Las Vegas. Where should I begin the story of my weekend in Las Vegas? I guess I will start by quelling a few questions from your minds. No. I did not go and see Celine Dion, French-Canadian queen of the universe (that revolves around her in her own mind) and Titanic bitch. Not only did I not go to see Danny Gans, I am still quite unsure who the hell this guy is. It seems to me that he should have become famous for something somewhere before getting a show singing in Vegas. Maybe it's just me though. As you can probably tell, I didn't go to see any shows. Also, despite all of your jokes and no matter how high my desire, I was unable to marry Britney Spears while I was there. I can tell you I wouldn't have signed the Pre-Nup and taken half her money and future earnings though.

I was in Vegas with my dad and my brother. We did a lot of gambling (dad and I) and drinking (Brother and I). Somewhere in the middle we walked around to see some things and eat meals. We stayed at the Mirage home of Siegfried and Roy's White Tigers, which we did, in fact see in a glass cage. I am not sure if it was Montecore, the tiger that tried to end the show where the not-so-ambiguously gay duo make tigers perform and make stuff disappear, but it was really cool to see anyway.

I played in a Hold'em tournament where I sat with a bunch of guys in sunglasses who proceeded to take my money and humble me completely and totally. I thought I was pretty smart about the game, and I still feel like I know what I am talking about, but it is a little different when you finally sit down and play in the tournament. It's kind of like if I studied how to be an NFL linebacker for 6 months. I might know exactly what to do in every situation, but when I walked on the field the knowledge just slips out of your mind because you are afraid a 400-pound lineman might fall on you. Maybe that is stretching it a bit, but needless to say I was overmatched. Still, I am happy I sat down and tried.