He's bland, generic and uncontroversial, which is why he and his ilk will be the superstars of American media in the coming future.
The airwaves will be full of mindless happy chatter so you all should rejoice in that.

We're back in the 1970s again in our conservatism and taste for the derivative and banal -- I'm interested to see what the next big cultural revolution will be or if there will be one at all since punk and alternative rock is clearly dead. I'm sure I'll be too old to get it by then.

Question: If I dress well, keep myself groomed and speak proper english during the day, but dress down and change my style when I'm around my redneck friends, am I a closet metrosexual?

I was under the impression that metrosexual goes a little beyond good grooming

Damned if I know. I wonder if they are affiliated with the metro police or government?

I'll stick with hetrosexual.

Here is a good definition of metrosexual:

source: http://www.wordspy.com/words/metrosexual.asp

It is more than grooming, it's also lifestyle. A metrosexual is a man of any orientation who cares about his appearance, who is as in touch with his feminine side as his macho side, It's about perception and behavior and thinking process as much as it is about hair gel or trimming eyebrows.

The definition in that source goes into more interesting detail, if you are interested. First and foremost, a true metrosexual is someone who is not insulted by being called a metrosexual.

I'm into the appearence and grooming end. Does cooking all meals, buying flowers at least once a week for my girl and massaging her feet count toward the feminine side?

LOL....No David, you're just whipped....

Not whipped really. I just found the answer to getting what I want in bed. You gotta give flowers in the good times and tell'm how much you appreciate them. You know the long and ongoing seduction.

I'm comming out of the closet!

There's a place in my town called the METRO-PLEX. There's an indoor and outdoor music theater, a movie theater and numerous resturants and other cool shit. What better place to take my red neck friends and tell them I'm a metro-sexual. I just need some advice in convincing them that I'm still straight and only screw women.

Help Dear Abby, Dr. Ruth or anyone!

a related issue is covered in the brilliant episode of Fairly Odd Parents where Timmy is turned into a girl for a while and is told by the girl of his dreams (when he is a boy, of course) that it would be great if boys would admit to liking some girl-things because then girls could admit to liking some boy-things

"I just need some advice in convincing them that I'm still straight and only screw women."

For the love of Pete, why? Why do you care what anyone thinks, as long as you know the truth? What is the frigging shame of people suspecting -- based on stupid superficialities and stereotypes -- that you might be (gasp!) gay? If folks come to that conclusion about a well-groomed man, well, that just shows their stupidity, doesn't it? Seems to me that there are more important things to worry about than the opinions and prejudices of others, especially others who obviously lack something in the areas of intelligence and humanity. Or is it just that you harbor some iota of anti-gay sentiment or fear yourself?

Natalie chill. I was joking because of the reference that I made about the friends being "Rednecks".

I don't care what anyone thinks. When I go around these guys I get a hard time because I wear Perry Ellis and not Wrangler Jeans, but it's all in fun.

Futher I work with and have a couple of gay friends. You're too tense. I was merely making light of the whole new "Metro-Sexual" thing.

Chill? Perhaps when the world comes to its senses. In any case, since you diagnose me as being tense, you prove that you know nothing about me. So, you were just funnin'. I detected no humor there -- something must be wrong with me. Of course. Well, if that was a joke, as you claim, good for you.

Whatever. I didn't come on here to fight with anyone especially over a relatively new term "metro sexual".

Whatever, indeed. Who's fighting?

BOB said it. The Seacrest interview is clearly formulated to say whatever will please a mass audience. Welcome, lowest common denominator! Shallowness all the way. And, the sh!t sells.

Hmmm. 'David' is working the conversation around to gays and his problems with them. Which is where 'John-Z' exited not long ago.

You guys are making this about gays. I have friends, co-workers and a relative who are gay. I started by cracking on the new metro-sexual term. Nothing more or nothing less. Quit trying to create conflict.

Well, you can relax David. By definition, your comments here determine that you are not a metrosexual. Just a man that likes to groom, buy flowers and make sure everyone knows he screws women, that's all. Nothing wrong with that.

LOL @ (Steve) Boom.

Say, here is something Boom might be interested in. Click on the big photo for the story. (Don't look, 'David.' Might cause you whiplash.)

I think the problem is that David is the only one to speak up who finds his, um, contribution humorous. As if anyone cares whom he screws. Ewwww.

Spot on, BCB.

Sorry you are andry at the world but I'm happy. Just having fun.

Do something productive and quit scaring young kids and small animals.

What the hell is Jade Gold and MacDiva? I get it. Those are names that all of those ugly cross dressing transexuals use. I guess JadeDiva and Natalie are gonna go out and scare young children and small animals together.

Anyway I'm gonna be getting out of here soon and heading to Texas.

P.S. Don't scare too many children, they my trap you and drop you off at the zoo.

