Blogcritics: Comments on A Day in the Life of That Moron at Taco Bell

Comment by Chris Arabia

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 19:39:28 EST

Yeah, just ask Uncle Jemimah, or Mr. Butterworth, Aunt Ben or Mrs. Boyardee. They will tell you. I laughed at this. Well done, CL. I had never really thought of it this way, although I used to have a riff somewhere about Uncle Ben and Mrs. Butterworth. Mr. Fields must be a fat bastard by now.

Comment by Joe

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 17:48:37 EST

Not to muddy the waters, but whether your apples are from Pennsylvania or Washington state can make a big difference.

Comment by BRICKLAYER

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 17:29:14 EST

Nyx, my friend, you may have me there on the Fuji. Mrs. Bricklayer also prefers the Granny Smith, but she is admittedly no real apple fan, and therefore, not qualified to chime in uninvitedly, before she goes back to watching Touched by an Angel, munching soy nuts and spilling them between the couch cushions. Still, I prefer the Rome. But to each their own apple.

Comment by Nyx

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 16:09:44 EST

5.Make yourself a sandwich for lunch tomorrow by using the above items. Not enough to feed a real man like yourself, tubby? Add some carrot sticks. Throw in an apple too (I recommend Red Rome, Wine Sap, or Gala, but Red Delicious is a can�'t miss choice this time of year also) So, so, wrong. Fuji apples are the best. Gala is just a pale imitation. I also like the tartness of a Granny Smith, but most people think they are too sour.

Comment by Craig Lyndall

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 13:06:04 EST

Yeah, just ask Uncle Jemimah, or Mr. Butterworth, Aunt Ben or Mrs. Boyardee. They will tell you.

Comment by Eric Olsen

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 11:00:21 EST

Bricky, only a fool would argue with your sensible prescription for a healthier and more economically efficient existence, but your scenario leaves out one enormous factor that often trumps all others: food is always better when you don't have to make it yourself.

Comment by Dew

Tue, 2 Dec 2003 10:45:34 EST

HEY!! #29 WATCH THE GOLDEN GIRLS SARCASM PLEASE!!! They are fun and fiesty with something of a Grandmother-ish charm. Unless of course you were encouraging the unique assets the Golden Girls offer, in which case, continue! Tom may I say we share the same taste (literally) when it comes to thou Chik-eth Fil-a-eth. I do think Bricklayer has a point though about eating healthier and actually preparing food yourself, although, especially with people my age, their is a need for instant gratification. Unfortunately that rules out the good ole turkey-wich. If I am already out and down the street from the border its much easier to run for it (hehe).

Comment by Tom Johnson

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 15:04:25 EST

2.Buy yourself some Healthy Choice turkey breast (if you�'re a vegan, I recommend anything by Boca or Morningstar for great meat substitutes) Morningstar Farm's Chik Nuggets and Chik Patties are better than the "real" chicken deals from most fast-food restaurants, except for the almighty Chick-fil-a, whose chicken items are the glory of God in food-form. "Eat these nuggets, for they are my body; drink this soda, for it is my blood."

Comment by Craig Lyndall

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 15:02:05 EST

I do like the part about making change. Very funny. Various clerks look at me funny all the time when I do stuff like this. Who wouldn't rather carry a dollar bill, a nickel and two pennies rather than a pocket full of change?

Comment by BRICKLAYER

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 14:50:44 EST

Message to Johnny Consumer: You want to stuff your already engorged cheeks with 2 burritos, an oil drum of soda, and a hard taco all for $2.00? That's your business, and your body. You want to patronize "food" establishments that shamefully exploit the aged, and disabled, in the name of equal opportunity employment, and diversity? Those are your morals, pal. But just in case you didn't know, here's a little tip, so as you can avoid those danged roustabout teen zombies on your next lunch break: 1.Go to grocery store 2.Buy yourself some Healthy Choice turkey breast (if you're a vegan, I recommend anything by Boca or Morningstar for great meat substitutes) 3.Also pick up a loaf of whole grain bread, a nice juicy tomato, and the lettuce variety of choice 4.Go home 5.Make yourself a sandwich for lunch tomorrow by using the above items. Not enough to feed a real man like yourself, tubby? Add some carrot sticks. Throw in an apple too (I recommend Red Rome, Wine Sap, or Gala, but Red Delicious is a can't miss choice this time of year also) 6.Put the implements of nutrition in a bag, and place the bag in your fridge. 7.Proceed to the couch in time to catch Scarborough Country, Judge Judy, and tonight's re-run of Golden Girls 8.Wake up in morning, remove lunch bag from fridge and take it to work with you. 9.Arrive at work, place lunch bag in fridge at work 10.When your stomach starts to grumble, remove lunch bag from fridge, remove food from bag, and nosh away. 11.At the end of your difficult work week, use money you saved to go to the used CD store after work, and purchase a copy of Hatebreed's "Satisfaction is the Death of Desire" 12.Bang Head 13.Enjoy better health, and a clearer complexion 14.Feel good about sticking it to the man, and snubbing your nose at the military industrial food complex while simultaneously feeling horrible about the evil exploitation and harm done by the heinous meat packing industry-If the guilt of the turkey breast is too much for your psyche, may I recommend a falafel, or PB&J? They are yummy, and quite animal friendly! 15. Pass on your new found wisdom to friends, co-workers, and loved ones.

Comment by queenkv

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 14:16:54 EST

If you thought this ditty on Taco Bell was funny....check out this SF resident's blog on working at the Golden Arches... " 'Welcome to McDonald's; may I please take your order?' 'I'll have the bacon McGriddle. Can you put pickles on it?' (entering McGriddle) 'Perhaps, maam. We are shifting from breakfast to lunch, so there's a chance that right at this very moment we can do that.'"

Comment by BRICKLAYER

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 14:12:23 EST

Bravo, Nyx, bravo!

Comment by Nyx

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 13:28:07 EST

No, he's Iggy.

Comment by Mac Diva

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 13:12:15 EST

That was a cold analysis, Brick.

Comment by BRICKLAYER

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:58:29 EST

Snobbery. Tired. Obvious. And unfunny, to boot.

Comment by Eric Olsen

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:56:53 EST

run for the border

Comment by ClubhouseCancer

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:54:55 EST

Is this Gray Davis' blog?

Comment by Ray

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:49:02 EST

Don't tell me, let me guess...yer the business man.