Leah was next. She asked Ruben if he kept in contact with the other idolists. He said he had been trying to call Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken for a big tour, but they will not return his calls.

That's when the night came to life. In an instant, I heard it coming from a mile a way. It first sounded faint and then it got louder and LOUDER and LOUDER. "Hercules, Hercules." NOOOOOO WAAAAAYYYYYY! I knew my tarot cards could not have been all wrong. If you recall, I was thinking about him last night. Well, as you could imagine, I just about blew a gasket when Ricky ran onstage. Ricky then leaped into Ruben's arms and the two ran offstage to plan a tour of their own and live happily ever after.

Seacrest then tells us to dim all the lights. OOOOh. How Exciting! So, I flip the switch and get myself into melodrama mode.

George has his hand on his heart. Awwwww how precious!

Leah was wearing camouflage as if she came here to kick some ass tonight. You go GI Jane!

Elizabeth sat on the bleachers with her smirky grin. Did somebody forget to take her happy pill today?

Suzy, the Fiji Gypsy, is sitting silently while surrounded by incense and healing herbs. OHM! OHM!

J-Hud cannot erase the animated face off of her head. I mean, does this girl looks like a porcelain doll or what?

John Peter's head was spinning around and he started cussing out a priest. He then looked across the stage and projectile vomited all over Simon Cowell.

Katie Webber was bouncy as ever and came prepared to talk about hair secrets and groovy kick line routines.

Matthew (our support group contestant) tells America that he has a tick in his box. EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! I mean, they do have ointment for those kinds of situations!

RANDY'S CHOICE

Extra Extra! Seacrest tells us that good news is here for someone. Randy Jackson looks at the 8 hopefuls and tells us that his choice is Jennifer Hudson. J-Hud looked stunned. She shook her wiry head all over the place and started rolling all over the floor crying. She flailed about feverishly screaming, "wrap it up, flip it, rub it down."

GAWD - COULD THE OVERACTING GET ANY MORE RIDICULOUS? I need a doggy bag. Oh well, this girl did deserve it. She got up and sang her number again and nailed it like a pro. She is a true D-VAH - and don't you forget it either!

PAULA'S CHOICE

Paula kills us with some kindness tonight - SURPRISE! She tells us that she wishes she can pick all of the singers, but she is only one little retired pop-star. Paula then stood up and looked at Simon with total defiance. She screams out "Leah!"