The year is 2005.

President George W. Bush opens a legal Pandora's Box by pushing through a Constitutional Amendment that allows for prayer at High School football games. Soon after — based on a case involving a Satan worshipper in Muleshoe, Texas — the Supreme Court rules that the practice of allowing only Fundamentalist Christian prayers is unconstitutional. Their opinion:

If schools accommodate one religion, they have to accommodate all.

EVENT: State Championship Game - Muleshoe Donkeys vs Gun Barrel City Fighting Snipers

TIME/PLACE: Friday Night, 7:30 P.M. - Ralph Reed Memorial Stadium

94 children stand in line behind a podium at the 50 yard line. One by one, they approach the microphone and whip out a 3 x 5 card.

Baptist kid: "Dear Heavenly Father, as we begin this game, please protect our warriors from injuries, help us to be good sports, and save the souls of those unfortunate enough to be of non-Christian minority religions. In Jesus name, Amen."

Catholic teen: "Oh Immaculate Virgin, Mary, Mother of God, protect our warriors from injuries, help us to be good sports, and save the souls of those intolerant of other's beliefs, especially those pesky, arrogant Southern Baptists. In the name of Mary, Mother of God and her Son, Jesus, and their good friend, Mel Gibson, Amen."

Similar benedictions continue for the next 6 hours.

2:00 A.M. - Various Protestant teens have completed their prayers, and after a short restroom break, the Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Jain, Voodoo, Santeria, and Wiccan contingents from the back of the line are finally allowed access to the P.A. system.

3:30 A.M. - The Santeria kid has the most theatrical prayer presentation, which includes the beheading of a live chicken over an impromptu fire on the 45 yard line.

4:00 A.M. - The Hindu child invokes Shiva,Vishnu, Devi, and 4,372 various other deities. The smell of incense wafts toward the Muleshoe Marching Band, and at least half a dozen stadium security guards suspect the percussion section of smoking marijuana.