The 2004 Oscar Diary
Published March 01, 2004
9:24: Crystal thanks the troops, then Tom Hanks comes out to "Hail to the Chief" - why, he's not the president? Ah, they're paying tribute to Bob Hope. Hanks says Hope hosted the Oscars 18 times, without making a joke about the "18 timers club." For some reason, the Hope montage - consisting entirely of I've-never-won-an-Oscar jokes - is scored with the Forrest Gump theme.
9:32: Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson present Best Live Action Short; I claim no expertise about these as I've never heard of any of them. But whaddya know - I guessed Two Soldiers, and I was right! 6-for-6 now; I really should've entered an Oscar pool.
Best Animated Short is Harvie Krumpet - also a correct guess! - 7-for-7!
9:38: Liv Tyler looks good - I like the geek-with-glasses look, really fits with the whole LOTR thing.
Remember when Sting was cool? He's veering ever-so-closer to Michael Bolton territory every year. Still, I like this "Scarlet Tide" song. Not enough to actually see Cold Mountain, but nevertheless.
9:58: LOTR wins best visual effects - that's three, and I'm 8-for-8. Besides, the most special effect in Pirates of the Caribbean was Kiera Knightley.
10:01: I thought I heard something about separate scientific and technical awards that were given out two weeks ago, but I'm not sure; I'm still staring at Jennifer Garner. Even so, they forgot to show the winners' names.
10:03: Jim Carrey comes out speaking gibberish (or is it Aramaic?) before paying tribute to Blake Edwards. What's that he's saying about his sister having sex?
After a montage, Edwards speeds past Carrey in a wheelchair before crashing into a wall. What the hell was that about?
10:15: Here comes Bill Murray to introduce Lost in Translation. If Murray wins, he'll be the first cast member from Saturday Night Live to win an Oscar. Well, guess it was between him and Jimmy Fallon. When Murray mentions that Sofia Coppola is the first American woman nominated for Best Director, the camera cuts to Jodie Foster ... a female director who has not been nominated for Best Director. Ouch.
At least they use the "It's Suntori Time" clip. Though the hooker thing might've been better.
10:18: Scarlett Johansson introduces Best Makeup- and its LOTR! That's four, and I'm 9-for-9.
10:21: Time for Sound Design: LOTR. Five; 10 for 10. LOTR is not nominated for Sound Editing for some reason, and it's won by ... Master and Commander! I'm 11 for 11!
10:27: Here's the extremely loathsome Julia Roberts, paying tribute to Katherine Hepburn. At least she's not saying "I love my life - I got to meet Katherine Hepburn."
Sadly, I think it's possible the only Katherine Hepburn movie I've seen is The Lion in Winter.
10:39: My lord, Diane Lane is hot. And she and John Cusack are presently the documentary awards. I also correctly guessed Chernobyl Heart for Documentary Short - 12 for 12!
- The 2004 Oscar Diary
- Published: March 01, 2004
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- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Video: News, Video: Television
- Writer: Stephen Silver
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Comments on this articleComments
Good, there will be no nerd riots this year.
Hurray for LOTR!
Thanks Steve, we needed this.
A few thoughts: Billy Crystal was a good host and kept things very loose, but he looks like shit - he's fat and his face is falling apart.
LOTR swept as recognition of the series as a whole: coordinating such a momumental task and having it hang together at worst, and be inspired for long stretches (though not much in TROTK) is something all of Hollywood can appreciate and marvel at. That and the popularity.
I agree the Mighty Wind tune was both a dead-on parody and a great song - very Spinal Tap in its ability to do both.
I want to see Lost in Translation and A Mighty Wind - DVD purchases await.
The broadcast was entertaining although not very exciting with the LOTR juggernaut.
The running joke of the evening was all of the LOTR winners thanking New Zealanders, where there are more sheep than people.
The clothing was very traditional and elegant - it looks like Joan Rivers really has had an effect.
I thought the song from A Mighty Wind was good, but I am a sucker for Annie Lennox. I really love pretty much anything she does.
Although I was critical of Billy Crystal he really did pull it off.
Also, Jack Black and Will Ferrell were a complete riot with their song parody of the bump music when speeches go on too long. I was really surprised that they did that at one of the more uptight events of the year.
I discussed my thoughts on LOTR here
Basically I didn't play Magic: The Gathering, and I actually had a prom date, so I didn't get LOTR.
Enjoyed your rundown v. much. I agree that t was a bit weird of Bill to recycle old SNL material.
But I believe Elvis Costello and T-Bone Burnett wrote Scarlett Tide. Sting wrote the _other_ Cold Mountain song -- "My Ain True LOve". Allison Krauss sang both so fabulously.
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Mitch and Mickey and "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" were ROBBED!
I'd like to SMACK the academy for giving the best song award to that crappy Annie Lennox thing. It was the worst excuse for a song all night. Just anything attached to LOTR got the nod. Hell, I'd give an Oscar to Billy Crystal's parody of Ol' Man River before that.