Thank you.. finally someone making sense of this whole boob mess. I am a lover of the female form and I hope this does not come off as a stupid man talking... but I am tired of it already. I personally like all the different sizes and shapes and maybe the little imperfections that make all of us unique. And, to be honest I think that objectifing women has hit a new Low and High at the same time. I can not remember when woman have been portrayed as having such self-empowerment... but show it by just being sexual objects. How many movies are of just "OK" actresses being half naked and being paid A-list money. Or singers being just a rack and ass in a tight top asking for a thug to give her some. All this has empowered the people who prey on these women and girls who think being a notch away from a stripper is power over men...
Damn... that was some rant.

Boy, you are such a misogynist. All that BS about "breasts not mattering" and you end in the most pandering attempt to get boob pictures ever. Don't even try and call it irony. You're just hard up. All of the women who read this crap should be offended.

Here's what you should have said:

Dorky guys place too much importance on boobs. Short, squat girls have big tits. Fat girls have big, saggy tits. Tall, thin girls -- the supermodels you drool over when that Victoria's Secret catalog comes in the mail -- barely have boobs. The size of the boobs isn't really as important as what they look like. Anything bigger than a D is disgusting; a B is good; a C is perfect. Fake tits can be great or look awful.

Men who fixate on breasts have some sort of Oedipal thing going on. French intellectuals in the 1950s commented that America's massive consumption of cow milk well into maturity and sexual fixation on large-breasted women reflected an infantilism at work. There's been a lot said about perpetual childhood and adolescence in our culture beyond a psychoanalytic interpretation of our sexuality, but I'm sure many of the fetishes you old guys like probably fit in that category.

Boobs don't weigh 60 pounds. Feel a girl up for once. Women aren't such a mystery. You write about women and sexuality from such a distance and with such odd conjecture, fantasy, and fear. No one goes to therapy about their small breasts; discuss that statement with your own therapist when you next discuss your Oedipal obsessions.

"A nipple, strategically placed, is all that's needed for a bonafide breast."

Show us your man boobs then, Pops.

That is all.

Small-breasted women don't have to worry about sagging, because they won't. Well, they might, but it's an improvement, because, finally, deep in their fifties, they don't look so adolescent.

Unfortunately, small breasts do sag before a woman reaches her fifties, and trust me, it's not an improvement. I love my children, but they took my damn near perfect perky breasts and all but killed them.

There will be no jpgs of my flappers. Sorry.

Now, Booey, go buy yourself a sense of humor.

BITCH HAS WORD!!!

Aw, don't blame the kids, and don't be too sure. Beauty really is from within, like confidence and love and almost all of the rest of our organs.

I'd like to do a book of imperfect breasts. Just the breasts. So it's anonymous (or nearly).

Then I would sign it and mail it to Bobbalouie the Blowfish who thinks he anonymous.

Speaking of Boobie, I have to respond. No, no, I must.

C

Your comments about your lil porno book project are creepy ... just creepy.

Save the vague threats about stalking. Have some maturity at your age.

I don't know why you people take everything so personally. If I find your writing off-putting, I'll say so. There are certain topics like sex that certain people (most people) shouldn't write about.

That is all.

Dear Boo Boo,

Owie!

"Folksy?"

Well, OK, man, but it's spelled f-o-x-y.

That is some truly funny stuff you wrote at me. Thank you very much. I'm not elderly. I am married. And my writing is much more painful to write than it is to read, but then I've been reading for an awful long time.

The other error you made was thinking you understand women. But that's your humor.

Boo, real men aren't interested in girls except to look at. Most girls are dumb by choice under the misguided notion that it's a turn on. The brain is the real sex organ, and all "my women" have had good ones. Btw, boys, such as yourself, are just as dumb as girls. I don't mean to take sides. It's why you're attracted to each other.

It's interesting that you picked me for pouncing, a BC you don't know. I'm always curious when I'm intensely disliked by someone whose assessment of me seems unfamiliar. I simply haven't heard the kind of awful things you've said about me. Yet. But I do enjoy the attention. Even from a pussy that throws insults from behind an alias.

I think you're just jealous because you haven't gotten a verse.

Some criticism sticks and becomes indelible
prevents me from writing and makes me unsellable
But brother there's some shit that even I will not eat
and that is the shit I consider
inoedipal

And Roland? You were rollin!

"I don't know why you people take everything so personally. If I find your writing off-putting, I'll say so. There are certain topics like sex that certain people (most people) shouldn't write about."

Oh, Bob, don't be that way! You can't go from porn star to a prom king in the span of a post.

Why get offended? I'm just shooting back. I don't mean to be off-putting but on-putting. See? All in fun. Fun is what is had on Blogcritics, where serious writers post, then practice swordplay in comments. Unkind cuts are often the product of run-on emotions. No biggie.

So, criticize away, Bob. And I may do the same, but not likely. The one thing I would suggest is to lose the sign-off "That is all."

