The Duke Presents The 13 Best Horror Films Of All Ever
Published June 07, 2004
The film was butchered to blazes by distributors, and as a result, it's virtually impossible to grab a perfect print of it nowadays. There's an 84 minute "directors cut" doing the rounds, but that's still somewhat short of the original 91 minute running time.
Still a damn sight better than the 78 minute hacked-and-slashed offering that viewers were saddled with for years.
Although, of course, any are preferable to the 1998 Wes Craven-produced remake, directed by Adam Grossman, dizzy with the success of his earlier Sometimes They Come Back… Again!
The Haunting (1963)
Director - Robert Wise
The Haunting remains the towering achievement of Robert Wise's career, a career that also sees fit to include one of the greatest Sci-Fi flicks of all ever in the form of the pacifist epic, The Day The Earth Stood Still.
The Haunting is less explicit in its "messages" and so-on, but it still has plenty of weighty themes operating away under there, not least guilt, repressed homosexuality and schizophrenia.
Also, quite uniquely, it manages to be terrifying without either showing us any ghosties or even confirming that there are any. The manifestations presented within the pristine 2:35 ratio are very possibly the result of any number of psychological anomalies, ranging from mass hysteria to personal dementia. Wise cheats somewhat to this end by actually showing us such shit-educing terrors as a door bending inwards on account of the otherworldly thumps it is receiving, but at the film's close, the overriding notion we are left with is that poor, repressed Eleanor has in fact been undergoing an "episode", brought on both by the death of her invalid mother and also her attraction to the voluptuous lesbian Theodora.
The most impressive character in the film, though, is to be found not in the group who seek to investigate the reports of haunting's in the house, but rather the building itself. Our eyes are constantly scanning the widescreen image, picking out the statues or finger-like plants that hide in the corners of the frame. The house is an oppressive, almost-breathing entity, and it is this claustrophobic unease which Jan De Bont saw fit to squander in his 1999 remake.
Who the hell needs atmosphere when we can have CGI beasties pinning folks to a bed, is the point he was making.
Onibaba (1964)
Director - Kaneto Shindo
Shindo's masterpiece is perhaps not as labyrinthine in its thematic or narrative concerns as Kobayashi's Kwaidan, the other Asian horror masterpiece from '64, but it remains, by the hair of a decomposing head, the better film of the two.
What Onibaba concerns itself with, is being a tale set in Feudal Japan, regarding two women who live in a wheat field, and who ambush passing samurai, kill them, strip them, fling their bodies into a pit in the middle of the field, and then sell the armor.
This might not seem like enough to sustain 103 minutes of screen-time, let alone enough to justify its placing in this here list of The 13 Best Horrors Of All Ever, but, like Carnival Of Souls, this is very much a mood piece. Anyone looking for jump-scares or buckets of gut-strewn gore will be left complaining about "What a load of fucking toss", but if you allow Shindo to work his magic, you'll find yourself becoming a hell of a lot unsettled without really being entirely sure why.
- The Duke Presents The 13 Best Horror Films Of All Ever
- Published: June 07, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Video: Art House, Video: Classics, Video: Documentary, Video: Fantasy, Video: Horror, Video: Suspense and Mystery
- Writer: Duke De Mondo
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Comments
Jadester, thats great! Lists are made for to be debated and yelled at and what not. Personally, i think its filled with amazing imagery. That bit with the fella being used like a puppet, thats fantastic. The first film was much darker in tone, but Dream Warriors is jut bursting with invention, some of which, granted, may seem a bit daft, but the whole surreal feel of the thing carries it through i think.
Thanks!
I have to agree with Jadester on this one. Although after reading your justification for Dream Warriors to be included, I see where you're coming from, I just think it's a pretty substandard film (mind you, I'm not the person to talk about slasher films - with the exception of the first Halloween, I watch slashers only by chance when they're on the tv).
But on the upside, your list did what we all hope a list will do; rather than confirm existing favorites, will lead me to new films and a lot of these look pretty good (I see no link to buy witchfinder or Ghostwatch)
My list would have to include Shining, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (that film just gets better and better every time you watch it), Jaws....honourable mention would go to (I fear with what I'm about to say I may be barred from all serious conversations for the rest of my life): Deep Blue Sea as a textbook case on how to make an effective shocker out of a not very good script.
