The film starts in a manner similar to Jeepers Creepers, so much so in fact that were one to indulge in the satanic practices of file sharing, one would assume they had downloaded a copy of said film dubbed into French. Two students in a car, bickering and making jokes about the sexing, and then they're on a highway, which is lonely, as is a highway's wont, and next thing you know there's corn-fields as far as the eye can see.

But just so you don't start thinking, holy shit, this is just like that film by the fellow what did Clownhouse, we get to see a man getting a blow-job from a severed head.

Did Jeepers Creepers get a blow job from a severed head? Not as far as The Duke can recall, unless those shenanigans in the police station were so fucking frightening that it has caused me to forget all about the blow-jobs with severed heads.

Thankfully, there's very little to distract you elsewhere in The Impossible Tensions, and so the necrophilia stays in the mind for a time.

It turns out these two kids who are in the car are both heading out to the house of the one with black hair, so as they can study in peace, what with it being in the country and so on, and really, it would take something extravagant like a bloke decapitating your dad with a side dresser to really impose on the tranquillity.

This is actually quite nicely handled, this whole opening Salva, sorry, salvo. The old tensometer is fairly high by the time the blonde one goes to bed and starts fiddling with herself. The house creaks and groans and wind howls through the shutters and all that sort of stuff, and for a second you're pretty sure that this is going to turn into some kind of claustrophobic chill-fest on a par with The Haunting.

But The Haunting didn't get a blow-job from a severed head, although I'm sure Robert Wise would have gone for it in a second if that fascist Hay had permitted it.

So far so reasonable. And then the bloke we met a while ago arrives and starts killing folks like there's no tomorrow. This isn't really a spoiler, since after all, he was getting a blow job from a severed head five minutes ago. Where do you think he got that head? If he paid for it, he certainly wouldn't have thrown it out onto the side of the road like he did. That'd be totally ridiculous.