While driving home last evening, I heard an interview on the radio between two geese. I KNOW. I thought so, too. But it was riveting, so I transcribed it for you.

[Begin transcript]

Goose: Welcome, Gander. And thank you for joining me this evening.

Gander: You're welcome, Goose. Glad to be here.

Goose: I'd like to start by asking you about the recent rulings that have gone against you. It seems that you've been publicly and judicially spanked, Gander.

Gander: Well, Goose, I'd prefer you didn't use the spanking imagery, but yes, you could say I've been rebuked by a judge and some regulatory folks.

Goose: What happened, Gander?

Gander: Well, Goose, I'm a law and order kind of guy, you know. In fact, I'm our nation's top law enforcement official. There's nothing I take more seriously than the full prosecution of people who break the rule of law.

Goose: I love a man in uniform, Gander.

Gander: Goose, keep your wings to yourself and your eyes focused up here, sweetie. Besides, I wear a suit and tie, not a uniform. Now, as I was saying, as the nation's top law enforcement official, I have taken it upon myself to demand that all federal prosecutors file the most serious charges possible in every case, rather than wimp out with plea bargains.

Goose: That's some seriously tough love, Gander.

Gander: Americans are like children, Goose. They need to be watched at all times and punished harshly for their misdeeds. They don't know it, but they need a lot of rules and even more retribution. It gives them comfort.

Goose: That's news to me, Gander. But whatever. So what's up with the people coming down on you?

Gander: Well, two things happened recently. First, I was sort of indirectly fined for supposedly mishandling campaign funds. During my Senate campaign in 2000, we had a little mix-up with a small amount of contribution money and some mailing lists.

Goose: How much money?

Gander: Just $110,000. Chump change, really. But too much got donated or spent or moved from one place or another or SOMEthing. Man, all those campaign finance laws are ridiculous.

Goose: Perhaps they are. But isn't a law a law? Shouldn't all laws be obeyed? Should we be able to treat our laws as a Chinese menu, choosing to follow only the ones we like or agree with?

Gander: Slow down, Goose. Dang, you ask a lot of questions. Of course American citizens must obey all laws. Nobody proved I broke a law, but my campaign committees did violate a campaign finance law. But this is one of those tricky finance things. You'll have to speak with my campaign manager and accountant about the money. I'm the idea guy, not the money guy.