I will miss them. I'll miss Chandler and Monica. I'll miss Rachel. I'll miss Joey, though not for long. I'll miss Phoebe and, um, whatshisname. And I'll miss Ross.

Actually, I never liked Ross. So I won't really miss him after all.

Friends, like so many good shows before it, has now had its BIG finale. And what a pile of sentimental crap it was. If there were any people sitting on the fence as to whether or not Friends should end, this episode must surely have sent them crashing to the YES side with a tremendous thud.

I know. Final episodes are supposed to be sentimental. Well, except for Seinfeld. That one was just dark. But it seems they all do the same thing. Loose threads are wrapped up; everybody reminisces for a bit; there's a group hug; and fade to black.

If you haven't seen it, and you're planning to buy the DVD of this episode in a week (that's right — five days, actually), then turn away now.

Roll the spoilers.

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Even though I didn't really like it, there was still some vintage Friends stuff in this episode:

* The twist with the twins was good, because there is no "uncomfortable" like "Chandler uncomfortable."

* Joey's housewarming present of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. was a nice touch. Phoebe's subsequent macabre comment to Joey about Chandler taking the original Chick and Duck to a farm gave me a childhood flashback.

* Gunther told Rachel he loves her. Finally.

* Rachel's ruckus on the plane was funny. There's nothing like a broken filangee to ruin a flight.

* Monica paying the movers to ensure the big ceramic dog "accidentally" falls off the truck was a hoot.

There was also some dreck:

* Phoebe drifting into song like she was in some half-assed musical was lame. The second time it happened it almost looked like even Lisa Kudrow thought it was goofy.

* Ross not being able to make up his mind about whether he should tell Rachel how he feels. It's no wonder I enjoy watching David Schwimmer get offed on NYPD Blue.

The sentimental ending was a letdown, mainly because it was so damn predictable. We knew there was no wedding, because everyone said so and it's become cliche. But you just knew Rachel was going to walk through the door while Ross was screaming at his answering machine — and, POOF, there she was.

Did I mention that I don't like Ross?

Anyway, the show's done. It wasn't as good as most have made it out to be, but it was well written and very funny at times. Here's hoping the success continues when Joey premieres in the fall.

Lord knows we need someone to put up a fight against the reality beast.