poignant. Thanks for sharing that with us, Ms. Tek

Tek, very sad, beautiful and sweet - thanks so much, really great job.

Thanks.

Nice piece, but your intrusiveness and desire to invade their privacy is a little odd. Just do your job.

The computer he wanted to erase probably just had a "nasty sex" folder on it. Nah, I'm just kidding. His "nasty sex" folder is probably on the new PC.

I'm not sure if that's a common thing for families to read the computer files of their deceased relatives. I'd imagine what they find probably isn't what they were looking for.

Suicide's a sad thing, no question. But her memory and the story of her life wasn't written on that hard drive.

That is all.

Excuse me Bob A. Bullshit.

Let me give you a vocabulary lesson:

Main Entry: in·tru·sive
Pronunciation: in-'trü-siv, -ziv
Function: adjective
1 a : characterized by intrusion b : intruding where one is not welcome or invited

from Merriam-Webster Online

So, if you had paid attention to reading and comprehension in grade school (which it is obvious that you did not), you would understand that I didn't read anything at all. You may find it "odd" that I wanted to save the data for them, hoping that maybe they would want it later. I find it "odd" that they didn't want to see what was on their late daughter's hard drive to perhaps understand why she killed herself or if there were any other factors in her life to make her so unhappy.

This is the first time I have had a personal experience with this but I can assure you that the vast majority of the situations that I am aware of where a family member had died, the family is all over the websites, all over the hard drives, and doing everything they can. Sometimes they make a point to keep the websites of dead members running in memorandum.

As far as "just do my job". Kiss my ass. I do my job damn well and don't need someone like you to give me advice or tell me YOUR opinion. You are the only one who thinks you are all that.

Ms. Tek,

I read this today during my lunch break and thought it was superb. Easily one of your best posts - which says a lot......

Ms. Tek, this rates as the best piece of writing I've ever seen from you. Good work.

If nobody ever read the things left behind by the deceased, then there would be no Diary of Anne Frank.

We went through mom's things after she passed away, to see what to keep and what to get rid of. We found things she wouldn't have wanted us to see. Shocking at first, but over time, it helps to fill out who she was as a person. Things like that can help to explain demeanor, behavior, personality, etc. It can help you to know the person you lost, with such a new awareness, a human being full of great traits as well as shortcomings. Such an experience brought me so much after she was gone. But of course, I'm the type of person who would want to keep something of a lost one, so the client in this was of an entirely different perspective. It's probably best if he didn't see what was on the hard drive?

(Beautifully written story, BTW.)

Very nice story, I had never considered the death of a person and what they leave behind on a PC. Nicely written, as well.

BAB, you are just plain rude.

I know this will come across as insensitive to the feeble-minded following this discussion, but I think that your response is just stupid. You were clearly intrusive and that's actually more insulting to the memory of that woman and the wishes of her father than you think.

I'll quote your own brilliant prose since you like to talk about reading comprehension. That should make it easier since there are no tricky, multi-syllabic words to get in the way.

"As I did this, [I couldn't help but to bring up *all* of the last files and emails] of this dead woman. I knew they had remained unread and untouched for these past 4 years. [I saw *all* the documents] and part of me wondered, "Perhaps [*I* should somehow keep these]... maybe he will change his mind. What if she didn't kill herself, what if it was foul play and the clues are here?""

Good instincts, Nancy Drew. Do your damn menial labor tech job and stop playing murdery mystery detective.

"Then I looked around the room again"

Look for fingerprints or any other personal items, Nancy Drew? Maybe you could have read her diary and giggled so you wouldn't be bored.

"[I looked again at the hard dive and *all* the documents and emails] and heard in my mind:"

"And for a moment, once again [I was tempted to try to transfer the data but I didn't have *my own* laptop with me]. I almost felt as though I was destroying something important and [should do something to carry on at least this digital legacy of someone's life]."

That "erase me" you heard was called professional ethics and responsibility. It's called doing your damn job, which I'm sure you do quite well beyond your questionable ethics, without prying into information your client specifically told you he wanted to get rid of. I seriously doubt he meant that you should consider taking it away on your laptop so that you could fill the void in your own dull life by playing Clue and attempting to relate your own misery to that of the poor woman the computer belonged to. It's bad enough that you unnecessarily opened every file and e-mail that hadn't been used in 4 years and looked at the stuff -- taking it away against the wishes of your client would be a serious breach of privacy. Be an adult. Stop thinking that you understand anything about human life that would allow you to explain the events of another human being's sorry life. You don't or else you'd have enough security in your own barely human life not to pry into the lives of others and delight in writing about their closet sexual perversity or their dead daughters or what have you.