It's off-putting. It's something my father used to say. It's a telltale sign of narcissism. And it's never "all." Try verse.


That is all.

i am the last person you would think might have a commment on this..but i do.

i did an interview with terri weigel. a former playboy centerfold and porn star. she took her top off for me and had the largest perkiest breast. they had scars around the nipple area that were visable. i kept thinking that they might be able to be used for flotation devices.
they looked as if they might explode.
my partner (male) had never seen breast and she allowed him to feel them. he is now taken with the entire female breast movement and taken to watching straight porn.

what's a homo to do?

jack

You had me at the tit-le.

The rest of the post was pretty darn funny, too (except the last paragraph - kind dopey). Commentators need to get a sense of humor.

iI's true that women hardly ever seem to like their boobs. That's why men must overcompensate. It's a service we suffer to provide.

:)

Seriously, there is such a thing as boobs that ARE too big. It depends on the form of the rest of the body.

Boobs are like Fabrege Eggs. Pretty to look at but have a pair in the house and you'll soon find youself having to change the decor to match.

"Men are prone to love them all; women just the opposite. I've never met a woman who loved her own breasts, who wasn't dissatisfied with them, embarrassed by them, hurt, angry or abused by them"

I have. I work with one. She mentions her cannons about every sixth sentence.

"If a woman is small, she wants to be large. If a woman is large, she want to be larger."

The first part is true. The second isn't always.

I dated a gal once who had a breast REDUCTION. God knows why. She lost her best asset, spent a good wad of cash, and received disturbing scars in return.

Not a wise investment...

"The hard, cold fact is that breast augmentation makes hard, cold breasts."

And...is there something inherently bad about cold, hard breasts (that happen to be fucking huge)?

"I think that objectifing women has hit a new Low and High at the same time. I can not remember when woman have been portrayed as having such self-empowerment... but show it by just being sexual objects. How many movies are of just "OK" actresses being half naked and being paid A-list money. Or singers being just a rack and ass in a tight top asking for a thug to give her some. All this has empowered the people who prey on these women and girls who think being a notch away from a stripper is power over men..."

I agree 100%. VERY well said.

CW,

I don't "intensely dislike" you or anyone else who comments on this site. I find your writing in particular remarkably bizarre and pathological, not to mention disingenuous in almost every regard. I don't know if that makes what I say "awful things" to you. I'm not "picking on you" and the only reason you get any attention is because you are such a notably strange writer. I don't know who you are nor do I care. Apparently, people think you're kidding in all that madness, though.

"The brain is the real sex organ, and all "my women" have had good ones."

Note the past tense. Did you fry up those brains, Dahmer? I'm not really sure what you mean by "good" in this context. And "ALL your women" doesn't include people you've locked in your basement against their will. Your wife and her Stockholm syndrome don't count, the poor woman. She's a saint, I'm sure.

People who say "the brain is the real sex organ" don't know how to fuck.

Most people are dumb, so I don't know why you single out "girls" other than misogyny. I guess "women" is your code to distinguish old, fat broads who will listen to your endless chatter. But then I'm the one who doesn't know anything about women because I don't write about them as if they're alien beings who just landed as you do.

I don't object to you commenting on issues you might know something about, like a boring novel you just read. Maybe you'll have something interesting to say. If you do, I'll probably appreciate it and say so. I don't think you should write about sex, though, however cathartic it might be for you and however much you may want to scam boob pictures of old chicks.

I repeat: Show us your man boobs and set a good example, Pops.

Jack: take some hormones. You can get man boobs like CW and make your man happy. I'd think gay men would be immune to a bad pornstar boob job, though. Apparently not so with Faberge eggs.

BHW: no one wants to see your saggy fried eggs, not even someone as hard-up as CW.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

That is all.

On a more serious note, I wanted to add how funny it is that one of the Amazon links is to an obscure academic mathematics book on model theory of groups. Not the right kind of modeling, but I think it's great that there's a guy named "Tits Buildings." He should open up a strip club.

That is all.

BAB:

I know you're anonymous, and endlessly insulting, but you're fucking funny.

Carry on...

BHW: no one wants to see your saggy fried eggs, not even someone as hard-up as CW.

Actually, my husband still loves to see them. That's because he's a gen-u-ine adult man and not a boy pretending to be a man, hiding behind his computer keyboard.

[And the irony of YOU calling CW a misogynist. You slay me.]

jack e. jett:

What a mind-blowing scene!!! Is it on tape?

That's more more than a topic, it's a show. Try the Breast! It's two shows; an endless show, a stream of curious men and sacrificial ladies. It would be the most exciting, the funniest, most original show since... Milton Berle. OK, overstatement never hurts. The most watched since A Simple Life.

Jack, I'm going to tell something that's very true, and it will hit you suddenly as so true that you will never recover your lifelong belief that the female breast has something to do with heterosexual sex. It does.

