Why I Switched Parties
Published March 25, 2004
Yesterday I listened to NPR all day, the hearings, you know — all too much to absorb, plus I was in the car, I couldn't take notes, didn't have my recorder. Had the camera! No help.
Multi-tasking is bullshit. My mom used to call it doing everything at once. So I sat back and drove through the country. Nice. Hit 60 today. Gray day, misty. Wasn't Clarke terrific?
When I got back to the office I didn't feel like slogging through transcripts looking for applause lines, blogging on the big stuff. Besides, everybody else was doing it. So I decided to be a big picture guy. I took a nap.
When I awoke, I checked Blogcritics to see if I had any new comments to my last post. Yes, a few. Attached to my 600-word essay was the entire Republican briefing book, annotated. I'd made the mistake of being equanimous in spreading guilt around the various presidents who have dragged our country through their many misadventures, and I guess fellow blogger David Flanagan thought it was a barn door through which they could all escape.
It was wonderful! Like a party at my post! First time that's happened. And I really didn't have to do a thing, including participate.
Man, it was nice to be popular. I don't normally get a lot of comments. I mean, what's to say about the "Don't-Buy-It" diet? Come on!
So I walked around with a plate of cheeseballs and listened and wondered: What does one say to a Republican? "What kind of car you driving?" "Did your bonus come through?" "You ever played Oak Brook?"
Eventually something made me angry. I wrote some turgid prose, deleted it, wrote some more and backspaced through it, played solitaire, got depressed. Napped. Got over it.
Now I'm picking up where I left off. God, I love these hearings. It's such good clean fun to watch these big shot arrogant mothereffers get deloused by microwaves.
This stuff is every bit as thrilling as the Watergate Hearings and seems to be following a similar pattern: testimony unfolds, leaving in its wake newly minted heroes and villains. Either's and Or's.
- Why I Switched Parties
- Published: March 25, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Writer: CW Fisher
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- CW Fisher's personal site
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Thanks for giving me the clap, Tek, but I think commercial enterprise would be a huge mistake. No concessions should be made. I could see Disney and Six Flags and McDonald's and Pepsico all vying for position. Did you know that five years ago a McDonald's opened in Pompei within viewing distance of the ruins?
The more I think about this, the more I like it. Kick 'em all out. We need the parents to show up, like they did at the end of Risky Business and Lord of the Flies. Sometimes enough is enough. This qualifies.
Was it last year, the seige on Bethleham at Christmas? Made me sick. Remember that? Kick these jerks out. Time to go, says the world. How could they argue?
A friend asked me: Where would they go? I said: Scatter! None of our business. Just get out and figure it out yourselves. Israel's not that big. The world can absorb its population without a problem.
Great piece, Fisher. You're one of the best. (You ever get tired of me saying that?)
xxoo
Shark (who changes parties every five minutes -- Hey, I have *PDD!)
*Philosophical Deficit Disorder.
BEST LINES:
* testimony unfolds, leaving in its wake newly minted heroes and villains.
* Even though Condoleezza Rice hasn't testified in public, it's clear that Dr. Rice (just the fact she enjoys being called "Dr." is telling), is nothing less than an Executive Secretary whose job it is to protect the president from incorrect facts, inappropriate people and manners unbecoming.
* I see us heading for Lincoln's house divided.
* radical ideology: The element that is creating the most dangerous radicals quickest is the compound created by three parts politics and one part religion.
* Radicals... They cannot be dissuaded from strapping a bomb to their own waist even as their children cry mama don't.
(Whew!)
* This Promised Land... The three major religions who claim it holy defile it every day.
* If you're a domino with legs, you take a step to the left, you save the world. Get out of the way. Don't add to it.
*******************
~I am humbled by Your Majesty!~
OH STOP. STOOOOOP!
Hm. Looks like "stoop." Shark! Stooop!
Excellent Curt - good reading. I'm with Shark, lots of Best lines in this one!
Add your comment, speak your mind
(Or ping: http://blogcritics.org/mt/tb/14071)
*Claps*
You know... a few years ago when Clinton was in office and Israel and the Palestinians were playing "nicey-nicey" with each other, I came up with this great idea:
The Holy Land should be run by Americans. If it was run but true Americans, then we would run that place and everyone would come and we would be turning over a profit selling "Halal Big Macs" and "Mc Matzo Ball" Soup. We would know that keeping everyone safe and getting along would be the best way to make a profit from ALL parties involved.
Back then, I remember people thinking I was nuts, or being very sacrilegious. I think back then, I was on to something. To bad we didn't invade Israel as opposed to Iraq. We'd of had a Starbucks, Micky D's and Gap on every corner. Think of the the income and stock options!
Could you a imagine- An Old Navy that sold cheap burkas made in China or Thailand? Prayer rugs by Martha Stewart? Kosher K-mart? Maybe the Christian Cheesecake Factory?
Shame. =(