I think this is a good piece and I empathize with many of your ruminations about why someone would kill themselves and how the family would cope, but your behavior and instincts were definitely out of line. I realize that there are no true boundaries of privacy on the Internet and that much of the culture among the immature and "hackers" is constant surveillance of everyone else's activity, but try and keep some distance from the lives of people you don't know, particularly if they're dealing with something so tragic. Those boundaries actually exist in normal social institutions. Just because you would have been technically clever enough to get away with copying his hard drive for your personal perusal doesn't mean it was a legitimate thought when he gave you explicit instructions to the contrary.

I'm glad you made the right choice and I appreciate your writing this, but yeah, I think computer culture makes people altogether too nosy and curious about the lives of others. Perhaps that's a moot point though, considering I'm writing this comment on a site about Blogs.

That is all (and ALL THAT).

Great post, Tek.

BAB:

She wrote about but in the end, SHE DIDN'T. That's the point.

That, and the sorrow involved in "deleting" another human being's life (or at least a part of it).

This was a great, thought-provoking post. She was tempted to do something unethical, but SHE DIDN'T.

Tha-Tha-That's all, folks.

"She wrote about"

This should be: "She THOUGHT about it"

Sorry...

Reading, viewing, and bringing up the files and e-mails was unethical. I can only imagine what other snooping went on.

Taking the files away for her own use would have been the worst possible ethical offense.

She made the right choice there, but her ethics were still questionable for even looking at the private information to begin with.

That is all.

Booey, your constant moral and intellectual oneupmanship impresses no one. You seem to live for the purpose of grasping at some sense of cheap superiority gained not intellectually by some good piece of creative writing or morally by actually doing something to help someone, but just by self-righteously proclaiming it.

You seek this title of superiority here not by positively doing something yourself, but always by pulling someone else down. Everybody else is always stupid, or racist, or whatever. But even if someone else is weak, that STILL does not imply that YOU are anything.

It's particularly unappealing that you attempt to grasp your cheap superiority by climbing over this person's intimate experience that she has generously shared with us. She had a delicate and highly emotionally charged situation, which she seems to have handled with perfect sensitivity and good judgment.

Judgment was required. OF COURSE it would occur to you to consider whether you should really actually delete all these files. What if the Dad changes his mind next week? Perhaps other friends or relatives would really like some of her old pictures or whatever.

I don't know that it would have been all that wrong to discreetly keep a copy of the files, just in case. Simply deleting them as asked was probably the right move, but I could understand if someone didn't make the same judgment. It certainly wouldn't be anything to cause me to jump up like the Church Lady and do a Superior Dance.

Thank you for sharing this story, Ms Tek. It was really well expressed. I could feel a good part of the intricacies of the emotional dynamics with you and the Dad both.

BAB.

Really, you really are a dumbass. *excuse me but when someone really doesn't know what the fuck they are talking about, and they have sunk beneath any respect because of their utter lack of intelligence due to being pigheaded, then I'll call names as I see fit."

Reading, viewing, and bringing up the files and e-mails was unethical. I can only imagine what other snooping went on.

So let me explain something you idiot.

If you take out a hard drive and place it in an external enclosure which connects to another PC by a USB port, and that other PC happens to run XP, XP will read all of the files on the new piece of data storage and then try to decide what program you wish to use to open the the files on the drive. On top of it, if a user is using windows XP HOME EDITION, the easiest way to format that drive is to then HIGHLIGHT IT (which will list the drive's contents in the active window) and then RIGHT CLICK AND FORMAT.

GOT IT, Mr. Thick (and I am not referring to your cock as your BITCH MOTHER told me about*since you like to talk about other people's girlfriend's*.

Now as to "ethic's" and saving files.

Once again, you stupid fuck, I am a GREAT MIS person. I know how end users think. More often than not, they say they have all the documents that they wanted of something like a laptop or a computer and they want me to rebuild the PC/laptop or to get rid of it. Two weeks to a month later, they come crying because they forgot to transfer over their tax files or some important email. Both for corporate and private clients I do something which ALL smart IT people do: I keep BACK UPS. I have a dedicated Hard Drive for my private clients which I transfer data over and then take that drive off the network and store their files for a up to a year in a lock box because they for the most part NEVER remember to grab everything they need.

I don't

Read the files.
Open the files.
Share the files.

They reside on this drive and my clients are well aware and have always been thankful I've had the forethought to save something they didn't think to- ESP come tax season.

Backups are the PROFESSIONAL THING TO DO.


"...delight in writing about their closet sexual perversity or their dead daughters or what have you."