But not exclusively. Every human who ever suckled has always desired at least an occasional visitation to the holy nipple, male and female, gay and straight, young and old, to paw and to suck, paw and suck, pawsuck.psk.psk.psk. It's not about sex, but it is, but it's not. It's...

Jack, you know the female breast is beautiful, and of course you want to touch it, whatever it's made out of, and why shouldn't you?

Not a reason can I think of, O Canadian, whose air from where your show is beamed is cool about such topics.

All men and women should feel a female breast frequently, or at least be able to keep a few around the house.

Where are the women in this? I hate to say they're hogging em all, but it's basically true. On demand real time breasts should be available to all at a reasonable cost, fully funded by taxes that pauperize selected rogue corporations.

I'd say you'd make the perfect host but I've never seen The Jack E. Jett Show. If you build it, they will watch. And if you promise some quirky celebrity cameos such as Paul Reubens, who isn't gay, but let's say he likes to feel tits. He's in. See?

Then you get your video streaming all over the Web, followed by a disappointing meeting with the Pope, followed by NBC with an offer, turned down for FOX, and why?

Why, Jack E., why?

Why because of me, of course. Because was there, don't you remember? I was in the room!

Curt

OK, Jack, this is not about conversion. It's already overcrowded. I'm talking about the next thing. An overnight industry. And, how you say, non-threatening? An endless stream of willing women and silly men watched by people in every corner of the world.

OK, it's dumb, and the "corner of the world" thing, what's it mean?

Apparently, this thread hit a nerve?

Blogging should be whatever you want to talk about. If somebody wants to talk about boobs, then it's a free country, only boob experts should have a right to speak?

What gives, Bob? We made fun of penises on the Penis and Vagina thread. Now it's the boobs turn. (should I delete that sentence?)

And besides, Fabrege Eggs don't look right surrounded by corkboard.

"I repeat: Show us your man boobs and set a good example, Pops."

OK. True fact. I was featured in a three-page photospread in Playboy Magazine, August 1975, that showed my work as a "disguise artist" through the hilarious lens of photographer Ross Hamilton (who is now photo editor with The Oregonian). We met with Arthur Paul, lesser God behind the "look" of the magazine. We saw bunnies. And big dollars. The beginning of what turned out to be a very short road for me. Well, the whole disguise industry was down back then.


Anyway my point. Man tits. You wanted, you got. There's me, slapped all over the third page, naked as a j-bird. A girl j-bird. They were foam, of course. I was big into foam. It was a real craft that I sucked at, but Ross could shoot anything and make it funny. The complete book was never published but we had fun trying to get it published, barging through doors -- we barged in on Gordon Lish, and he loved the hell out of it! Loved the work, wanted it bad, could not get over the Playboy thing, threw our ass out.

It's all true. Why would I make it up? I have one copy that somebody mailed to me recently. I don't have a scanner. No jpgs. Maybe it can be found in an attic, or under your brother's rug. It turns up.

I'm not proud of it. Not ashamed of it either. You made a demand, I caved.

Look, Bob, I remember testosterone and I know its effects up and down the scale. It's a wonderful/terrible thing that gradually gets better as it goes away. In the meantime, read some books on manners. Seriously! Because you say deliberately hurtful things to people that endear you to RJ who also hates me -- WA WA -- I can hear him denying it -- HATES my ass, and why?

I don't think he actually hates me. You see... I'm kidding, Bob.

God, I didn't want to have to say that.

But I'm also nuts, crazy, illogical. I'm a catastrophe in typing, worthless as the paper I'm not even written on, I'm landfill, filler, just another do-it-for-free hack overcome with a love of "the craft."

So what are you doing here if you don't like reading about tits?

Second thought, never mind. It's time for bed. With my wife, thank you very much, and a few six-titted friends.

On behalf of Jesus and NOW, I want to say that I am Deeply Offended by breasts- big ones, little ones, tight or loose and floppy ones. Especially Janet's.

Oh, and one more thing. We're not all who we appear to be around here, and that's just the way we like it. Shark, for example, he's not. dirtgrain, no way. Some of us, lots, in fact, are young and even good looking, even sexy, lots of blogcritics, because that's the way we likes em, see? Look at Al Barger, look at David Flannagan if you want man tits. They call him The Flanflan Man. Eric the Read I hear is buff. OK, my wife is really pissed because I'm typing on tits on the bedroom computer. She wants to know why I keep writing to a guy that hates me. Now she goes and accuses me of trying to get him to like me! What do I care whether he likes me? I'm in bed now with the laptop turned low. Sophie's left hind leg just punched the kjkkj keypad. I can't see the letters. I have to see the letters.

I'm no good, Andy. I'm just no good.

CW,

I don't understand your writing because you say many, many odd things. But I don't think you're worthless or "no good," for what it's worth. You've gradually humanized yourself in your own weird way and I accept that.

RJ Elliott is a right-wing goon who makes countless stupid comments. But the man knows funny :) Al Barger is an unfunny right-wing goon who's old with man boobs.

