Right now a German boy is little more than a real-life Bam-Bam, but in a few more years he'll be real competition to Arnold Schwartzenegger, who hopes to use his enormous muscles to become President of the United States, thus fulfilling Adolph Hitler's fondest fantasy.

The boy in question, unnamed in the press as yet, has twice the muscles and half the body fat of other kids his age. He's five.

He comes from a muscular family: apparently his mother has muscles where other women have errogenous zones, and his father, well, his father is all Deutschland. Which the mother denies.

Scientists became interested in the boy after he stole their lunch money. In the hope that they might one day be able to help people with muscle-wasting diseases, people such as scientists, for example, these sniveling geeks begged on their bony little knees. "Please, Ubby! Ve vill rule de vorld!"

Now their findings are published in the New England Journal of Medicine, in English, with extremely long italicized words and no pictures. How to piss off Ubberboy.

After testing the kid's DNA, the scientists found a mutation in his myostatin gene, which is the gene that controls muscle growth. Because he is unable to produce myostatin protein, the boy's muscles are simply... growing without control.

Keep an eye on this story...

Who would have thought Stan Lee, creator of The Hulk and Spiderman, would turn out to be a prophet?

Stranger things have already happened: L. Ron Hubbard prophecied Scientology.

The scientists are refusing to say whether they will produce a vast army of ubbermen now that it's a simple matter of snapping off a switch. All they're saying is they know how to do it.

There's nothing to see here! Go back to your homes!