If you have redneck friends, you are by definition NOT a metrosexual. If you live in the South or a rural area, you are decidedly not even borderline metrosexual. The best you can hope for is getting really drunk and having a Deliverance kind of experience, but that's a whole different kind of homosexuality altogether.

Perry Ellis is not metrosexual fashion; it's aging yuppie fashion.

Don't worry about it -- you're not a pretty boy and never will be one. Here's a hint: if you're asking THIS website, you're probably not fighting off girls left and right because of your delicate highlights, high cheekbones, and latest clothes from Milan.

OK, sweetie?

Good luck.

I found the above comments very interesting, Bob A. Booey aka Chris Kent or Natalie Davis. If you click on the IP icon it gives you away. So who speaks?

I read everything carefully and none of you know what a metro sexual is. Hell the critics on VH1 and E! channel can't decide exactly what it is.

I know this it has nothing to do with your sexualality and it IS possible to have redneck friends and be called a metro sexual. Justin timberlake is from Memphis you know. I am origianlly from Alabama and I have some gay friends who are as hillbilly-redneck as they come. Does it make them less gay? My hair stylist has insisted that I'm a metro sexual, who knows!

As for Perry Ellis clothing they make much more than $1,000.00 business suits. I wear a lot of their clothing as well as Calvin Klien and others. They are no more outdated and yuppie than Armani, Calvin Klien and others. Of course Sears and the Mens Superstore where you shop only carries those 2 suits for $200.00. To you style is a new electronic gadget. Dweeb!

I'm sorry that myself and many many others (a majority) can interact and be friends with gays, African Americans as well as rednecks and not have a problem. I frequenlty set and eat dinner with them all.

The problem lies soley in a select few that feels that everyone in society should protest their cause and if you don't you hate for not protesting. It is some of you who hate more than you know. Maybe you all should do a self inventory, I have.

*sighs*

I am not BABs, I assure you, and have not a clue as to who Natalie Davis is, as I have had no conversations with her.

Chris Kent is my first and middle name, and am quite proud of it. I have never entered, posted or commented under any other name.

As for metrosexuals, I suppose the definition is rather fluid, but essentially (and this from a man who lives in urban, downtown Dallas) it is a man who takes care of his appearance, uses hair products, hand products, enjoys a good bottle of wine over a bottle of beer, is comfortable in the company of hetro or homosexuals, enjoys the opera and Metallica, dresses well, presses his clothes and could be either hetro or homosexual. It is a modern urban man with very little dirt beneath his fingernails. Since I chew mine, I suppose I am a partial metrosexual.

BABs is far more intelligent than me, though I can throw one helluva a punch....

Like I said, there's gay and there's Deliverance gay, i.e., Alabama. Justin Timberlake has never had a redneck friend in his life -- he was on the Mickey Mouse Show since he was a friggin zygote.

Yeah, I'm the one shopping at the Sears electronics department. Sure, buddy. Good luck shopping like a princess in Alabama.

Perry Ellis is decidedly down-market compared to Armani, which IS metrosexual fashion. Perry Ellis is what old men who shop at mid-level retail stores wear. Metrosexuals would more likely shop at boutiques. Also, think interior design, manicures and tanning -- if you've never paid money to tan or to have a manicure, you're not metrosexual.

And the most important distinction of all, a metrosexual can't be old like those of you proclaiming yourselves to be metrosexual. The term refers to a younger demographic than you're used to, one that doesn't listen to metallica OR opera particularly (maybe the opera's more likely, though). Think nightclubs and martinis rather than wine and opera; we're not talking about an episode of Frasier with old, effete men. Sherry, Niles?

If you have a Southern accent, you're not metrosexual and you'd be better off starting your conversations with "You know you're a redneck when ...."

That is all. BABsie, Northern dandy

I should add that I'm not entirely sure why so many people are self-proclaimed metrosexuals these days when they're so obviously not. Why is it a badge of honor? The term only gained cultural currency after Queer Eye for the Straight Guy became a hit. It's especially amusing hearing the term from homophobes. Your political rambling about minorities and their causes completely lost me, Joseph.

That is all.

I agree with 'David,' who appears to be Roger Ely, that he will be leaving. Like his previous new name, 'John-Z,' he will be escorted to the door when Philip Winn gets wind of his presence. His crudity inevitably gives him away.

I believe the easiest reading of 'metrosexual' is sophisticated man. Since sophistication is usually considered an attribute of urban dwellers, the term embraces that. Merely bathing daily does not make one a metrosexual. I'm not sure the 'sexual' part is necessary. Urbane, suave, contemporary. All good words that say pretty much the same thing.

Joseph, the IP reader is likely erring. The people you are referring to are separate, with identifiable personalities over a period of time. Natalie is a well-known gay rights activist.

Natalie Davis is my drag persona. Chris Kent is my Village People cowboy persona. How'd you know, Joseph sweetie?