I dispute the hotness of said BlogCritics, but that's only because I prefer to believe that all good writers are nerds. Since I, of course, am not a good writer.

Tell your wife that I don't dislike you and that she shouldn't call me when my girlfriend is home. Just kidding.

See? Not hurtful. I kid.

BHW: how am I hiding any more than you are? We write on a dumb internet site. I don't really get this whole thing about people knowing each other and being friends on the Internet. And I'm not a misogynist, I just have high standards (and no manners). I respect women in general, regardless of whether I respect you.

That is all.

Booey: "...Boy, you are such a misogynist. All that BS about "breasts not mattering" and you end in the most pandering attempt to get boob pictures ever. Don't even try and call it irony. You're just hard up. All of the women who read this crap should be offended."

Booey, you've set a new indoor record with me:

you've gone from "brilliant" to "incredibly fucking tiresome" in the course of about 10 days.

No shit. You sound like you just discovered both the internet and your incredibly large post-modern analytic bipedal fucking grad-student brain.

And I know you won't believe this, but you come across as more desperate for an audience than all of us put together.

"That is all" --- Yeah, we should be so fucking lucky.

"...misogynist"?

Is that what you're studying this week in summer school? "post-feminist misogyny in the literature of the depraved"?? Did you stay up all night in the dorm going over that one with some other humorless faux intellectuals from your fraternity?

Flaccid insult from a dipshit who wouldn't know creativity if it bit him on the ass (which has been happening consistently in this thread): "Show us your man boobs then, Pops."

How 'bout: "Show us your boy-brains, punk."

Feh. This pendantic narcissistic little fucker is one click away from Permanent Ignore.

And that ain't all.

What do you expect from someone who studies from the Howard Stern book of public discourse?

Booey, you hide because you don't write any original posts of your own and instead come out here merely to shit on people who have the balls to actually say something.

I have yet to hear an original idea from you. Everything you have said here at BC has been said by someone else already. Put down your "liberal in training" textbooks, turn off Howard, and try thinking. Ease into it though. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

Reading this thread is like the Star Wars ride at MGM-Disney (one of those sit in your seat, watch the screen while you are jerked around simulating movement deals) where I have to close my eyes to avoid puking on the vacationer in front of me, such is its disturbing lurching momentum. I don't really understand how a ruminative meditation on breasts could stir such emotions.

Anyway, I'm agnostic on breast augmentation: after seeing some of the results on The Swan it is clear that size isn't the issue but angle of projection, which breast-feeding alters. If it makes women happy, then it makes them happy and happy is good. I don't think there should be any particular pressure on women to have "perfect" breasts however, since for most people there are other priorities in life.

If it's important to you to be physically perfect, then go for it, but you should be doing all the other things to make you perfect at the same time: eating a healthy diet, exercising to tone up, taking care of your skin - in fact if you do these things, you may not need the surgery.

Having spent some time at Euro-resorts, I can say I don't like the willy-nilly exposure of breasts, draining the sexual aspect from them, although I also never think twice about seeing women breast-feed since that is their purpose after all.

The reason surgery has become so common among those who depend upon their appearance either for their living or their sense of self-worth is that our conception of the perfect body involves two mutually exclusive dictates: 1) large, buoyant breasts, and 2) very low body fat. In the real world these almost never go together, hence the Pamela Anderson look, which is very easy to ridicule, but we all sure as hell know who she is, don't we?

Eric, the shame of it is that CWs post is a great read. So you read it, start in on the comments, and then get to the assinine personal attacks that completely distort the post, its tone, and its point.

The few trolls we have at BC are, not surprisingly, tiresome and obnoxious. They seem to derive some sort of ego boost from the buckshot spray of mindless insults they spew ... all the while trying to pass it off as superior intellectual critique.

But the joke's on them. In this thread, you can see how in their zeal to be "edgy" and call attention to themselves, they miss the entire point of the original post.

A note on anonymity--I don't think it necessarily implies cowardice. I don't want to lose my job as a high school teacher. There is no telling if my blog would get me fired, but you never know. Still, I'm not being a coward, am I?

That's not even my main reason for maintaining anonymity. I don't want my students to read my blog. They might be horrified. Some kids, on reading my post on Reagan, would surely tune out everything that I said from that point on. I do my best to be politically neutral as a teacher. Let them think for themselves. While I abhor the fictive "Matrix" that envelops them and makes them think that the entire world is a happy place (not my stereotype of their thinking, actually--every day, I find the stereotype to be untrue for a lot of kids), I don't dare take them out of it. They need to extract themselves, if they ever do. So I teach them to think critically about the things we study (I try, anyway)--teach a man to fish. . . If they read my blog and see what a terrible writer I can be, they might lose motivation and start turning in crappy papers. I would have to read crappy papers--the horror, the horror.

