If I were one of those super-villains that ran around in a costume but didn't powers? Those guys that always escape while the henchmen get their heads handed to them? The ones with the secret hollowed out mountain to hide out in when shit gets all stank? The guys who have secret organizations that infiltrate the government, perverting its mechanisms toward their own dastardly¹ ends? If I was one of those guys?

I'd just smash all those Middle Eastern countries. Fuck trying to rebuild them.

If I was evil.

Turn 'em over to the UN after their good and screwed. I got my fabulous wealth and secret hideaways, being pronounced a failure in this regard would mean nothing to me.

Because, you see, the UN only knows how to build one kind of nation, one kind of economy. They very kind that will fall right into my lap clutches² via the various international organizations at my command.

BWAAAAAHahahah!

If I were evil, that's what I would do.

---

¹ I only wrote this so I could use the word "dastardly." I've never had the chance to use it in normal conversation, and it just popped in my mind while I was thinking of Cheney. I'm going to go wash my mind out with soap now...

²I originally had "lap" here, but "clutches" sounds so much more…dastardly…I had to go with "clutches."