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls. It's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world except for Booey, B-o-o-b-Ahhh-Booey.

(actually, MD, progressive-issues activist -- i focus on more than gay rights -- and longtime journalist, but thanks for standing up for my personhood. much appreciated!)

Gotta go scare small animals.

Is it just me or does anyone else think I've converted Natalie Davis?

That is all.

I was once a big fan of martinis and enjoy nightclubs with fickle glee. These days I avoid such hard drinks, as hangovers just suck. Showing my age? Of course. Give me a good live band or an old movie anyday. Metrosexual would be a 20-something man, and I am past those years.....There is an area of my humble burg known as "Uptown," and it is infested with Metrosexuals. They love a good tanning salon. Since I have yet to endure the blue glow of a salon, I suppose the Metrosexual tag must be left by the wayside. While I grew up in surburbia, I am terrified of growing old there. Thus, I am a Metropartner....

I think the term connotes a certain psychological acceptance of indulgence in things not considered masculine.

I appreciate your lenghty but boring comments BAB.

Perry Ellis reprsents about one tenth of what I wear. Mostly business attire, but other items as well. As for Justin Timberlake, I don't think you can speak for him. I recenlty watched a special on cable where he was in his home town, and yes it is more than possible that he has friends in his hometown who may be a little redneck.

As for "METRO-SEXUAL", I doubt the term will survive the times. As I first stated I have watched everyone from Joan Rivers to the entire panel of commentators on VH1 debate the meaning of the "new" term, and no one, not any of you or myself even know the meaning.

A lot of people speak great volumes about embracing diversity, but when the layers of those out-spoken activist are peeled away like the layers of an onion, they are the least diverse and sometimes even rotten at the core.

In a more simple pharse, FUCK the term metro sexual. Who really cares? Just be yourself!

By Bob A. Booey,
"It's especially amusing hearing the term from homophobes. Your political rambling about minorities and their causes completely lost me, Joseph".

Man you are really fucked up and would definately fall into the category of a paranoid gay activist. You have some nerve making a staement like the one above. I can't even count the times that I have heard people chant, "FAGGOT",toward me and my friends while I've been out eating or just running around with a gay friend. Never did I cowar or run, in fact I have gotten into the faces of a few of those idiots.

Write as much as you want but I will not respond any further to your stupid remarks.

Smartest thing said on this thread: "FUCK the term metro sexual. Who really cares? Just be yourself!"

Amen to that.

Eric, to be complete, "... not considered masculine BY SOME."

Question:

If a guy can give himself a blowjob, and he does, is he gay? or just lucky?

jack e. jett

No. Yes. He just doesn't get out too much.

Hmmm. What is Albert doing, now?

If a guy can give himself a blowjob, and he does, is he gay? or just lucky?

No, he is a dog.

If a guy can give himself a blowjob, and he does, is he gay? or just lucky?

Possible responses:

1) But where does he put the cigar?

2) No and lucky. He just found the world's cheapest date who will never say no.

3) That depends, is he hoping he will call himself in the morning?

Jack:

Yes, a gay, well-hung Hungarian gymnast.

Olsen's answer was funnier, but I got here late.

I have a horrible question that just came to mind: what if you were autoerotic and then you swallowed? The horror. Shut up. I know it crossed someone else's mind too. That would be 100% gay, no question.

That is all.

No. Just 100% disgusting. And yes, Eric's answer was funnier. Now, if you had said gay, well-hung, Romanian gymnast...

Thanks for the compliments!

One of the oddities and shortcomings of the Internet is that you can't hear when someone laughs at something you wrote, so you don't get that deep psychological payoff, but I sure appreciate being told something is funny. It's way better than nothing.

This topic reminds me of a girlfriend I used to have who never ACTUALLY laughed at anything, she would say "that was very funny" in a vaguely metallic voice with a faraway look in her eye. Eventually, I suspected her of being an android.

Not that written compliments on the Internet are like that, because until we start interactive audio blogging or something like that, the written compliment is the highest it gets here.

Thanks again.

Natalie, dear ... I said Hungarian because it's repetition and alliteration of the "hung" before it. I read some article about how comedians prefer certain consonant sounds over others -- "Romanian" doesn't have a funny sound to it.

"she would say "that was very funny" in a vaguely metallic voice with a faraway look in her eye."

That's funny too. Olsen's on a roll. There are definitely women like that -- I find a lot more women I date laugh at anything in order to ingratiate themselves, even when you're not making a joke. I think that sometimes women aren't the best or most objective audience for knowing whether one's being funny, particularly if one's dating them (then we already know they have poor taste, right?). Comedy requires an odd sort of detachment and I think the way women detach -- the "android" thing you mention -- is often quite different than the way men do. Of course there are probably just as many men, if not more, who are boring robots.

I realized at the time that if someone can't even be real enough to respond directly by laughing or not, then the connection wasn't deep