Blogospherics: In favor of outcasts
Published March 11, 2004
Maybe that's my loner nature talking, maybe if I tried an extra bit harder it would have worked out. I felt their eyes on me, though, telling me that I wasn't pure enough, not butch enough, not radical enough to be among them. So I left. I never tried fitting in again. It's just not something I excel in. I still think it must be nice to be so accepted, so certain of who and what you are, but that's not me. I'm not a "group" person. Don't we outcasts deserve love too?
I am not homosexual or bisexual, but I am 'marginal' in enough ways to know it. Like Anne, I have never done well in cliques. Usually, there will be some stance or requirement I find ridiculous and I will say so. The number one rule in groups is to conform to groupthink. So, saying something as unremarkable as 'I think Jesse Jackson is much too egotistical' or 'We don't know why people are gay, yet' is enough to kindle controversy. The 'in' people, insecure sorts who derive their identity from belonging to the group, will turn the most innocuous disagreement into a conflagration. In fact they are often waiting for someone to say or do something they can find fault with so they can act as enforcers. That is how they maintain their sense of status. I'll pass on them and their nonsense, thank you. The only groups I've been a longterm member of are writers' organizations and a legal fraternity. I've quit so many it is hard to remember them all. For example, the hypocrisy of members of the National Lawyers Guild turned me off while I was still a student. Too many of the members of the chapter I knew were small-minded, bigoted people who pretended to be 'progressives.' One of the privileges they felt they had been born with was bossing people of color around. They mistook wearing Birkenstocks for doing something to improve society. I often see that same phoniness in activities of such people today.
But, that is not the full story. Like one of my idols, writer Alice Walker, I have a bit of the actress in my personality. Sometimes, I play popular girl. I was considered part of the charmed circle in both high school and college when I sought that distinction out. (Walker was homecoming queen, believe it or not.) Being showered with accolades was fun . . . for a while. What I learned from that experience was how the minds of the group directed work. However, I was not impressed. Like, another writer idol, Joyce Carol Oates, I could hardly wait to get away from those people. (She sued to be released from her college sorority.) The shallowness. The self-importance of the people involved. The meanspiritedness toward anyone not in the group. There is not much to recommend cliques in my opinion. So, I believe Anne has made the right decision in not pursuing acceptance by groups. If she had, I think the disappointments would have continued. Not just because they would not have liked her. Mainly because she would not have liked them.
- Blogospherics: In favor of outcasts
- Published: March 11, 2004
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- Section: Sci/Tech
- Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Internet
- Writer: Mac Diva
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Comments
I too am an introvert, so at least on that level I can really understand your viewpoint. What I find most difficult in being introverted is not the lack of being involved, it's the lack of understanding others have about introversion. I have taken the personality tests, official and otherwise, and always rank somewhere above 80% introversion, and most recently I was actually 100% (which, I guess, must mean I am living in a hole in order to get away from everyone.) But I find in public that people think I'm either mad all the time or snooty - because I tend to not talk much in groups, and have a tendency to seem lost in space. Being as introverted as I am, it's not a big deal to me - in general. I simply tend to skip group gatherings whenever possible - not just because I dislike them, but because I just don't care about mingling, etc. But when forced into them, I find that people think there's something wrong and that's why I'm not as jovial and talkative as the rest. Really, it's just that I get overwhelmed, as if I'm absorbing too much of everything (and that's essentially what happens for introverts, which is why social interactions tend to be exhausting.) But most of all, I really hate that people think I'm missing out on things - I assure you, I am not. In fact, I think extroverts are missing out on the intricate details of life because they're too busy to notice them. It takes both kinds of people, I suppose - were it a world filled with introverts, we'd all be at home looking for interesting patterns in tile flooring (which, I am almost ashamed to admit, I do all the time.)
Nice piece, MD. It really got me thinking on a very slow Thursday . . .
yep, the lack of understanding of what introversion is all about is truly scary.
i've seen responses to posts and/or articles about introvts...and they're just plain nasty.
ranging from: "get over it" to "it's a disease". cripes.
Yes, very interesting. I am not fundamentally an introvert, I am happiest when performing (in the broadest sense), but that doesn't mean I don't have times of introversion, and I absolutely need a lot of time to myself. I've never been a deep joiner: I've always been in but not of all kinds of groups, and my lack of deep commitment to a specific group ethos has sometimes cast suspicion upon me: "I'll hang out with you, but I don't need you," is my general attitude toward groups. But I don't have contempt for them either. We all have to make our own way in the final analysis.
