I'm not a Christian. You would perhaps find it odd then that the facets I've most enjoyed of the occasional Christmases past are Anglican midnight Masses. Even secularly, they are gorgeous spectacles. But I'm not a Christian. Not in the way most practicing — even merely believing — Christians would allow me; most would call me heathen, a few would avow that in a past life I had wings, then I didn't have wings and my name began with "L". Suffice to say I'm not in line with the spooky, paranormal aspect of Christmas. And I'm not referring to the tired argument of Christ's birth occurring sometime not around 25th December, and also a few years prior to or after the traditional year of the Nativity. Bah, what's a little timeline shift in a chronicle spanning 2,000 years? As for me, however, I'm talking about the whole shebang, all the trappings of the religion itself: not a Christian.

All the same, every year, as is pretty much the greater American way, I endure Yuletide events — seem to go on and on beginning sometime round the last week of August. And truthfully I've had a miserable time of it. We have four or five families — depending on diplomatic relations, you know — to attend to; scheduling conflicts abound, and it's typically the other party who has all the schedules and I the conflicting. I've had miserable Christmases for about the last 37 years, and I'm only 35: that should put you more in less in the frame of the matter.

But by God — of course, that is if I believed in God with a capital "G"; but that's another philosophation for another day — not this year! Any society, be it large or small, tranquil or contentious, rich, poor or in between, needs some slice out of the calendar to pointedly ignore the shitstorms, privations, starvation, taxation, prosecutions and other woeful meddling bothers of life on this planet, a world that some have noted is only truly beautiful when seen from space. And in the tradition of America, Christmas might as well be it for this country, whether or not you believe. I for one intend to put aside my cursed attitude and humbug ridicule this one year and have some fun with it. Although I do reserve the right to reassess next year.