MY 100TH BLOGCRITICS POST!
Published May 07, 2004
Bake me a cake, fuckers!
This post has little, if any, meaning. It is merely a self-congratulatory bit of tripe. Enjoy!
MY LIFE:
So. I have relatively recently garnered my AA from a well-respected Community College. (Yes, I realize that's a little like calling Jenna Jameson a well-respected thespian. So friggin' what?)
I'm currently single, and more than happy to offer "back-rubs and box-chow" to attractive blondes with tongue-rings. Or cute brunettes who are bereft of piercings. Or, a morbidly obese redhead with low self-esteem. Whatever.
I don't do drugs!
I work full-time in a job that demands little, and pays less. But I have a nice wrist watch!
I watch Adult Swim.
I haven't killed anyone. Ever. (So far.)
So, I'm pretty fulfilled. Except, you know, the girlfriend part. But, it's not like I don't have my options. I mean, fat broads and those whose only penalty in life is an extra chromosome are practically knocking down my front door, begging for it.
Yeah, life is good...
Oh, and my tongue can touch my nose. BOO-YAH! ;-]
RJ Elliott is a graduate student studying Criminal Justice at the University Of Central Florida. His likes include nature, sports, and pierced blondes. He dislikes daytime television, left-wing dictators, and lead-tainted Chinese imports. He is ambivalent about Angelina Jolie.
- MY 100TH BLOGCRITICS POST!
- Published: May 07, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Writer: RJ Elliott
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Comments on this articleComments
Coupla points, RJ:
1) 100 posts? Jeez, it seems like millions.
2) So you got a certificate from Alcoholics Anonymous. BFD.
3) There is no such thing as a well-respected, adamantly underlined "community college." Sorry.
4) Based on your criteria for "broads", I'm really surprised you're still single...
~NOT!
5) You don't do drugs? Pity. You should start.; one night with the Peyote Gods and you'd give up this Right-Wing Republican bullshit and realize oneness with the universe is much more important than a nice wristwatch.
6) re: a cake - you've heard about the Bulimic Stag Party? The cake comes outta the girl?
xxoo
S
I went to Mexico this past weekend with my girlfriend. Upon returning, I began to vomit (among other things), had a fever, was cold and clammy, dizzy and just as sick as a dog. I am told they call this Montezuma's Revenge. I have been weak, tired, and am just now getting my energy back.
After reading this post, I can feel Montezuma making a comeback. Thanks RJ.
RJ, I appreciate your efforts and contributions and I believe you have startled your detrators on a regular basis with serious thought and perspective that they don't expect from someone who often fences with a thick, blunt sword. I know you speak in hyperbole and for effect far more often than most realize. My only suggestion would be to make it a bit more clear which mode you are operating in at any given time.
Thanks again!
Such disdain, such butt-kissing! And all on one post!
I'm gonna consider this a not-post, so I have you still at 99, RJ.
<grin>
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No comments on my flippant, self-derogatory post?
I am ashamed in all of you... ;-]