Eric, I hope you work it out. I would say you're bitroverted.
M'Diva, I relate to it all except the parts where you claim to be an introvert. An argument could be made to the exact opposite. Is it possible you are both? Or does this blow your piece to smithereens? Have you read my post today? It's about the same thing. Same exact thing, except that yours is twice as long and has comments. So what are you up to later? We should, you know, hang. ...comments?
CW: "An argument could be made to the exact opposite. Is it possible you are both? Or does this blow your piece to smithereens?"
I'm amazed it took so long for anyone to point it out. I would have done it earlier, but I'm trying to be a nice guy.
Did you notice that along with being an introvert who can't stand to be out of the limelight, she's also an actress and a lawyer?
And I'm also amazed at the level of blather that passes for intellectual analysis:
"A question begs to be asked: Can people who are already marginalized as members of minority groups afford to be individualistic?"
This is "interesting" and "thought provoking"...? So who's your favorite philosopher, Dr. Laura?
It's another EXTROVERT'S laughable attempt to be profound, put when parsed, says exactly NOTHING using a lot of words.
It's another EXTROVERT'S laughable attempt to be profound, put when parsed, says exactly NOTHING using a lot of words.
No, actually it's not. Introverts tend to speak very loudly and boldly in situations where they are not face-to-face with others. The online world is filled with introverts who speak out on everything, but meeting them in person you find a wholly different person. It's part of the personality. The online world isn't a social situation to me - I'm not surrounded by people and distracting things, and so I can take my time to form responses. It doesn't surprise me that MD's an introvert at all, in fact. From what I've seen, some of the most outspoken writers tend to be more introverted. Conversely, and this is not intended to be an insult - just an observation, most of the very extroverted people tend to not write so clearly, which also goes along with the personality because they'd rather be out talking to others, as they feed off of the attention. (I have several very extroverted friends upon whom I base my observation - talking to them, you will get great advice and have great conversations, but in letters and email they can barely communicate their thoughts.)
Tom is absolutely right: the Internet changes everything. I think it must be based in the absence of physicality. Physically forceful people (size isn't necessarily a factor) become used to relying on their physical presence to convey much of their meaning and to support the expression of their personality. That is totally irrelevant and unavailable on the Internet (until we really get into the photo/video part of it) so words alone must be used to convey all of the above, so would work in favor of the introvert "blossoming" into a more forceful and expansive personality on the Internet.
Sharky, here's something to ponder: just because Mac Diva wrote doesn't mean it is wrong, insane, or pointless. That might be an interesting corner to turn, no?
Eric, MacD consistently writes piffle disguised as profundities. I don't care who she is, she types more and says less than anybody I've ever read.
I'm not impressed with her 'analytic' abilities. It's high school level philosophical musings. When she leaves out the 'news' stories dotted with her commentaries, her 'essays' have all the intellectual meat of a slab of tofu.
I call 'em as I see 'em.
And, Psycho Shark sees them through the delusions of deep, untreated mental illness. And, jealousy. He might as well post in green.
Curt, I think the appearance of being outgoing is usually an act for me. Yes, I will chat with everyone from the grocery clerk to colleagues. But, I would rather be curled up somewhere reading a good book. And, I tend to budget sociability. If I talk to Jack and Jane at Starbucks, I will probably put on the headphones and not say a word to Mary and Matt. Not because I am angry with them or dislike them. I will just have done my quota of sociability for the day. Later, that week I will talk to them, but not have time for Jack and Jane.
I tend to chide Natalie when she makes dark pronouncements about human nature because I hate to see her become depressed. But, I believe she is right basically. People are not good. Oh, sometimes they can be led to behave better than their norm. But, overall, humans. . . please. So, my ambivalence is probably somewhat rooted in that core belief.
Also, note the writers cited as examples in the entry. I think that it may be necessary to hold people at a remove to be able to write about them realistically. It is no accident that so many writers of literary fiction are not merely introverts, but skeptics. Or that the hoi polloi often regards writers with a very wary eye. They have a suspicion we are going to let all kinds of cats out of all kinds of bags. And, they are right.
I think it was a bit brave of Mac to reveal anything about her inner self on this blog, where shes is constantly attacked (and sometimes attacking:)).
I found this post interesting. Thanks for sharing.
I am a lot like Eric (but much nicer)in that I am an extrovert who likes to be alone a lot, but is very outgoing in social settings.
A bitrovert right?





Thought provoking and excellent.
I was going to list some examples from my own youth in which friends, myself, etc...were scorned by groups. But for me, this post requires contemplation rather than comment....