Mr. Bullshit, I have worked for fortune 500 companies. The laptops you work on, the PCs that you work on at work, DO NOT BELONG TO YOU. They belong to the company. Most companies have some sort of electronic policy. None that I know of encourage nor allow you to store pornography on the company's equipment. On top of it, I am a network administrator/sys analyst, it is my JOB to look into your PC and your network folders when there is a problem or if you complain to me that you "computer isn't working". Storing folders called "NASTY SEX" on a company PC is a no-no, and very idiotic. I have every right to laugh at that. As far as my personal clients, same thing goes. I go to fix. If you are downloading every porn program on the next, you are bound to catch something nasty. Personally, I don't give a shit about porn. I have no problem with porn, but I do believe that work is for work, and home is for home, and if your porn is causing your equipment (and sometimes MY equipment) to work poorly then you better believe I am going to address that issue.

Finally, most companies make their IT staff sign forms of confidentiality. IT is the only department in most firms depending on your job functions that sees EVERYTHING. IT staff can be sued for relating companies secrets. I carry that into my private endeavors as well.

Oh, and what I do is no "menial" job. If it were, I wouldn't get called out nor make the money I do for what I do. I have no doubts I could run rings around whatever you would attempt. Seems to me that some "hacker/nerd" must have one upped you as some point in time in your life (not that would be hard as you have displayed the mental capacity that even a maggot would pity you).


You are one of those people who are too stupid to comprehend what you are reading, or just like to make up shit about people. Never in what I wrote did I imply that I look through files at my leisure. Even the Blogcritics on here who don't even LIKE me are sticking up for me because I may be many things, but I don't think I come off as someone who "snoops" for fun. I'm too busy bitching about George Bush or stupid Americans, or riding my bike or getting drunk to find looking on someone's hard drive on off hours any fun. Yeah, maybe that comes from having a world of experience. Whatever is on the hard drive I more than likely have seen or done before. However, as I said, I'm good and usually, I keep backups for my clients. I esp find it odd as that he never looked onto the hard drive and we were just dumping something that he never looked at. Still because of the situation, I erased the drive. I even offered to magnetize it but he just wanted to be able to give the PC to someone else.

I can't begin to understand what happened there, what the story is. As I said, if he wanted to share, I think he would have. I could feel the pain there- anyone with a heart even as cold as mine would. I'm not a cruel person for no reason. I like this man, and I felt bad. I wanted to help. My instinct is to save data for a bit of time, just in case- NOT to look at data.

I am still not too sure that I did the right thing. I still somewhat regret that I didn't put the contents of that drive on my backup drive. At the same time, he obviously wanted her memories and presence out of the house so I complied.

And ANYONE who WOULDN'T look around the room after hearing something like that is the FREAK. Its not "Nancy Drew". You wonder what the person looks like and if they had a picture. When you find that they have no pictures of a daughter then that does seem a bit odd.

And now I have spent far too much time trying to explain life to a twit. Insult me all you like. You are only making yourself look more stupid than you already do in this case. From this point on, you are yammering to yourself as that you are no longer worth my time. Please continue typing with your brow ridges. It is ever so amusing to the rest of us.

and now, as you put it:

THAT IS ALL,YOU STUPID TROGLODYTE.

Fat chicks talk too much. Apparently, they don't understand punctuation either.

Fine, you claim you didn't look at that stuff or anything else you save on your own computer. I have a hard time believing that someone so immature that they wonder about "foul play" would have that kind of restraint, but I'll take you at your word.

You did do the right thing in respecting your client's wishes. Good job.

Sorry, I don't know nerds like you and I don't understand half the things you said, but thanks for projecting. You are a tech, which isn't an altogether bad job, but don't get carried away with yourself there because you get to look at BIG CORPORATE SECRETS on your temp day-pass. Good job on your success.

Try telling your clients that you are going to save their files on your own computer before you do it. Doing it without their knowledge probably more than violates those confidentiality agreements you sign. Just a suggestion.

I'm not sure why you're so insecure that a discussion about ethics bothers you so much. I think this is a good discussion to have regardless of what your field is and I would have brought it up regardless of who said it. I had a similar discussion on the difference between what's expected of journalists and bloggers but you didn't seem to get all worked up over that one.

Calm down and go ride your bike or something. Maybe you'll find a mystery along the way, Nancy Drew. Don't forget your retard helmet. And don't ever think about my mom or my penis again, thanks. Whose girlfriend did I talk about? I'm sure your girlfriend is very butch and handsome, but I didn't bring her up. Stop being so paranoid.

