AT LAST! AT LAST! AT LAST!

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King is finally available on DVD. Why is this so significant? Because I was too cheap to go watch it on the big screen, that's why.

(A brief pause while readers say rude things about the writer for being such a tight-ass dweeb)

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So today I am devoting a full three hours and forty-five minutes (purchase time PLUS movie watching time PLUS bathroom breaks) to the experience of watching the final installment of a saga that has been breathtaking in a great many ways. The performances, the costumes, and especially the New Zealand scenery, made these movies very deserving of the gazillion awards they took home a couple of months ago.

And yes, I mean THESE movies. You don't honestly think the Academy was giving out the trophies for just the last one, do you? Since it really isn't a trilogy (said J.R.R. Tolkien, himself), and the three films were shot back-to-back-to-back, I think it's more than fair to lump them together for the purposes of awarding genitalia-free, golden representations of the human form in the name of movie-making excellence. Or Oscars, for short.

The Return of the King is considered by many to be the best of the three, which only increases my excitement. I thoroughly enjoyed The Fellowship of the Ring, and the battle of Helm's Deep in The Two Towers ranks as one of the greatest movie spectacles I have ever witnessed.

And since I haven't read Tolkien's books (shame on me/good for me), there is nothing to spoil the story.

On that note, I will now descend to the garage for a trip to the local mall to pick up a shiny, little disc. When I get home, I will barricade myself inside the room that has the DVD player.

If anyone wants me, leave a message after the beep.