On Wednesday night, Joe Scarborough devoted his entire hour on MSNBC to the Janet story. Among others, he welcomed the smooth stylings and nonsensical ramblings of Dr. Laura and MTV's former in-house shrink, Dr. Drew Pinsky. These people who have done such massive and irreparable damage to the American thought process actually have the nerve to make a big deal out of the desecration of a halftime show. We really have lost our minds.

And why do you think the cable newsies and entertainment hypocrites spent so much time covering this story? For the same exact reason that Double J shook her booty in Houston. Ratings. At least she admits what she's selling.

You know, a couple times during part of the conservative coverage I could have sworn I saw signs of some very intense excitement on Scarborough's person. Later he explained away those moments by saying that he fell victim to a zipper malfunction.

The biggest loser in an this? By far, Paris Hilton. There had to be a moment within hours after the Jackson incident when she said to herself, "Holy crap, you mean I didn't even have to go all the way?"

Wait a second. What about all the people who doled out cash to watch the Lingerie Bowl during halftime and then ended up missing all this? Now that's funny.

Speaking of offensive, we shouldn't let the halftime show overshadow the horrors we witnessed during pre-game. Old bands, old songs. Is Aerosmith really still performing live? The pre-game performance finally gave an answer to an age-old rock 'n roll riddle. Is there any downside if your drummer lives?

Give Howard Dean this much. If Janet had been raised in his state of Vermont, I'm pretty sure that Medicare would cover mental health-related costs for the entire Jackson clan.

Let's not get so caught up in this meaningless little moment in time that we fail to absorb the real lesson of that magical Sunday: America loves Beyonce.

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