Al Barger: You could teach me a thing or two about moral grandstanding. I don't aim for "superiority" here. If you want to get into some sort of good works comparison, I'm not sure how that would happen on a silly website, but I'll guarantee that I do more to help those on the margins of society than you do sitting at home writing your race-baiting "comments" about Rosa Parks with your pants around your ankles. I hate to break it to you, but people ARE NOT measured by how saintly they are in their internet "writing." Get out more and minorities won't scare you so much. Trust me -- we're not that bad. I didn't claim I was anything to you; I'm nothing and you're less than nothing. In fact, I rather prefer it that way. Those of you who attack me presonally fail to realize that you attribute qualities to me that I simply don't possess. You think too highly of me to even call me superior. I'm not an intellectual (anyone who's read me go on about American Idol can attest to that), but neither are any of you. Accept it and have fun with your lives (or what's left of them). Stop being frustrated with comparing yourself to everyone else and this "oneupsmanship" crap.

I think this has gotten a little too negative and defensive, so I think that's it for me on this discussion.

Mr. Thick Out!

Fat? Are you saying I am fat?

You silly, silly, silly, child. ;)

You are so out of your league, it is almost painful to watch except for the fact that I love watching people I can't stand make fools of themselves. That always makes for great entertainment.

Sorry, I don't know nerds like you and I don't understand half the things you said...

Well of course, that is because you are a moron and not because I am a 'nerd'. That that I mind being called a "nerd or geek". I'm smart and good looking so why would someone like me be insulted if I am called a nerd? No one calls stupid people nerds except- people who really ARE stupid...and last I checked, intelligence was a positive quality. Who could expect you to understand? You ARE stupid. As I said before, you are waaaaay out of your league.

Try telling your clients that you are going to save their files on your own computer before you do it. Doing it without their knowledge probably more than violates those confidentiality agreements you sign. Just a suggestion.

Ah, dumbfuck... who is projecting now? (Don't try to use 'psycho-lingo' if you don't understand it. I also have a degree in psychology so best you not go there either... no need for you to prove your ignorance on any more levels. I'm no expert in psychology but having a BA does meant that at least I understand what the term "projecting" means, and am not just repeating some Dr. Phil episode. I already believe that you are a dipshit. No need to try to impress me further with attempting to use terms that you have no understanding of.) Did I ever say I that my clients don't know about it? Even more of a clue to your lack of logic- If my clients didn't know that I have it, how the hell would they know to ask me for lost files?

I had a similar discussion on the difference between what's expected of journalists and bloggers but you didn't seem to get all worked up over that one.

Silly rabbit... I don't read your kak in other threads... I just skim over your comments as that you don't impress me. However, in this case you are commenting on on of my pieces so I cannot help but to read it as that they are emailed to me. Sorry, but why would I read what you have to say in other threads when I really don't care about you beyond what is forced in my face? You are irrelevant in the grand scheme of the world because you have yet to offer anything constructive or "real". You are starring in your own personal soap opera. Who cares?

Yes, you are a mental midget. You should probably crawl back into the slime pool that you slithered from. Not that they noticed a drop in the intelligence level of the pond when you squirmed out.

Finally, you proved my point about men who can't deal with an intelligent woman who won't take their bullshit. Men always resort to talking about a woman's sex life when they can't really say anything. She becomes a "bitch, slut, whore, dyke" because a man just can't deal with a woman who can give better than she gets.

Go back to your "bitches". When you grow up, maybe I'll let you join us at the adult table. Until then, keep going- we all need a little comedy in our life and you make for great material.

Tek, just ignore the troll. He's barely skirting the comment policy line, and I'm sure he knows it. Everybody reading this thread can see that he's everything you say.

And nice piece, btw.

Thanks Phillip. I am from now on. I'm betting Mr. Booey isn't going to last much longer.

This is silly. Look at the progression of this discussion. I raised a legitimate ethical question and this silly person goes bananas and throws out a bunch of attacks. I thought better of responding, but I did (in turn), and I get more. I've made a conscious decision not to respond again because I find the whole thing too negative.

I'M barely skirting the comment policy? There are a few commenters on here who have nothing to say but negative personal comments, Tek among them. Perhaps I could do a better job of turning the other cheek, but at least I occasionally offer substantive discussion that gets lost amidst the nonsense on this site. Do a search of Tek's posts or those of several others and see if they've actually said anything productive on any topic. If you all want this to be your little social club, go for it, but drop the pseudo-intellectual veneer. Yeah, I don't kiss up and try to make friends and I haven't been "part of the community" for years and years. Whether or not you agree with my views or like my tone, I offer perspectives and research no one else does and engage some of these issues more than anyone else does. But go censorship. I'm not so gung-ho about reading a bunch of reactionary right-wing rants and shallow observations about popular culture that I'm going to hang on to hear thinly veiled threats or personal drama I don't even understand.

