Operation Fancy Pants doesn't sound very menacing. In fact, it seems to imply that the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is going to penetrate deep into the enemy's rear and -wait, let me reword that... that they're going to parachute in behind enemy lines and give those nasty Huns a much needed fashion makeover.

I think it goes without saying Operation Quagmire wouldn't go over well with the public. If you're going to call it that, you might as well be completely honest and refer to it as Operation Hopeless Cause.

Operation Neverland Ranch might be enough to scare the hell out of the parents in the country being invaded, but it might also induce them to put up a bitter struggle. If I was told Michael Jackson planned on invading my home, I know I wouldn't simply roll over and play dead.

What about something called Operation Kamikaze? Hmm. Nah, probably not. It might work well in Japan, where people don't mind nose-diving their planes into the decks of enemy aircraft carriers, but I doubt the recruitment offices in this country would be flooded with volunteers.

I suppose the best thing to do would be to go back to the days of World War Two when the names of military operations didn't have hidden meanings. Or any meaning, really. They weren't used to gloss over the death and destruction. Most folks know all too well that war is hell and if it's for a good cause, you don't need to dazzle them with catchy names and snappy jingles.

The thing I fear most with all this modern day promotional propaganda is that they're going to make war seem no different than, say, the Super Bowl. But unlike in football, they don't just tackle you on a battlefield. They paint the streets with your blood and brains.