I don't know that anonymity (it's a fun word to say, but I hate typing it--maybe I should start referring instead to my nom de plume--or is incognitoness a word?) matters one way or another as to the quality of a person's writing and ideas. I might have chosen a better name than Dirtgrain--man is it easy to mock. This reminds me of a Saturday Night Live skit about a couple who tries to name their soon-to-be-born son:

For every name that the wife suggests, the husband has all sorts of reasons why it sucks--he always figures out a way in which the name will be mocked (I don't remember the names they used in the skit, but for example: "No, not John. They'll say 'Let's flush him.'" "No, not Peter. Kids will call him Peterhead."). On and on they went in their brainstorming, and the husband was never satisfied. Then the doorbell rang. It was the pizza man, and the husband went to pay him. Pizza guy says, "That'll be $12.00, Mr. Asswipe." The husband says, "That's 'Ahsweepay.'"

I am an ardent CW fan and agree that quirky is more good than bad: what's special about Blogcritics is we have so many different kinds of quirky, including not quirky at all.

By Al Barger:
"On behalf of Jesus and NOW, I want to say that I am Deeply Offended by breasts- big ones, little ones, tight or loose and floppy ones. Especially Janet's".


What do you like that comes in pairs a set of hariy balls?

"that's Du-maaahs"

"that's Du-maaahs"

Are you cussing in Vietnamese?

Boobies!

Question:

When straight guys blatantly check out women with large breasts..is that considered sexist?
So then if a gay man starts checking out women with large breast…can he be a gay sexist?

Confused in Dallas,

Jack E. Jett

sounds dangerously bi to me

Eric the Read, Lord of the Ring, said: "Reading this thread is like the Star Wars ride at MGM-Disney (one of those sit in your seat, watch the screen while you are jerked around simulating movement deals) where I have to close my eyes to avoid puking on the vacationer in front of me, such is its disturbing lurching momentum."

GOOD ONE!

"Having spent some time at Euro-resorts, I can say I don't like the willy-nilly exposure of breasts, draining the sexual aspect from them..."

I understand, I've been there, seen it, got numb to it, suddenly realized, huh: Maybe this is how we're supposed to react. It's not permanent, Eric, this loss of divinity. The breast reclaims it as soon as it's covered. Muslims understand this concept, which is why their women live under a personal tent. It's sexier.

"The reason surgery has become so common among those who depend upon their appearance either for their living or their sense of self-worth is that our conception of the perfect body involves two mutually exclusive dictates: 1) large, buoyant breasts, and 2) very low body fat. In the real world these almost never go together, hence the Pamela Anderson look, which is very easy to ridicule, but we all sure as hell know who she is, don't we?"

Here you've fallen on the truth of it. Big tits on little bodies go together like big words in Pamela's mouth.

Dear Confused in Dallas:

You asked: "When straight guys blatantly check out women with large breasts..is that considered sexist? So then if a gay man starts checking out women with large breast…can he be a gay sexist?"

In other words, can you hurl the sexist brand at your wayward man? Yes, of course. We live in a time when words don't mean much. Mix n Match! But I don't think that's what's going on. I think you're being played. You're giving the hoped-for response by worrying out loud and showering him with affirmation of his worth, and he loves it. You, meanwhile, feel used, used up and left behind -- like a tit sucked dry and stuck in a book by those creepy Christers that put out the "Left Behind" series. And you are definitely better than that. Ironically, the anxiety you feel could be easily relieved by suckling for ten minutes. I say dig in, dude. Bury your troubles in a few fleshy bubbles. It might work, it might not, but one thing's for sure, your man will be cured.

cw:

you are so much smarter than ann landers and dr. phil combined.

jack

and WHAT a combination that would be

"...if a gay man starts checking out women with large breasts…can he be a gay sexist?"

No, his only crime is envy.

You're welcome,
Dr. Shark, PhD.


BTW: CW Fisher - "Eric the Read" -- pretty, um... damn... um... clever...

[snif]

Je Jo Mar -- I'm sorry Sharky!!! Eric the Read was yours. Of course. Dude, man, buddy, pal, I thought it was a longstanding nickname. I did. OK, I hoped. In the back of my mind I figured this is what I'd say if you questionned it.

Come on.

COME ON!

I'm sorry, Shark.

For this I shall do penanc. 100 days without farkle.

CW

I am honored to have a sobriquet fought over (wipes tear)

now back to the jugs ...

CW:

Seriously, man: I DON'T HATE YOU.

I find your posts intertaining. Once, I think I even gave you high praise as a writer.

I don't "hate" anyone here. Anti-American Jim annoys me with his bile, but he's a complete loon, so it's cool. Same with MD. Tek is fanatical, but sorta funny. BAB is insulting, but hilarious. BCB is a fine writer who I happen to often disagree with. Etc.

Honestly, CW, I feel pretty neutral towards you. Seriously. I mean that. :)

Oh. You were kidding. Nevermind... ;-P

HA!

Hilarious!!

We need a new symbol for tears. Never a need to explain, RJ. Understood.

