Vegetarians, Look Away

Written by Eric Olsen
Published November 27, 2003

This guy has his 2-year-old waving the scepter of life and death over turkeys:

    'I want to eat that one, Daddy!" These may not be the words every father dreams of hearing from his 2-year-old daughter as she points to a live animal - but on the eve of Thanksgiving, they were definitely a step in the right direction.

    ....I didn't know what to expect when I brought her to Hemlock Hill Farm in upstate Cortlandt Manor to pick out a live turkey for our holiday meal.

    "Remember, sweetie," I told her, "we're going to make friends with a turkey and then we're going to eat it."

    ....Teaching her that we eat turkeys didn't turn out to be that difficult. Not to sound specie-ist, but turkeys are ugly, with their pale pink necks, horn-like knobs between their eyes, ostrich-like heads and pre-historic gait.

    And they all look alike, so it's difficult, even for a 2-year-old, to get attached to any one bird.

    "So, sweetheart, which one should we eat?" I asked her. She looked over the flock before pointing to a particularly aggressive bird that stared her down meanly: "I want to eat that one!"

    For the record, I didn't bring my daughter into the slaughterhouse, where our bird was electrocuted, killed, relieved of its blood, tossed into scalding hot water, spun in a de-feathering machine, gutted and cleaned.

    But I did let her help carry the dead bird out to the car and assist me when I cooked it later.

    And she didn't need any prompting after she finished her plate: "I want more turkey!" [NY Post]

That'll teach that damn bird to give kids the evil eye.

I have nothing against turkeys, but I wish we still ate goose for holiday meals. I hate geese: they are mean, agressive, they crap all over our park. Back in California 15 years ago, a huge goose at the park we went to out there literally attacked my then 4-year-old daughter, scared the hell out of her, knocked her down, and I took great pleasure in kicking that fat, vile sack of venom for a field goal. Some animals are just begging to be eaten: it's not all pupppies and bunnies out there.

Career media professional Eric Olsen is honored to be the founder and publisher of Blogcritics.org, which, quite frankly, rules - as do his wife and four children.
Keep reading for information and comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own!
Vegetarians, Look Away
Published: November 27, 2003
Type:
Section: Culture
Writer: Eric Olsen
Eric Olsen's BC Writer page
Eric Olsen's personal site
Spread the Word
Like this article?
Email this
Submit to del.icio.us Save to del.icio.us
RSS Feeds
All RSS Feeds (240+)
Comments on this article
BC articles by Eric Olsen
All Culture Articles
Eric Olsen's personal weblog
All BC articles
All BC Comments

Comments

#1 — November 27, 2003 @ 17:55PM — cjones

I think we should change our national Thanksgiving meal into Peking Duck instead of Turkey, Tamarind Chutney instead of Cranberry Sauce, Stuffed Shells instead of Macaroni and Cheese, Broccoli Rabe instead of Greens or whatever the hell else people cook on T-Day. For dessert we should have Cinnabons hot out the oven with extra cream instead of some stale ass Sweet Potato pie. Who cares what the Native Americans ate. I want what I want! Happy Thanksgiving Eric!

#2 — November 27, 2003 @ 20:31PM — Eric Olsen

Thanks CJ, same to you! I am very full.

#3 — November 2, 2006 @ 15:37PM — Nancy

Well go to it, then, CJ; and you, too, Eric. Thanksgiving is eating whatever you feel thankful for, I would say. Personally, I hate turkey. Thanksgiving for me was always a surfeit of mashed potatoes, gravy, 3 kinds of stuffing, winter squash, summer squash, creamed onions, spinach souffle, and everything else I could think of. Forget the meat, I went wild on the veggies & desserts! And was very thankful.

Want comments emailed to you? No spam, promise! Address:

Add your comment, speak your mind

(Or ping: http://blogcritics.org/mt/tb/10492)

Personal attacks are not allowed. Please read our comment policy.





Remember Name/URL?

Please preview your comment!

Fresh
Articles
Fresh
Comments