When it comes to shit on the toilet seat, I tend not to trust my cleaning skills. Many times I have gone to a different toilet or just skipped a crap because of this. There are also instances where the inside of the toilet has poop smears. I have actually tried to pee them away before, although, again, I might just be creating poop spray in the process. Some smears are of such a solid consistency that they still cling after several flushes. Just keep on flushing—nothing is more disgusting than pooping onto someone else’s crap (I don’t know how I am able to tolerate outhouses).

I wonder then if this is a psychological flaw in me. Am I denying my own animal nature? Is the cleaning of toilets some ceremonious bon voyage to my artful craps and pisses? It might be just a way of paying it forward and making somebody else’s day (or at least preventing it from becoming a crappy one). Lastly, I might be showing reverence to the toilet gods, the creators of the almighty Ferguson, the Stradivari of toilets.

For more on toilet culture see this site. Toilet points? Lack of toilet hygiene leads to "continuous degradations to the body and soul?" This sounds like a world in which I would thrive.

Please see my blog, Dirtgrain.