And now, milking this for all it's worth, Back to the jugs.

Next week maybe we'll get back to our roots.

Here's a topic:

I once dated a gal with "uneven" boobs. One was a healthy B; the other was clearly a C.

Now, I didn't mind this at all. But, I wouldn't have really minded had she chosen to "even things out a bit" either...

Any thoughts on this?

You guys just don't understand how annoying breasts can be. All women are uneven and you can usually tell if you look hard enough. [Most aren't an entire cup size off, tho.]

You boys can hide your unevenly sized or lopsided balls in your boxers. Our boobs step through the door first, every time, out on display for all to see.

It's annoying.

"Our boobs step through the door first, every time, out on display for all to see."

I feel your pain, bhw, or I'd like to (I'm sorry, Mr. B). But the penis ain't exactly no 'mighty sword,' if I may be blunt. How would you like to have your brain taken away? How would you like it if sex was all you thought about, and then once you have it, you want to run and tell everybody at the bar, and you do? How would you like to be required to be cold and unfeeling toward the object of your affection or risk losing your best friends?

Yeah, I feel the same way.

I'm so glad those days are gone, for me at least, and I'm sorry to hear the old breasts are given you trouble. This evenness thing that RJ brought up is common I hear, and also common is the presence of a third breast.

But these are anomalies, and breasts really aren't, in general. They just seem like it because we pay such obsessive attention to them. A century from now they'll look back on today's body fashions and laugh, much as we laugh at those corsets that killed many a young woman. Funny stuff.

Yes, deadly undergarments are always good for a laugh. In fact, undergarments in general are a hoot - just ask Benny Hill. [Well, he's dead, but you know what I mean.]

My breasts have really not caused all that much trouble in my life. But your wonderful tit post just got me fixated on the little girls and I've been reflecting on them for days.

As for the brain-sucking penis, I do feel your pain. Women experience a similar feeling at the post-Christmas-holiday retail sale bonanza. We're sort of like Vulcans on that sex frenzy they go into every seven years, except that ours is an annual shopping frenzy. Yes, we lose our brains, think of nothing but bargain prices on crap we don't need, and then shop 'n tell, bragging to all our friends about our mall shopping conquests and how we berated the 16-year-old at the register into giving us the extra coupon discount even though we're not using our store credit card.

But at least we don't get a boner when the wind blows just right.

Men and women are both shallow:

Men want the hottest chick with the nicest bod to be their love slave. And then they want dinner. And ironed shirts.

Women want every physical possession they could possibly imagine (expensive car, huge house, phat diamond ring, a closet full of expensive clothes and shoes, etc.).

We are both, men and women, mindless scum. Talk amongst yourselves! :)

This is some of the most inane, mindless, uninspired tripe I've ever read. Talk about something you actually know about, dorks.

BHW: who has said what I've said before? Besides my silly moniker, you have nothing to say about me. I haven't heard anything but soccer mom nonsense from you. It's not my fault you can't read. Stop being so upset you hit the wall long ago. And hard too. Where's the bag?

Sharky poo: I'm still brilliant. But I don't think I'm smarter than anyone, nor have I said as much. I don't know where you get that impression, but go ahead and feel that way if you must. I don't think there's any reason for you to be envious and hateful since it's folly for you to compare yourself to me to begin with. Yeah, you're the "regular guy" and I'm some Ivory Tower punk with a "fancy education." If it works for you, go with it. Sure, keep telling yourself that you're even remotely in touch with how other humans on this planet live and talk. Go ahead and kiss up to your fellow old-timer -- I don't enjoy sycophants and I don't really fancy being your "alpha male," as you keep saying. I don't think that being quicker-witted than old men makes me driven by testosterone or whatever other nonsense you people have said. You need to calm down, angry folks. You'll have a heart attack.

Whoever said the thing about the lopsided boobs: they should get implants to even them out. I have slightly lopsided nuts, though. Hairy nuts are gross. Learn to groom and perhaps your talk about sex and women will be more than merely academic.

Boobs matter. Penis matters. So does personality. Get some boobs, grow a pair, stop being insecure about your manhood (or lack thereof) and get personalities.

Whatever. I'll leave you to have your circle jerk dork-off in this topic. I can't even count the weird, pathetic comments anymore.

That is all.

Baaaaa...baaaaa...

Booey.

Sheep.

The flock is calling you home!

I can't help being reminded of Andrew Dice Clay.

"Bob A. Blewme. He needed the money! Whoa!"

That is all.

BAB:

You're rapidly becoming something of a caricature. Your depth on certain topics is likely to be washed away in a sea of mockery.

Word To The Wise: Quit with the attack posts. Instead, post the literary wizardry you are capable of.

It's like reading Sandra Smallson with better punctuation.

Zzzzzzzz....

Baaaa...baaaa....

No, Sandra is my love from afar.

BAB is a witty dude who spends too much time attacking those he disagrees with, and too little time citing his claims.

