Let us all praise Osiris."