Next came the first Gulf War and this time they brought in a crack team of advertising executives to come up with a name they could sell: Operation Desert Shield. The name says it all. Where are we going? The desert. Why are we going there? To protect those poor Saudi camel herders and their oil fields. Now who on earth could have a problem with protecting those in need? We're just protecting them, after all; shielding them from the menacing Iraqi horde.

Once we got all our troops over there, the Pentagon figured we might as well put some of this high tech machinery through its paces. But once again, they had to sell the public on the idea. That's why they came up with the name Operation Desert Storm. We were going to liberate Kuwait! From behind the shield would suddenly be brandished a mighty sword and the beleaguered Kuwaitis would be set free at last. Surely no one would disapprove of such a noble cause, especially since it had a really cool name.

Now we have Operation Enduring Freedom. The world is besieged by homicidal, more often suicidal, terrorists and Uncle Sam isn't gonna turn the other cheek any longer. First stop, Afghanistan. And then it's off to finish the job in Iraq. And I can't think of a single person who wouldn't want freedom's bell to ring throughout the world.

I'm not saying that any of these conflicts were fought for all the wrong reasons. I just don't think it necessary, or proper, to give these operations a glitzy name in order to gloss over the bloody carnage that is sure to follow. It's the same kind of snow job cigarette companies try to pull over on the public. Their advertisements make smoking look cool, but they don't tell you about the horrors of lung cancer and emphysema. Look at the folks in their ads. They're having fun; living life to it's fullest potential! ...while they still can.

You'll never hear of something like Operation Playful Kitten or Operation Fluffy Bunny. You can threaten to launch all the B-52s you like, no one on the other side is going to take you seriously.