BAB: You NEED to be a BlogCritic at this point.

Get a Blog. Then post something here. Everyone will be happy...

Point taken, RJ.

Here's the thing, though. Whenever I do make a comment of intellectual substance, I get very little intellectual substance in return. A perfect example are Sam Vaknin's intelligent threads about Bush and Michael Moore and psychology, which none of you have really bothered to think about. People either agree (which I appreciate, don't get me wrong) or offer blanket disagreements.

I don't "attack" people who disagree with my views, you'll find. I engage them and have a serious discussion -- anyone who's argued against me on the Cosby thread or various others can attest to that. When people get to the point of becoming absurd or prejudiced, then I don't find that engagement productive.

There are certain people whose mode of communication seems to be primarily ad hominem attacks. On occasion, I have chosen to respond to them with jokes because I'm damn funny. There are also people who are remarkably bizarre and poor writers whose takes on various issues are dishonest or simplistic and deserve criticism and correction.

Again, I do not know how to blog. You think I'm joking, but I'm serious. I don't even know how one would start a topic on this site. I would if I had something interesting to say, but you all seem to do a decent job of picking out various topics of interest. I'm not sure that I have any new ideas or the time to write them up the way I'd want to for you all. You'll often find that my comments on said posted topics are far more detailed, thought-out and incisive than the post itself. I'd say 85% of the time this is the case. So in that sense, I don't feel I need a blog per se.

I'm new to your world and I really don't understand some of the criticisms the "attack" folks make or your inside jokes or your Internet "friends" and "enemies." I don't really get into that one bit.

I also hold a much higher standard for analysis and the extensiveness of research than most of you do, so my "blogs" would be rather lengthy and detailed and probably lose most readers who would be interested in the topic. Trust me, my evidence for "claims" on serious issues would make your eyes water. I haven't yet really seen a good discussion of serious issues, though, other than perhaps the Cosby/race one. That's why you'll find most of my commentary on less serious topics like pop culture, where off-the-cuff comments don't require researched debates. Because I think those are less likely to degenerate into blind ideological shouting matches and stereotyping where serious dialogue would be more appropriate.

I do get your point about not stooping to the level of poor minds, though. Not that I'm overly concerned with "credibility" on a website, whatever that means.

I agree that Sandra Smallson is boring. And you're all caricatures :)

That is all.

Comment #2:

Boy, you are such a misogynist. All that BS about "breasts not mattering" and you end in the most pandering attempt to get boob pictures ever. Don't even try and call it irony. You're just hard up.

Comment #16:
Did you fry up those brains, Dahmer? I'm not really sure what you mean by "good" in this context. And "ALL your women" doesn't include people you've locked in your basement against their will. Your wife and her Stockholm syndrome don't count, the poor woman. She's a saint, I'm sure.

and

Comment # 60:
There are certain people whose mode of communication seems to be primarily ad hominem attacks.

Hmmmm.....

Those are in response to ad hominem attacks, yenta. You'll find, as in your case, that I never initiate those attacks. Way to take things out of context.

ASKING women to post their breasts online IS misogyny. Ask any actual feminist.

Stop obsessing about me, BHW. Your "sheep" joke just gets funnier and funnier. Pun comedy never gets old. Like I said, you have nothing to say that isn't about my silly moniker.

I'd like to see you discuss something substantive just ONCE, BHW, instead of focusing on me. Big Hairy Walrus out!

That is all.

Besides, if you follow this discussion and the other one about "rules of engagement," you'll realize that I have learned to accept CW Fisher's creepy oddity since he stopped with the weak insults. I'm civil when people deserve it and stop being uncivilized with their thoughts and speech.

That is all.

Baaa baaa, you started the game in comment #2. Comment #2. How is it out of context if they're the very first words you wrote?

Did someone attack you in comment #1?

Pussy.

Jesus, you're not bright.

It pains me to answer your moronic questions since you don't follow what I type in the previous answer.

Calling a MISOGYNIST post MISOGYNIST is not an attack. This post and the other similar one (where there were attacks, by the way, prior to this post) offend multiple sensibilities to anyone who's not illiterate or a sociopath. I know that's hard for you to relate to, but this is strange, disturbing, and sexist writing masquerading as understanding. "Show me your boobs please?" is an abnormal request and there are multiple other reasons why these other comments are bizarre. I won't get into them again because you seem to think my disagreement with the ideas and tone expressed are "picking on" the author.

Again, I don't really care. Have your fun and stop asking for my attention on this topic.

That is all.

Nice little closer there. I just noticed that. That was one of CW's ad hominem attacks as well. Frustrated nerds think alike with their weak insults. Yours is wrinkled and diseased, by the way.

Don't hate me because I have a pair, old woman.

That is all.

Those are in response to ad hominem attacks, yenta.

Your words, not mine. Now you're saying your comments were NOT in response to an ad hominem attack but to the post itself? Which is it?

