The Duke Presents The 13 Best Horror Films Of All Ever
Published June 07, 2004
Like The Never-Ending Story, except with death by veins being ripped out of arms, and multiple injections of heroin simultaneously.
The film is filled with classic moments and images; The Freddy-Worm, the head-through-the-telly party piece ("Welcome to prime-time, bitch!"), Patricia Arquette's doll-house made from lollypop sticks, the talking disembodied head ("Where's the fucking bourbon, bitch!"), the hall of mirrors finale. It's also the last time Fred Krueger would be presented as a supremely nasty, evil-spewing motherfucker, until Craven decided to reinvent the crater-faced son of a bitch (or a thousand maniacs, as the screenplay prefers) in the commercially-disastrous but actually quite wonderful New Nightmare.
The following three films exhibited invention in fits-and-starts, but Dream Warriors sustains its momentum from the get-go until the final, bloody showdown. It's the best entry in the series, folks, whatever those filmic affairs intellectuals might tell you.
Ghostwatch (1992)
Director - Lesley Manning
The Duke's love of Ghostwatch knows no bounds, even though it is crippled by a remarkably fucking daft ending. The preceding 90 minutes more than compensate,though, and when it's all over, you won't be thinking about Michael Parkinson having his hair blown about and cameras flying about the studio, but will in fact be struggling to get that image of a half-glimpsed Mr. Pipes out of your head, or those eerie as all hell cat-noises.
The BBC had produced a few top-drawer spook stories hitherto, most notably Nigel Kneale's The Stone Tape, but those efforts, whilst fondly-remembered and still-enjoyable, have lost much of whatever scare-effect they once had. Ghostwatch, by way of convenient contrast, continues to scare the fuckery out of the viewer.
Broadcast on Halloween night, 1992, Ghostwatch has never been repeated, although thank Christ it has been issued on DVD by the BFI. Complaints flooded the offices of the Beeb, with folks being outraged at the knicker-wetting horror of it all, and then outraged even more when they realized how stupid they had been to have believed a second of it. The controversy even led to the BBC withdrawing the film from the BAFTA awards, in which it received a nomination.
The very name of the damn thing is enough to elicit reams of nostalgic pondering from a certain section of the British public who braved their living rooms that night. The sheer unavailability of the film, until recently, added no-end to its general mystique. That it stands up against this wave of expectation is indicative of its power.
Originally intended as a 6-part series which would conclude with a "live" finale, writer Steven Volk wisely decided upon the one-off special route. It paid off in dividends, of course. It's just a shame he wasn't allowed to go all the way and insert an noise on the soundtrack, as he had proposed, which, whilst inaudible to us mere humans, would have caused any animals in the house to get all ballistic.
The Duke takes his hat off to you, Ghostwatch, and in this weather, that's a mighty fucking complimentary gesture.
- The Duke Presents The 13 Best Horror Films Of All Ever
- Published: June 07, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Video: Art House, Video: Classics, Video: Documentary, Video: Fantasy, Video: Horror, Video: Suspense and Mystery
- Writer: Duke De Mondo
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Comments
Jadester, thats great! Lists are made for to be debated and yelled at and what not. Personally, i think its filled with amazing imagery. That bit with the fella being used like a puppet, thats fantastic. The first film was much darker in tone, but Dream Warriors is jut bursting with invention, some of which, granted, may seem a bit daft, but the whole surreal feel of the thing carries it through i think.
Thanks!
I have to agree with Jadester on this one. Although after reading your justification for Dream Warriors to be included, I see where you're coming from, I just think it's a pretty substandard film (mind you, I'm not the person to talk about slasher films - with the exception of the first Halloween, I watch slashers only by chance when they're on the tv).
But on the upside, your list did what we all hope a list will do; rather than confirm existing favorites, will lead me to new films and a lot of these look pretty good (I see no link to buy witchfinder or Ghostwatch)
My list would have to include Shining, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (that film just gets better and better every time you watch it), Jaws....honourable mention would go to (I fear with what I'm about to say I may be barred from all serious conversations for the rest of my life): Deep Blue Sea as a textbook case on how to make an effective shocker out of a not very good script.
