The Duke On The St. Francisville Experiment

Written by Duke De Mondo
Published May 02, 2004

The Duke On The St. Francisville Experiment

24 hours ago, The Duke set out into the woods of Maryland to review a ghost film.

One night later, his scribblings were found...

A lot of folks didn't like The Blair Witch Project. Some folks got all smart arse and yacked about "Is that it?" and "Come on, what a pile of shit that fucking shitty pile was". These folks, incidentally, are the ones you see complaining about how films are so formulaic nowadays, and there's no imagination, and yadda yadda cock. The reason they didn't like The Blair Witch Project, it transpires, is because you didn't see the witch.

You can see how, what with them being all in favour of the new approaches to cinema and all, they would be upset that this one didn't do exactly what they expected it to do, didn't conform and such. You can see how that would really upset the hell out of them.

Anyways, sensible folks like The Duke, they realized The Blair Witch Project was one of those "important" things. One of those once-in-a-generation motherfuckers that just defy all logic. It was a film shot on camcorder, and yet went around breaking records left and right. It was a film with no stars, and yet folks were out of their mind with anticipation. It was a film with no marketing budget that still managed to spread the word via the web-net so that by the time it eventually appeared, every motherfucker and their dead and buried ancestors knew about this here flick what was real, don't you know, and they all died.

Ghosts are real man. About a week after I saw Blair Witch I saw one of those three on at least a dozen chat-shows. They were there, man, sitting right beside the presenter. True fucking story.

So what happened was plenty of other folks realized this whole Blair Witch carry-on was something worth imitating. Before you knew it, festivals were awash with folks screening their film about these fellas and a girl or two what went to investigate the woods / the haunted house / the abandoned village / some fucking boat or something, and how they all died.

These folks aren't actors, man, they would tell us. Just to prove it, we would check the credits, and right there we could see that these folks really were called Heather and Josh and stuff. It's right there in the credits, man, we would say, poking our shoulders into people's ribs. Look! Right below the bit about the guy who wrote and plotted and all that, and the bloke who came up with the dialogue, right there it tells you how real this shit is.

So last night, The Duke sat down for to watch a film by the name of The St. Francisville Experiment, one of these Honest-To-God-It-Really-Happened type affairs. Straight away, I know a few things about this flick. I know it's set in St. Francisville, and there's gonna be some experiment or other conducted. Maybe they're gonna see if gopher's can interact on a psychic level with fish. Maybe they'll float some kites to test the electrical currents of a puddle or something. Who knows?

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The Duke (Aaron McMullan to his parents and the clergy) is a Northern Irish writer, performer and insomniac currently residing in London. He is the creator of Mondo Irlando, wherein his scribblings and hollerings can be found. He is currently working towards the completion of his first novel, and his debut "punk / country / folk / whatever" album has recently been released by Ex Libris Records . You can also pop by His MySpace Page and maybe have a coffee and a biscuit.
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The Duke On The St. Francisville Experiment
Published: May 02, 2004
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Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Documentary, Video: Fantasy, Video: Horror, Video: Suspense and Mystery
Writer: Duke De Mondo
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Comments

#1 — May 1, 2004 @ 22:33PM — S.E. [URL]

I recently saw Cannibal Holocaust for the first time at a special midnight screening. Great, gory stuff. Glad to see you mention it. And to see that you agree that it's superior to Blair Witch.

#2 — May 1, 2004 @ 22:50PM — Tom Johnson [URL]

Cannibal Holocaust is a real movie? Here I thought the Duke was being creative and using his special "what the movie should have been called" powers on a film I can't quite place, but thought maybe was supposed to be 28 Days Later. You learn new things every day.

#3 — May 1, 2004 @ 23:01PM — HW Saxton Jr.

Abel Ferrera, you say? Is a review of
"Ms.44" to be forthcoming soon ???

#4 — May 1, 2004 @ 23:12PM — HW Saxton Jr.

er,umm,uh "Ms 45" that is.....

#5 — May 1, 2004 @ 23:27PM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

Thanks all! Here The Duke just came down for a half four in the AM cigarette and finds all these nice words and so on. Mrs 45 Review? You never know. Tom, C.H is indeed a real flick, and has nothing to do with The Cannibals What Ate London. As to S.E, good to see a convert to the old C.H. U might enjoy my earlier posting entitled "Why Cannibal Holocaust Is A Damn Masterpiece". You'll find it under where it says "see all posts by the duke de mondo" up at the very top.

#6 — May 3, 2004 @ 10:34AM — Chris Kent

When I need a laugh, I read El Senor Duke. Nice job as usual, and I love any post that references Marlon Brando's funky turn in Superman. But wait, The Duke also references Ferrara! It just don't get any better than that!

Another Cannibal Holocaust convert.....jeepers creepers, what's this world coming to?!

I'm with you on Blair Witch Project, a film that scared the wholly living crap out of me, that would be me.....

I have not seen The St. Francisville Experiment, though truth be told, I did indeed have the little valentine in my hand walking towards the counter before deciding on When We Were Soldiers, Killer Condom or some such shit.

I can see I now made a mistake! I have heard great things about Last Broadcast and shall now rent it this weekend......thanks for jogging my memory dear sir!

#7 — May 3, 2004 @ 10:50AM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

Chris, a pleasure to hear from you as ever! Indeed, what are we going to do with all these Cannibal converts! Is Alcatraz still going? Anyhow, with regards your rental of The Experiment What Went Down In St. Francisville, be warned it may not be to your tastes. There are times when the acting is truly below-amateur, and nowhere near as convincing as those three in the tent. But if you take it on face value, ie, a very low budget attempt to do some scares the old fashioned way, then you might find yourself being won over by its silly charms. Not Lucky Charms, incidentally, like Nicolaou is more accustomed to. As for Last Broadcast, it is indeed worth renting, but i was very dissapointed by the ending. I'm sure you'll se what i mean. Say no more, say no more, nudge nudge etc

#8 — March 7, 2007 @ 05:26AM — Mark Louis Baumgart

So true, so true. St. Francisville does indeed resemble The Last Broadcast, a movie which was ripped off again by the movie American Crime, or American Murder, or something like that just recently. The Last Broadcast seemed to write itself into a corner. "Wait, we have to end the movie, what do we do?" "I dunno, just tack something on." Very dissapointing. The Last Broadcast should be seen by more people.

So it goes. St. Francisville however was just dull. As a Yank, I saw an awfully lot of these damn things cluttering up the video stores, it really didn't stand out. Glad you liked it though, the making of it probably kept a few people off of the dole for a few weeks.

As far as Ms. 44 goes, great flick, though the ending kinda sort rips-off Carrie. R. I. P. Zoe Tamerlis who died way too young.

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