Here's something from your first, unprovoked, not-in-response-to-an-attack-on-you comment from the "rules" thread:

This is one of the worst paragraphs ever written. Virgin. You and your friend combined wouldn't make up enough of one man to satsify any woman ever.

That's comment #4 on this thread, if you need a little context refresher there, too.

Mr. Booey:

I felt the same way when I started. You'd be good here. I went with Blogger because it was there. Not recommending it, it's just what I use. Blogger is part of Google. Click where it says "create a blog," answer a few questions, name it, give yourself a password, and it's yours. Free.

Choose a template for what it's going to look like. Write something and post it. Tweek and tweek, then send it to RJ for an opinion, and when you're ready, make it public.

Audience takes a while to build. Get a counter that tell you who's reading you, how long they spend, how many come an hour, day, week, month, year, how many pages are they reading, and what part of the world they're writing from. This would be Site Meter.

Once you've got your blog where you're liking it, send a note to BC co-founder Eric Olsen and see what happens. If the answer's yes, you're in. Then we haze you. Then you're really in.

There is not a writer or blogger reading this who hasn't thought they could do better, who hasn't said something they regretted then made it worse when they were trying to correct it, nor is there one who hasn't grown from pain, because pain is the great teacher.

Hope to see you back soon, and good luck!

Curt Fisher

I'm a B-cup, I have little boobs, & they're beautiful! They're all natural...there's nothing plastic or phony about me.


The problem I have with most people is the dumbfucks (male & female) who think that big boobs= sexy, and small boobs= unsexy, or not feminine. CW is right when he said that there are many variations to female body types & that small breasts have as many advantages as big 'uns.


I might be small-breasted, but at least I have the option of not needing a bra every day. I can lie comfortably on my stomach, wear whatever I want to, run & bounce but without the hassle of back pain, & make love without my chest being the main point of attention. I still get stares, whistles, & cat-calls...I did even when I was an A-cup, so it goes to show that contrary to misconceptions, "flatchested" females are not all homely creatures overlooked by men in favor of women busting out of their bras.


I've never had to work for male attention. It comes naturally (not boasting, simply being honest), whether I want it or not. I don't have to throw my tits around to attract men, unlike many large-breasted women who relate their chest size to their sex appeal. Not to be catty, but men know I have blue eyes...they aren't busy staring at my boobs. I've only met a handful of males who ever hinted that they're turned off by small tits. Tough luck. *shrug* We all have our preferences & anyway, it's true...mainly fat women have large breasts & I'm not busty or fat, so it doesn't bother me. They're either into fat ladies or bony supermodel types with implants.

I'm in my early 20's, witty, clever, friendly, pretty, curvy figure with small boobs, & that has never stopped me from feeling feminine and sexy. My point? Breasts are primarily for nourishing children with food & stability, no matter what their size. A pair of 34C's has the same amount of milk glands as a pair of 34A's. I wish people could accept that women are more than body parts. Our bodies receive much more scrutiny & ridicule if they don't measure up to other people's yardstick of "beauty". Large breasts aren't bad, some people are just made that way, & it's the same with small ones. Tits are tits are tits. Only in America are they perceived as being sexual...in other parts of the world, most men don't wig out at the mere sight of titties, bare or otherwise, big or small. And breast implants aren't as common either.

thanks A, clearly breasts have been mcu more fetishized here than elsewhere. Does anyone have thoughts on why?

You are such a retard. I'm attracted to the curves that women possess and that is their purpose in the first place. I like big boobs, belly pouches,wide hips and the big round buttocks and thighs that come with them. I'm attracted to women.
Big boobs DON'T sag. All Natural breasts just rest on the rib-cage by the early 20's and stay there until pregnancy or when the woman reaches middle-age. It's a sign of fertility.
It seems to me that Mr. or Mrs. fisher (whatever) here is just a crappy trying to find something wrong with the female body.
I am not ashamed of my attraction to women or women who actually look like women for that matter.

I am totally delighted with my 48 DD boobs - love everything about them and would not change one thing.

Perhaps you are just jealous you do not have womanly breasts ?!!!!!

You'd love mine - big, juicy and huge nips ..........

I know you're totally joking, but 48 DD is gross. You'd have to be awfully obese, like over 200 pounds. A size 48 back would make you basically a water buffalo or at least a moose. And you'd have awful posture because those things would weigh a ton and make you slouch.

I'm fine with a perfect 32C myself.

That is all.

Incidentally, I apologize to everyone for being such a little punk way back when. I just read our little disputes here and it's hilarious, but completely different from how I'd express myself now :)

That is all.

i disagree. some women are absolutely obsessesed with their breasts -- many, actually. they may be dissatisfied with their own, but they generally like breasts.

i have small breasts (squarely in A territory here!) and I would never, ever, ever want larger ones. ever. they are TREMENDOUSLY annoying, they get in the way, they are physically uncomfortable. I wish i was a kid and didn't have them.