"Bennifer" History
Published January 23, 2004
BAffleck and JLo have split - thank God. Some celebrity couples bring out the best in each other and seem to complement each other's strengths: going way back you had George Burns and Gracie Allen, more recently Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, and right now Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey seem to be doing much better together than they would be apart. Can you picture either of them having their own reality show or hosting Saturday Night Live as individuals? I'd never even heard of Nick Lachey before they got married, and Jessica was a second-tier pop bimbo. Now I kind of like them.
But Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were poison. Her crass hyper-ambition and diva airs made him look desperate and needy and lacking in self-confidence, as if he were under some kind of love spell. And rather than emphasizing her best self: the plucky Puerto Rican kid who rose from the barrio on talent, hard work, and determination, their relationship made her look like a manipulative, greedy bitch.
Plus, they never looked right as a physical match: he kind of soft and lumpy, she with the Aztec face, no chest and crazy wide ass. They both are pretty weird looking for supposed sex symbols if you ask me. They have also been poison for each other's careers, which for entertainers is the ultimate kiss of relationship death. Now they can go back to being themselves, or something:
- Hollywood golden couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have split up, Lopez's spokesman has said.
The announcement comes four months after Affleck, 31, and 34-year-old Lopez called off their marriage amid a worldwide media frenzy.
Lopez's New York-based publicist, Rob Shuter, said: "I am confirming the reports that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck."
Their two-year relationship had become the world's biggest celebrity romance.
....They had planned to marry at an exclusive resort near Santa Barbara, California, on 14 September, but cancelled the wedding just days beforehand blaming voracious media attention.
Some reports suggested that Lopez had moved to end the relationship after Affleck was spotted in a Canadian strip club last summer.
But after a week of separation they met up again at Affleck's $7m (£3.8m) estate near Savannah, Georgia, pursued by the paparazzi.
They had frequently been seen there since, but more rumours about their relationship surfaced after Affleck travelled to Europe alone to promote his latest film Paycheck.
He also appeared alone at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah in the US. [BBC]
- "Bennifer" History
- Published: January 23, 2004
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- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Video: News
- Writer: Eric Olsen
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Call me crazy (and I know a lot of you will) but I NEED to see Gigli. I read and heard all the reviews. I know just how bad it was supposed to be, but like a passer-by on a freeway wreck, I REALLY want to see just how bad this movie is.
Gawker's block: "nothing to see here, move along."
Yes, Natalie. Cinematic Rubbernecking. I love that. I will title my blog post that after I see the movie. I will attribute it to you of course.
Y'know I was wondering what happened with the Ben 'n' Jen Show. Was it cancelled because of low ratings? However, there was this in the Globe and Mail:
Now the former couple will appear on screen together again in "Jersey Girl," due out March 19. Lopez plays Affleck's wife, but she dies 12 minutes into the movie.
Since this was the movie where they met, and since Silent Bob is a prophet, the explaination is simple: it's all Kevin Smith's fault.
I feel really bad for Jennifer. See she made the cardinal sin that so many stupid celebrities make, she memorialized this relationship nightmare in stone with the song, "Dear Ben" but since I am so sweet and thoughtful, I have reworked the lyrics.
I JUST CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF
I CAN'T SEEM TO GET OVER MYSELF
IT SEEMS I'M DISGUSTED BY THE WAY YOU LIKE TO TOUCH ME
I HOPE YOU"LL UNDERSTAND
WHY I AM DUMPING YOUR LOSER ASS
FROM THE WORDS YOU SPEAK SO DEEP
YOU LIKE YOUR WOMAN SKANKY AND CHEAP
{CHORUS}
I LOVED YOU, BUT YOU'RE A DIRTBAG
YOU COULD HAVE HAD MY AMPLE ASS
AND ABOUT A MILLION DIFFERENT THINGS
BUT DIDDY HAS MORE MONEY
HE CAN BUY ME ANYTHING
I THINK GOD MADE YOU A LITTLE STUPID
A MIX OF SHITFORBRAINS AND INFIDELITY
BABY YOU'RE SO DUMPED
I WROTE THIS SONG TO LET YOU KNOW
THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE
TO ME, MY LATEST FUCK, MY PUBLICIST WILL CONTACT YOU, NO YOU AIN'T GETTING THAT RING BACK, AND THANKS FOR BUYING MY MOMMA THAT MERCEDES SUCKA
{CHORUS}
I LOVED YOU, BUT YOU'RE A DIRTBAG
YOU COULD HAVE HAD MY AMPLE ASS
AND ABOUT A MILLION DIFFERENT THINGS
BUT DIDDY HAS MORE MONEY
HE CAN BUY ME ANYTHING
YOU HAD TO KNOW I'D LEAVE
'CUZ IN REALITY
IT'S ALL ABOUT J.LO
YOU WERE LIVING IN A FANTASY.
Maybe Blogcritcs readers will appreciate my efforts a little more than the innocent bystanders who stumble on my blog each day.
Dig it, baby. That's so JLo!
Hey Thanks Eric.
I may not be Jessica Simpson, but I do know the difference between chicken and tuna. Just don't shut off the electricity, or I might not be able to get out of the house.
What made me laugh about the wire stories on the non-story were Jen's publicists asking reporters to respect her privacy.
J-Lo how can we miss you when you won't go away?
At least Ben can get back to some schweet luvin' from Damon.
I hate "Good Will Hunting," by the way.
You know who else doesn't like "Good Will Hunting?" Nazis.
Maybe it's because I lived in Boston, but I love that movie.
Well if I don't like GWH, and Nazis don't like GWH, then that must mean ...
You all really need to go to moviepoopshoot.com and watch "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back".
"Tiger Face!"
"Lemon Face, OOOOOO"
I am a complete nut for Kevin Smith movies. Incidentally, he had a production and editing credit on Good Will Hunting.
If I could pick 5 people to die in a plane Crash, the couple formerly known as Bennifer would take the top two spots on my list... followed by Vin Diesal, Christina Agu(whatever the f**k her name is!), and Paris Hilton!
I am a loser for even caring about these two. Let me state the obvious....
JLo go back to Diddy you guys work. You're both fucking self-impressed idiots. Ben you wrote "Good Will Hunting" and dated Gwenyth Paltrow. Now you have made a nightmare known as Gigli and dated a girl from "the block." Don't let your dumb stick get the best of you. Ding song Bennifer is dead...I am more excited than they were when they caught Saddam. Now for those of you that don't know, when they caught Saddam there was a picture of Bennifer on his wall to remind him of what was wrong and immoral in America. And thus 911 was Bennifers fault (not Britney!! Put that in your pipe Blender magazine and smoke it) P.S I have a weird burning sensation in my vagina! Anybody have some advice
Regarding your comment about Jennifer Lopez (a Puerto Rican) and her "Aztec" face: There are no Aztecs in Puerto Rico. Aztecs are Native Americans only found in Mexico.
Also, I don't see why someone who is part Native American (as Jennifer probably is, but not Aztec) can't be attractive. Are you a racist?
Don't get me wrong, I hate Jennifer Lopez for other reasons, but you should really do some research on Native Americans before making a stupid comment like that.
I wasn't referring to her ethnicity, but to thefact that her face looks "Aztec" - as exemplified by Aztec art, etc - to me. She could be martian, but her face happens to look "Aztec." Nothing pejorative about it at all.
I love you Jennifer NO MATTER WHAT!
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Our long national nightmare...is over.