Fantasia slaps Kelly's face off and revives a little Hubba Bubba numbah! She did her Bonnie Raitt tune again and I reach for the earplugs. I still cannot figure out what it is I like about her. Maybe I have turned into a masochist?????? Enquiring minds (namely all 37 contained within my own twisted head) want to know!!!!

Finally, we come back from a commercial and Seacrest delivers the moment of truth. Is R. Kelly going to have a new video collection to add to his home library or are the 1 million teenage girls going to glue themselves to the television this year?

And the luckiest person in the world for right now is...........

Diana DeGarmo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooohoooooo! She jumped onto Michael and the poor guy blew a gasket. I think Fantasia's dress started to rise and she quickly hid herself behind her co-captain.

So there you have it folks. Fantasia and Diana DeGarmo have made their debut in America. As the show came to a close, the contestants started dancing like Milli Vanilli as Diana gave another rendition of her song. Unfortunately, she missed the last few notes - IN A MAJOR WAY! Luckily for Fantasia, the screeching in Diana's voice knocked out the audience and she snuck away. She scurried off to the Coke red room and handed Marque's mom an ice pack. She then turned left and made a mad dash to the bathroom. She ran to the urinal and lifted up her dress and then that river started to flow. But tonight it was not the Hudson folks. Miss Fantasia needed to pee, and she did it standing up!

She looked up for the last camera shot of the evening and said, BOY - WHAT A RELIEF!

Now that's givin' us somethin' to talk about!

CU NEXT TUESDAY!

The Raging Critic has spoken!