SPEAKING OF WAGGING THE DOG:

Welcome to the Kingdom of Fear, where the Bush Junta makes Clinton look like an amateur when it comes to distractions.

Headlines have gone from

--"Another Bombing in Baghdad"
--"Gas Prices Highest in History"
-- "More Abu Ghraib Horrors Released"
-- "Bush Plunges in Polls"
-- "Europe, NATO, and the UN say to Bush: Fuck You, We Ain't touchin' Your Oozing Puss-Filled Open American Sore Known as Iraq"

~ to ~

"TERRORISTS PLAN TO ATTACK ON US SOIL"

Gee. Like we didn't KNOW that... especially after we blew the "occupation" — or is that "liberation" of Iraq.

Look: It's now almost JUNE OF 2004, and we haven't seen hide nor hair of Tom Ridge since the day he was appointed "Director of Fatherland Security" — but now that:

1) Bush's popularity is plunging;
2) Iraq is getting worse (if that's possible);
3) Abu Ghraib and the US military's idea of homoeroticism won't go away;
4) the economy, thanks to gasoline, is about to tank even more...

...THEY TROT OUT THE TERRORISTS.

"Get Ridge out there to rustle up some "scare"!"

No, by "Terrorists" I do not mean Bin Laden and his boyz, I mean the Bush Administration spokesmen who casually drop words like "Dirty Bomb" and "Bioterrorism" into interviews with every empty talking head on every TV channel Thursday morning.

They're not only trying to frighten us into a "Bush/Cheney 04" T-shirt, they're trying to do a Cover-Yer-Ass move in case this summer ends like the one in '01. "Hey, we told you... even had an explicit report titled 'Bin Laden Determined to Attack Before 04 Election ('Cuz He's for Kerry)"

What are they trying to tell us?

Be vigilant.

Fuck you, Tommy. You BE vigilant.

I'm too busy collecting cans along the side of the highway to notice what sort of freight is coming into Houston — or who is getting on an airplane with a smoking shoe or a pair of fingernail files.

You be vigilant, Tommy.

Or get that Republican Cash Cow/Golden Calf, the Star-Wars Missile Defense Program up and running, but make damn sure they add a setting for "Crop Dusters".

Better yet, take some of that $175 BILLION you dickheads spent in Iraq and shore up the USA's borders — which leak more than Karl Rove's office about the identity of CIA agents married to whistleblowers.

Well, gotta run, kids. I have to go back to work on my *'safe room'.

*a room without a TV