Miss Fiji has arrived for her big moment. Wait a minute????? Isn't this AMERICAN IDOL????? The last time I checked, Fiji was its own country!!!!!!!!! Oh well! I guess it is okay to let foreigners compete in our competition. After all, the rest of the contestants sucked tonight. Miss Suzy's last name is hard to pronounce, but it sounded like "Bull Caca." Trust me - it just rolls off of your tongue!

Thankfully, she did not sing Whitney. However, she sure looked like an imitation. She was "ALRIGHT." That is all I can say really. She did not wow my socks off. In fact, she sounded like the singers we hear while shopping at the grocery store. She held her notes, but she failed to carry them. CLEAN UP IN AISLE NINE!

Randy said you were really good. Paula said you were perfect. Simon said you were forgettable. I say you were good enough to purchase because the rest of the store was full of generics tonight. Nevertheless, I am keeping my receipt cuz you won't last in the finals.

1. THE GIRL IN THE COKE COMMERCIAL - "Coke Commercial Song"

Nobody was as good as the girl in the Coke commercial tonight. Therefore, I am mailing my vote in for her!

My Take:

What a dreary evening. Is it me or are you people getting scared too?

I think Jasmine will be one of the top two. I think Heather will move onward as well. America is just too deaf, dumb, and blind to get this one right. Heck - I can hardly figure out which one was the best of the lot - and I live for this silly show.

SIGH - If only Sara Logan and that Scooter Creep would have been here. Only if!

CU TOMORROW NIGHT!

The Raging Critic has spoken!