Bush unleashes Writers of Mass Destruction

Written by CW Fisher
Published February 24, 2004

CW FISHER

President Bush needed a win. Kerry's knack of showing up for appointments was making him look bad. Having blown his State of the Union address, followed by a second chance on NBC's "Meet the Press" which he also blew, George simply had no choice as the Democrats continued to heat up.

He desperately needed to connect with an audience — a professional audience of people willing to put their careers on the line, who could stand up, sit down, clap clap clap, who know a good joke when the president tells it and can laugh hard enough to cough up last night's pretzels, so popular around Washington these days in mashed form, a trend attributed to First Facilitator Laura.

Bush found that audience and blew 'em away. Facing a choice to blow or be blown, he didn't hesitate to get the audience on its knees.

According to the New York Times, without using Kerry's name, the president mocked him as a politician whose positions changed with the wind. The Democratic field, Mr. Bush said, is "for tax cuts and against them. For Nafta and against Nafta. For the Patriot Act and against the Patriot Act. In favor of liberating Iraq and opposed to it. And that's just one senator from Massachusetts."

Wow. Go writers.

"It's a choice between keeping the tax relief that is moving the economy forward, or putting the burden of higher taxes back on the American people," Mr. Bush said. "It's a choice between an America that leads the world with strength and confidence, or an America that is uncertain in the face of danger."

Heavens to Betsy, the choice is clear. The election is over. We can all go home.

All this time the answer to all his troubles had been right down the hall, down the stairs, behind the furnace, under the thick metal plate. His Writers of Mass Destruction were groggy at first, having spent a few years in chains, but they were happy to help, and none of them bit the physician who checked their mouths for "cyanide capsules," as one of them joked before appearing in a local park as a corpse due to unrelated self-inflicted injuries. The White House, in a statement, said the "escaped" speech writer, whose name also escaped them, was called by those who knew him best "probably the fastest typer ever."

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Bush unleashes Writers of Mass Destruction
Published: February 24, 2004
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Section: Politics
Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire
Writer: CW Fisher
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#1 — February 24, 2004 @ 18:19PM — Hal Pawluk [URL]

Careful, he may use some of your material :-)

#2 — February 25, 2004 @ 10:21AM — Pete

Barer of the same bones

Though it may seem with the naked eye that Senator John Kerry and President George W. Bush couldn't be more opposite. Senator Kerry an upstanding military war hero that served his country valiantly in Vietnam. President Bush, son of George Herbert Walker Bush, Served his country in the Texas Air National Guard never seeing combat. Senator Kerry seemed to have worked and clawed his way to the top of the political arena on hard work and integrity. George W. seemed to have ascended to his current position based on pedigree rather than college degree. Putting all things in the open and these two candidates would seem to be the perfect opposites to make for a really interesting political race of good vs. bad (I'll let you choose which is which). But after a closer look it seems that these political adversaries may me closer in common than meets the eye. What I am saying is that George W. and Senator Kerry both went and graduated from Yale University. Both just happen to be members of an exclusive super elite fraternity called the Order of the Skull and Bones. So answer me this. If you have two people from the opposite ends of the spectrum pledging allegiance to the same Order truly when its all said and done how different are the views really going to be. Will we the people honestly get a president that is making policy based on the greater good of the citizens or a president that is making policy based on a sworn oath of brotherhood? Now how come these facts were not disclosed as public knowledge? These are the facts that we the people should be entitled to. Facts like these may have prevented us from allowing George W. to bring along such a cunning and crooked running mate like Chaney in the 2000 election.

http://www.wealth4freedom.com/truth/3/skullroster.htm

Skull and bones Roster

#3 — February 25, 2004 @ 10:34AM — Shark

re. Skull & Bones membership:

George W. Bush has the advantage there; he joined for the keg parties---and like school, rarely paid attention during the 'lectures'. He had no idea what he was 'swearing to'.

What bothers me is that one can't join Skull & Bones without first having oral sex with every senior member.

Bush: "...but I didn't inhale!"


#4 — February 25, 2004 @ 10:36AM — Eric Olsen

skull and bones: we all have them

#5 — February 25, 2004 @ 13:11PM — CW Fisher [URL]

Pete, interesting thoughts, thanks. By nature I'm suspicious of all club joiners, but the S&B are scarier than the Masons, mainly because we know mor about the Masons. I think we should be wary of Kerry because of this. And Shark, I did not know about this requirement to "bone the skull" so to speak, but it makes sense. Why else would they keep it secret?

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