When I was in Grade 7/8 in Junior High School, everyone was into New Kids on The Block, Vanilla Ice, C&C Music Factory and of course, Milli Vanilli. I got called 'uncool' for coming into school with Megadeth, Metallica, Suicidal Tendencies shirts. I couldn't understand it. What the fuck were these people thinking?

It's funny when you look back and you can laugh and cut up these bands, but the majority of people out there really did like this stuff. Almost EVERY girl I know has an old school NKOTB shirt, still lurking somewhere in their closet, hidden from even their closest friends. And the more things change, the more they stay the same - Just LOOK at the garbage people are listening to now. And I bet you in 10-20 years, they'll deny liking all this modern day garbage like Britney Spears, Puff Daddy, NSYNC, Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, 50 Cent, or whoever else people are into nowadays? (I don't even keep track.)

The advantageous part of the Worst music ever conceived and released, is it is absolute PPPERFECT fare for destroying in a digital hardcore style remix onslaught. And that is exactly what Canadian hardcore tag team Atari Bizkit (aka DJ Skeeter, Sounds of Horror, and other projects) and Czechcock have done, farting out a credit card shaped CD-R paying tribute to this one of the Milli Vanilli clowns, who did the right thing and offed himself in 1998 (Again, long after it became cool to diss them, even though you all listened to them and loved it when it came out, just admit it.)

Atari Bizkit is up first with two tracks, teasing with an dialogue intro of "Blame it On The Rain" between Mr. Rob and one of his flyh girhls before sending off into blitzing splatter breaks with that 1980's cheese ass style keyboard plinking indifferently in the back.

The next track is a sparkling scrapely venture into a glimmering tunnel of Milli trash waves as gristle poison the minds of all the sheep of yesteryear. Czechcock next on "Girl You Know It's Noise", quickly attacks and then defeats a horde of 3 Millis, critically hitting for 745 damage points, gaining 32 experience points at 8 pieces of gold and acquiring a mystic lock of Milli Vanilli dreadlocks.

Czechcock relative Crushkill ends this affair a low pitched vocal farewell eulogizing the MV legacy, cutting off abruptly, like the fortunate suicide of Mr. Pilatus.

You could say this CDr sucks, but if you put it besides ALL the music in the 80s, 90's and hell 2000's that is like this, it would seem like godamned paradise, even temporary paradise for 5 minutes, to escape from a world of retards, past present and future that buy this crap and then give us digipunks remixing source material years later to destroy and decimate.

By Jason Smith

Heres My Card Records
Intellectos Magazine