How 2003 Rocked My World
Published December 31, 2003
This year will soon pass, but what happened to me this year was unlike any other, leaving me with quite a few memories that truly rocked my world.
As 2003 began, I handled PR and publicity efforts for some very wonderful clients. Then January passed.
In February, my father, a very popular and well-loved city manager, locally, was found dead in the bathtub of his home. Police reports claim it's a suicide, but are later scrutinized by The St. Petersburg Times for shredding the earlier police report. Cities, among various other citizens, businesses and influential people throughout the Tampa Bay area pay their respects in different ways. The City of St. Petersburg unanimously passes a resolution honoring his life and his works (my step mother kept it, even though I really wanted it to have something to remember my father and his works by). A public funeral is held with more than 600 people attending. I memorialize my father with a poem I personally wrote, trembling as I read it, trying not to break down in tears. I become the person my family leans on for support. My grandmother continually asks me where my father is, causing me to continually re-live the horrible experience of losing him. Adrenaline gets me through it. I join the Florida Suicide Prevention Coalition hoping to get involved, but no one contacts me after joining.
In June I break down and seriously consider following in my father's footsteps by committing suicide. My mother calls police. A SWAT team arrives at my residence and breaks down the door (even though my hand was on the knob, about to open it). I am Baker Acted and taken to a mental health facility for a weekend. The place was so horrible that I personally vowed to never consider something as stupid as committing suicide ever again. I am released with a completely new outlook on life. I start seeing a counselor.
In August I sell a house that needs a new roof and has a pool that needs new marcite for asking price.
I "interview" Mary Carey for Blogcritics about her run for governor of California. I pitch the "interview" to A.M. Tampa Bay's producer and am given a full five-minute spot on the show. I use the radio appearance to publicize Mary Carey, Blogcritics and my real estate website. All websites receive increased traffic as a result.
- How 2003 Rocked My World
- Published: December 31, 2003
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- Section: Culture
- Writer: Mr. Real Estate
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Blessings, John. I too lost my dad in 2003. For me, last year was awful in many ways, but losing Dad was/is the worst. Our situations are similar in a way -- I was the point person for my family during his illness and after his death, and I also had the opportunity to eulogize him as part of his funeral Mass. My heart goes out to you for your loss; it pains me that your father died by his own hand. I pray that you will be able to find comfort and support. Sometimes people forget that those of us who provide a shoulder for others need one too... To this day, I can't rid my mind of the picture of my dad lying on a gurney after breathing his last... On Jan. 9, it will be four months; I still can't believe it and yet it is all too damnably real.
I wish you much love and peace and happiness in 2004. John, hold fast to the good memories of your very special father and of all you have accomplished. And keep up the good work re: suicide prevention -- it is so important. And thank you again for bringing Blogging for a Cure to life. That project touched my life more profoundly than you know.
And you know what? Your dad could be on an island with Kurt Cobain, Elvis, and JFK. It is certainly possible.
John, My deepest sympathies on the loss of your father. Hang tight to the memories, stay positive, and may 2004 uplift you. Anita
John, I hope 2004 and beyond are good for you. If your dad died by his own hand, one thing that may be important for you to realize is that just as someones happiness cannot depend on what another does or does not do, someones profound sorrow cannot even minimally be attributed to the actions or inactions of another. good luck
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John please accept my sincere sympathies regarding your Dad. I have lost both my parents and I understand what you are going through. Losing a parent is like none other and the only comparison that I can think of is it is like having your guts ripped out of you without any pain killer. The only comfort that I can give is in time the pain will subside and will be replaced by your fond memories of your Dad and he will continue to live in your heart. I respect your courage and positive attitude through it all and thanks for sharing this. Be good to yourself and take care. I wish you all the best in the coming New Year.