I find some of your topics interesting, I think some of you have very good things to say, a few of you are funny. But I don't think there's any real dialogue going on here because certain people are too closed-minded and hostile. Lighten up and learn to listen.

Thanks, Phillip, for taking such an informed, broad view of things and being so impartial. Go censorship.

I knew I'd get this reaction because this topic had the schmaltzy, somber tone, but the fact remains that I asked a legitimate question about privacy and I'd do it every time regardless of anyone's field.

Tek: don't you worry. If I'm gone from your little "happy talk" universe it won't be because I'm asked to leave. I come on here sporadically and don't really have the time to keep up with the nonsensical, overly emotional, irrational responses some people offer. Offer your snarky, ad hominem comment right about now and show us what decorum you have.

For what it's worth, I've already said I grow tired of people's little insult contests and personal issues. I'm not your therapist, so I'm likely not going to respond to absurd, negative comments anymore. It's funny, but apparently some people don't have a sense of humor.

That is all.

Let me add:

If any of you feel such an overwhelming need to censor me, please do.

It's not as important to me as it is to you, apparently. I welcome it if it makes you feel more comfortable with the political and social climate of the site.

Edit what I write, don't allow what I write, ask me not to write. The most important part of any community's values are the things it excludes (for all the good and bad that implies). I actually think it'd be important for defining your "online community" to know which ideas and groups you exclude. I welcome my exclusion if it means you understand yourselves better and helps the "community" mature. My ability to speak isn't as important to me in this case as your ability to shut out speech is, because that says more than anything I could ever say.

Thanks.

Do a search of Tek's posts or those of several others and see if they've actually said anything productive on any topic.

Hmmmmmm......If memory serves I've heard this stated about someone else before......Interesting. I had my suspicions. There's only one person I know who discusses past posts by people in such a way.

Anyway, I have always enjoyed Ms. Tek's work and think she has offered quite a bit to this site. I always read her work and am always interested by what she has to say. It's honest, which is more than I can say for BABs.

Chris,

Stop with the paranoid comparisons to anyone you know. I'm not one of your friends or enemies. Why must everything be so personal?

How am I dishonest exactly?

And let's cut right to it: do you support censoring my views? I ask that same question to the few of you who so desperately want to make "enemies." I'm not interested in such a silly thing.

Thanks, Chris.

I rarely support censorship.

But I don't like being called "creepy" either....

Actually Chris... I was wondering the same thing too. If Mr. Bullshit might be a "dual". He seems very familiar in some aspects in his style and presentation...

Or maybe he's just common.

*shrugs*

Ms. Tek,

Who's to know in this crazy land of BC?!

"Let's not forget the lovely Heather Graham flick Night of the Boogies for some truly yummy camera "angles.""

You're right. I should not have the right to comment on how "creepy" that comment was. The speech that we exclude is even more important than the speech we allow. I should have demanded that you not be allowed to make uncomfortably lecherous comments just as you should demand that I not be allowed to address them in a way that makes you unhappy. You've convinced me.

The people we dislike and disagree with must be "duals" -- let's hunt them down, Blade Runner style, whatever they are and that means. Just because you're paranoid don't mean they're not after you. Of course.

I demand immediate correction to restore our community values and I admire your courage in your principles, Chris Kent. Your caveat to your open-mindedness makes it all the more persuasive and proves it's not arbitrary in the least based on your personal dislikes. Bravo. Who else is courageous like Chris Kent (a liberal, mind you, who has stood up so proudly)? Our culture is moving toward censorship and I don't see why BlogCritics should lag behind the times if we think of ourselves as so forward-thinking. Please speak up now before we lose this opportunity. Let us protect "this crazy land of the BC."

I thank you.

Erase me.

??????

BABs,

Comment was in a thread from an entirely different post related to an article by The Duke. It was "guy talk" with The Duke. It may have been sexist and insulting to some, but it was keeping in spirit of the post. One of the beauties of BC is we can mention things or discuss things or write things in a risque manner. It may not always be politically correct or suitable for a PTA presentation. But at least we are allowed to create and comment in a relatively free manner. The only policing I see is from visitors to the site......As for additional comments, thanks, though this is a thread about the fine work of Ms. Tek.

Bob A. Booey: I raised a legitimate ethical question and this silly person goes bananas and throws out a bunch of attacks.

No. She raised a legitimate ethical question and described how she agonized over it. You dogmatically chose one answer to the question and tried to beat her over the head with it.