The Swan Pageant Preview (1 of 2): The Strife Of The Duck
Published May 19, 2004
Poor Daffy - - - but even poorer ducks, indeed. However, the activists continued fighting and it was not long before the American Psychiatric Association declassified quacking as being a mental illness. It seems that all ducks suffered from the stereotype that Daffy manifested.
December 1, 1974: On a very hot day, the steroid-induced Big Bird lifted his leg and out popped a little egg. Since Big Bird was male, it was obvious that this was some sort of immaculate egg-laying. He wanted to keep it, but he had no room in his nest. After all, he had to save room for his furry elephant friend, Snufalupagus. Everyone always thought he was imaginary, but little did they know he was actually hiding in the nest while sticking his trunk where it might not belong. EEEEW! But hey, their relationship has at least ignited a sense of hope for the platypus.
Big Bird did not know what to do. He asked Snuffy for advice, which Snuffy in turn referred him to another friend who was into Bird-Elephant relations - his faithful friend Horton. So, Big Bird asked Horton what he should do. Horton looked deep into Big Bird's eyes and said, give the little chick up for adoption. Big Bird then asked Horton if he was sure that this was the right thing to do. Horton looked back up at Big Bird and said, "Yes indeed, an elephant's faithful one hundred percent."
Big Bird then remembered that two young "bachelors" from Miami had recently moved to his neighborhood. One was tall and yellow and had a unibrow. The other was short and fat and laughed so much that spit shot out of the sides of his mouth. They seemed happy and appeared to be suitable parents. In fact, they even tried to adopt a child in the past, but the evil legislature of Florida would simply not condone it.
When the egg finally hatched, out popped a rubber duck. Apparently, Snuffy and Bird tried to use protection. Anyway, Big Bird scooped up the duck and gave it to a stork. The stork then delivered the baby to its new home. The new couple lived together in an apartment at 123 Sesame Street in East Greenwich Village in New York. To many across the globe, this would be known as Burt and Ernie's house.
Ernie opened his orange face and the words, "rubber duckie you're the one" resonated throughout every home across America. Although the fundamentalist anti-duck organizations claimed that this would harm society, their hateful message was ultimately ignored. People all over the world FINALLY fell in love with the ducks and bath houses all over the Village became much more entertaining!
- The Swan Pageant Preview (1 of 2): The Strife Of The Duck
- Published: May 19, 2004
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- Section: Video
- Writer: The Raging Critic
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