By this version, Icey and Walt Spoon- the sexually frustrated meddling biddy from hell with the gelded husband- become just the nice, helpful old couple who run the ice cream store. No talk about her canning, no boiling fudge, or sour grapes explanation about the proper womanly attitude towards sex.

Instead of days and nights on the river in a cool rickety skiff, we get half an hour in a common rowboat. The 1955 Mitchum movie was set in the depression, with cool old cars and groovy stuff coming out of that. There's no trailing the children on a horse, just a dumb boring car.

Powell himself gets all kinds of watered down. Now, I missed the first part, but I didn't see even ONE clear religious reference. He was still nominally a preacher, but I saw no crazy conversations with God. No killing a farmer for a horse to chase the kids on. The violence was toned down- his body count looked to be way down. He didn't even show the famous LOVE/HATE tattos in the part I saw.

On top of which, they cast former heartthrob Dr Kildare (Richard Chamberlain) as Harry Powell. For that alone, the makers of this abomination should be horsewhipped. Granted, he probably ain't causing much throbbing a quarter century after his main claim to fame. Still, the dilapidated pretty boy ain't going to take the place of Robert Mitchum by any stretch of the imagination- even if the original brilliant script hadn't been destroyed.

Not surprisingly, this nonsense version isn't available on video. Fortunately, however, the classic is. Why don't you own a copy?

OK, blood pressure dropping. I feel better now. Thanks.