THE PERFECT GIFT FOR OSAMA BIN LADEN: He'd just love a copy of this new book, the Yiddish translation of the Cat in the Hat.

The late Dr. Suess, aka San Diego's own Theodor Seuss Geisel, wrote the book in English. The new version reads back to front which makes sense in Yiddish (and actually you should read back to front too if you're reading both political parties' campaign propaganda... it'd make about as much sense).

The books are done by a Manhattan couple as part of their home-publishing business - with a Yiddish translation of Dr. Seuss' "The Cat in the Hat," and it falls on the 100th anniversary of Suess' birth.

Only 113,000 New Yorkers speak Yiddish but so far Celeste Sollod and her husband Zackary Sholem Berger have done pretty well through their company, Twenty-Fourth Street Books. They say few customers know Yiddish words and buy this and other Yiddish books as novelties. Only about 20 percent actually speak the language.

And don't forget this: Dr. Seuss books must RHYME. To make it rhyme, Berger had to fudge some lines. But he still considers it a literal translation.

FOOTNOTE: The Moderate Voicegrew up on Dr. Suess, which is why he is so literally perfecccccctht, emotionally stable (DON'T YOU ARGUE WITH ME ON THAT!) and humorous (Nellie Rose sat on a tack; Nellie rose.) So he has come up with these original revised Dr. Seuss titles for Jewish audiences (he can do that with a name like "Gandelman")

1. Green Eggs and Lox
2. Horton Hears Barbra Streisand
4. Yertle the Girdle and Boy Has She Put On Weight
4 Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are To Be Eating Chinese Food
5. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Gefilte Fish
6. And To Think I Saw That At Loehman's on Mulberry Street
7. The Aching Back Book
8. The Cat In The Hat Comes Back For A Refund
9. If I Ran the Shul
10. Oh, the Places You'll Go In Branson