Ravers Effectively Speciating Into Extinction

Written by Crushkill
Published December 29, 2003

Much like the finch's speciation on the Galapagos Islands, the common raver is also speciating through a process deemed by scientists as "Chemical Selection."

Similar to Natural Selection, Chemical Selection is the result of constantly exposing the brain to certain psychotropic 'designer' drugs such as Ecstasy, MDMA and Ketamine.

Although Chemical Selection occurs much faster than other evolutionary adaptations, it can be compared to the evolution of pesticide resistance in insect populations; The insects with a chromosome containing the gene conferring resistance to insecticide effectively survives the pesticide spray, in the context of man-made chemicals causing an evolutionary reaction.

Many of the speciating traits are smaller brains, short attention spans, as well as loss of saliva, bladder and smile control.

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Ravers Effectively Speciating Into Extinction
Published: December 29, 2003
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Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Music: News
Writer: Crushkill
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#1 — December 29, 2003 @ 15:30PM — Eric Olsen

Classic! though ravers are hardly the only musical subgroup that is digging the drugs.

#2 — February 11, 2006 @ 12:52PM — Gage Meservia

Your dumb ravers rule!

#3 — March 5, 2008 @ 14:56PM — Bassline

wow this editorial is as misinformed as it is close minded and stereotypical. i am a raver. and i have done more than my fair share of drugs.....i've also graduated college, own my own business, and run a successful sound/production company... i'm a DJ and my brain is firing on ALL cylinders. maybe you should know what you're talking about before you go bashing ravers.

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