Further honourable mentions would go to Prince of Darkness and The Thing
Toby, i would have loved nothing more than to include links to Withcfinder General and Ghostwatch, but, alas, they are available only on region 2, and since Amazon.com doesn't keep such fare, my hands were tied.
You can pick them up at www.amazon.co.uk though, although i'm not sure what they're shipping etc costs.
Great honourable mentions there, and whilst i wouldn't personally say Deep Blue Sea was a shocker of any sort, i did enjoy it tremendously. It was a hell of a lot of fun, is what.
I really should have had The Thing on this list, and The Fly too, but look out for them in The Duke's no-doubt forthcoming Best Remakes Of All Ever.
The Dream Warriors controversy rages on.
i agree that this list will guide me to try new films. I haven't seen most of the ones you mention (altho i have heard of them), and seeing no-nonsense synopses without having to find the dvds themselves in some huge highstreet store is good. Also i know you're for real, and i share at least some of your taste in films, so that's a good indication for me =+)
In defense of Deep Blue Sea: I sat in that cinema and I remember at points the tension was almost too much (I particularly remember the scene where the woman returns to pick up something and there's a great scene as she delicately descends the steps in to the water, and the camera remains focused on her feet, moving from the air to under the water as she walks down.) - I don't know if this commentary has just outed me as a big pussy terrified of computer generated sharks, but such is the luck of the internet.
Further honourable mentions: Don't Look Now, and another great ending would be Wicker Man. And aside from Fly, is there no Cronenburg here? I can't think of which one it should be..videdrome is good, but shouldn't break top 15.
further evidence I'm a pussy. I've heard great things about Cannibal Holocaust and Irreversible, but will not see either one. Somehow my stomach has got a little more squeamish as I've grown older until now at 28 the prospect of outright gore and excessive violence puts me off
Toby, Dont Look Now never really did much for me, to be honest. The Wicker Man, however, is amazing, and debated wether it or Witchfinderr General should be on here. In the end i opted for Price.
Also, nothing "pussy"-like about not wanting to see Cannibal Holocaust or Irreversible (and i don't mean that in a patronising way either). Neither one is suitable for anyone to just throw on. Both are seriously disturbing, and it took a long time to shake some of the imagery from mine skull.
Toby - i've put Ghostwatch, witchfinder general and anything else that isn't available through amazon.com on my own site at The Duke's Store so if you click on the links you can see how postage and so on works out. Anything else will be on blogcritics, but stuff thats not available for to link here, i'll put on my own site. Thanks folks. plug over.
I scrolled through this so fast it flung me back to the home page, how bad is that?
Anyways, I didn't really read this, though, I will give a big stripy hair shout out to "Bride of Frankenstein"
But I am watching what could be the best kung fu movie ever starring Jewish chix from New Jersey.
So just grasp your own bad self firmly.
After having read the list, it is missing the one movie which really, in my adult life, scared the beejebus out of me: "The Rapture". Made by the same dude who made other apocalyptic movies, this bit of stuff, which isn't available to the public, which is how fucking scary it is, just gave me nightmares for weeks.
Great soundtrack, lots of hot Mimi Rogers, and the end of the world.
Gives "The Prophesy" a run for it's money, tackles it, and yanks up its underpants for Damien to laugh at.
Jim, i've been wanting to see that flick you mention for ages!
I just can't get enough of the old Christian paranoia.
Don't mind if I chip in with what seems to be the 13th comment here! Great list. Terrifically written too--I like the way you just put it out there, man. I even agree with some of your choices...only some of them though. What I like is the up-front way you just go-get your point across. Gimme more 13 Best Lists.
Your 13th Commentor.


The Duke (Aaron McMullan to his parents and the clergy) is a Northern Irish writer, performer and insomniac currently residing in London. He is the creator of 










i'm afraid i disagree with Dream Warriors being there. That film is laughable, and there's plenty that's better