I, ME, MAC: The Gospel of Blog
Published April 09, 2004
The greatest thing that ever happened to me was getting my MAC, which started me on a long, fruitful career as a writer. Once my brain was plugged into the overall matrix (in the infancy days of the web), my life and that of the general, logged-on population across the planet would never be the same.
Recently, I received an email from one of my millions of readers who said that they had been talking to someone who had read a blog by another Blogcritic writer about how to write a blog.
That person had asked my reader to email me to ask why I always begin a blog entry by mentioning a request from a reader or mentioning a recent blog written by another Blogcritic.
"Because you don't have a decent opening paragraph," you say.
"No," I say, "*Au contraire, I got your attention didn't I?" Besides, I don't make mistakes — but enough about me.
* I also speak seven languages, but haven't had time in my busy schedule at the Stanford U., the Justice Department, and my donated time at the ACLU office in Bumfuque, Arkansas to translate my award-winning blog site yet.
Anyway, that got me thinking.
So I've decided to write about thinking about thinking about blog writing, especially the type of blog practiced by my close friend and mentor, Dr. B. Esser, Ph.D., of the Institute of Transcendental Blatherization.
I woke up this morning, put on my house shoes, had a bowl of Wheaties (which I've mentioned in an archived article at my blogsite here), and decided to write this (here).
In my opinion — and it is demonstrable using brilliant rhetoric, iron-clad logic, and laser-like research skills — Blogging has quickly evolved from a personal, daily "Dear Diary" to a supplement and extension of other news and commentary media.
From Dr. B. Esser's book: "Blogging began as a subjective, once-a-day personal journal, and rapidly developed into an accessory and annex to other news and commentary media."
Whereas blogs once focused exclusively on the boring and highly personal daily activities of distant, unknown writers (still approximately 99.9% of the overall blog population), blogs now serve to disperse and digest information, to bring together related but disparate news items that might otherwise have been lost in the background noise created by the constant flood of electronic media.
From The Age, Melbourne Australia: "Originally, blogs once addressed solely the dull and highly personal daily activities of distant, unknown diarists (approximately over 99% of the general blog population), blogs now serve to assimilate and distribute information, to bring together related but diverse news items that might otherwise have vanished in the background noise of the constant electronic deluge of media."
Nowadays, brilliant, fastidious, and garrulous writers like myself contribute much more than mindless personal journal entries or regurgitated news stories peppered with meaningless, simplistic, or overtly obvious observations. We add an additional dimension and context to what would normally be useless tidbits from the news media that have no bearing in larger realities.
- I, ME, MAC: The Gospel of Blog
- Published: April 09, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Sci/Tech
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Sci/Tech: Internet
- Writer: Shark
- Shark's BC Writer page
- Shark's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
dirtgrain, gimme some of that. Shark, shame on you, again, but you're sharp as a shark tooth... ah! I'm getting a picture now. I kept asking myself: why would a guy call himself... Shark? Because the Shark is Mac the Knife.
Shark is the alter blogger of Mac Diva. They are in fact one and the same person.
Examine their typing. It's true. I knew it. Mac Diva's a phony. And so is the Shark! Their both puppets. But who are the hands?
I'll just note that "Mac Diva" has described ME, AL BARGER as the "puppetmaster."
Ah, wheels within wheels, as Robert Anton Wilson would say.
MAC THE KNIFE
Oh the shark babe, has such teeth dear
And he shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has ol' MacDiva babe
And he keeps it out of sight
You know when that shark bites
With his teeth babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves though, wears ol' MacDiva babe
So there's never, never a trace of red
On the sidewalk, ooh Sunday morning uh-huh
Lies a body just oozing life, eek!
And someone's sneeking round the corner
Could that someone be Mac the Knife
There's a tugboat, down by the river don't you know
Where a cement bag's just drooping on down
Ooh that cement is just, it's there for the weight dear
Five will get you ten ol' Mackie's back in town
Now did you hear about Louie Miller
He disappeared babe
After drawing out, all his hard-earned cash
And now MacDiva spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy's done something rash
Now Jenny Diver, yeah Sukey Tawdry
Ooh Miss Lotte Lenia, and ol' Lucy Brown
Oh the line forms on the right babe
Now that Mackie's back in town
Moqtada Al-Barger? Interesting...
Shark-
Mostly asinine comments do incite vituperative arguments.
Joe,
Please feel free to:
1) post a non-asinine comment;
2) get the ol' vituperative arguments rolling
I'd love to play.
PS: I think most people are too scared. I know I am.
Hey, asininity is sort of my signature trait, so, no to number 1.
However, as I was telling my dear friend and protege, William S. Buckley, "I'm Rick James, bitch."
By the way, what do you think constitutes "breaking" a story?
I just read that and laughed out loud! It would be funny if it weren't so pathological.
For a parody of Sharks' parody, visit the McDrudge Report, oops, I mean "Revisiting Conservatives for Kerry" --where stories are BROKEN, and then get broken again and again.
BTW: I broke the story about Joe breaking the story!
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metablog = a blog about blogging
metametablog = a blog about blogging about blogging
metametametablog = a blog about blogging about blogging about blogging
metametametametablog. . . . HELP! I'm trapped between two mirrors. I'm driving on the surface of a mobius strip. I'm a recursive loop in the matrix of the blogosphere. I'm trapped in a thinking-about-blogging tesseract (hypercube), and I can't find my way out to a place where I can blog freely.
The unexamined blog is worth writing.