Further honourable mentions would go to Prince of Darkness and The Thing
Toby, i would have loved nothing more than to include links to Withcfinder General and Ghostwatch, but, alas, they are available only on region 2, and since Amazon.com doesn't keep such fare, my hands were tied.
You can pick them up at www.amazon.co.uk though, although i'm not sure what they're shipping etc costs.
Great honourable mentions there, and whilst i wouldn't personally say Deep Blue Sea was a shocker of any sort, i did enjoy it tremendously. It was a hell of a lot of fun, is what.
I really should have had The Thing on this list, and The Fly too, but look out for them in The Duke's no-doubt forthcoming Best Remakes Of All Ever.
The Dream Warriors controversy rages on.
i agree that this list will guide me to try new films. I haven't seen most of the ones you mention (altho i have heard of them), and seeing no-nonsense synopses without having to find the dvds themselves in some huge highstreet store is good. Also i know you're for real, and i share at least some of your taste in films, so that's a good indication for me =+)
In defense of Deep Blue Sea: I sat in that cinema and I remember at points the tension was almost too much (I particularly remember the scene where the woman returns to pick up something and there's a great scene as she delicately descends the steps in to the water, and the camera remains focused on her feet, moving from the air to under the water as she walks down.) - I don't know if this commentary has just outed me as a big pussy terrified of computer generated sharks, but such is the luck of the internet.
Further honourable mentions: Don't Look Now, and another great ending would be Wicker Man. And aside from Fly, is there no Cronenburg here? I can't think of which one it should be..videdrome is good, but shouldn't break top 15.
further evidence I'm a pussy. I've heard great things about Cannibal Holocaust and Irreversible, but will not see either one. Somehow my stomach has got a little more squeamish as I've grown older until now at 28 the prospect of outright gore and excessive violence puts me off
Toby, Dont Look Now never really did much for me, to be honest. The Wicker Man, however, is amazing, and debated wether it or Witchfinderr General should be on here. In the end i opted for Price.
Also, nothing "pussy"-like about not wanting to see Cannibal Holocaust or Irreversible (and i don't mean that in a patronising way either). Neither one is suitable for anyone to just throw on. Both are seriously disturbing, and it took a long time to shake some of the imagery from mine skull.
Toby - i've put Ghostwatch, witchfinder general and anything else that isn't available through amazon.com on my own site at The Duke's Store so if you click on the links you can see how postage and so on works out. Anything else will be on blogcritics, but stuff thats not available for to link here, i'll put on my own site. Thanks folks. plug over.
I scrolled through this so fast it flung me back to the home page, how bad is that?
Anyways, I didn't really read this, though, I will give a big stripy hair shout out to "Bride of Frankenstein"
But I am watching what could be the best kung fu movie ever starring Jewish chix from New Jersey.
So just grasp your own bad self firmly.
After having read the list, it is missing the one movie which really, in my adult life, scared the beejebus out of me: "The Rapture". Made by the same dude who made other apocalyptic movies, this bit of stuff, which isn't available to the public, which is how fucking scary it is, just gave me nightmares for weeks.
Great soundtrack, lots of hot Mimi Rogers, and the end of the world.
Gives "The Prophesy" a run for it's money, tackles it, and yanks up its underpants for Damien to laugh at.
Jim, i've been wanting to see that flick you mention for ages!
I just can't get enough of the old Christian paranoia.
Don't mind if I chip in with what seems to be the 13th comment here! Great list. Terrifically written too--I like the way you just put it out there, man. I even agree with some of your choices...only some of them though. What I like is the up-front way you just go-get your point across. Gimme more 13 Best Lists.
Your 13th Commentor.


The Duke (Aaron McMullan to his parents and the clergy) is a Northern Irish writer, performer and insomniac currently residing in London. He is the creator of 










i'm afraid i disagree with Dream Warriors being there. That film is laughable, and there's plenty that's better