The only thing that makes this movie bearable is the exceptional cast. Jude Law reprises his war-weary soldier from Enemy At The Gates (Where have I seen this before?). Nicole Kidman, is, well, beautiful. Donald Sutherland is always a treat, as is Hoffman. Jack White even does nicely, as does the rest of the supporting cast. And when Zellweger appears a third of the way through the movie, she brings some comic relief that is sorely lacking up until that point.

Even this cast, though, couldn't make me care. Jude Law dies? Fine. He lives? Okay. I can see what's coming, so can we just get it done with so we can leave? And after I leave, what exactly am I supposed to take away from this movie? War is hell? Plenty of movies have told me that, better. Infatuation (can't really call it love) conquers all? Well, it still doesn't conquer cold hard lead. Saying "I marry you" three times results in a wedding? No, and it doesn't prevent an illegitimate kid.

Here's what I left this movie asking: what the heck was Tom Cruise thinking when he messed that one up? Nicole, call me.

Bobby Allison-Gallimore writes at The Rattler...when his tongue isn't frozen to the flagpole.