The Great visit of Mr Bush..

Written by Blog Bloke
Published November 17, 2003

With the advent of President Bush's visit to Great Britain I ran across this clever blog by the British Spin Doctor giving a typically British view on the festivities. It occurred to me that my fellow blogcritics would enjoy this article as much as I did. So here it is in its entirety (with permission from the author of course).

"What a to-do. George W. Bush, (who is, alert readers will gather, apparently the President of something called “the United States of America”) is coming to stay and the country is up in arms. Pundits are scribbling frantically across the country and your humble correspondent is never one to ignore trends that are sweeping the nation. I have hula-hooped, I have body-popped, I have shoe gazed. I am therefore admirably qualified to comment on the geo-political and domestic implications of Mr Bush’s trip to London.

The first thing to tell our American readers is that we are just as prejudiced about you as the French, though slightly less ideologically. In our minds, you are either movie stars, or fatso’s gorging hamburgers and fries. There is no middle ground. Sure, we might occasionally bump into a slim American, but they are watched with a kindly interest, as one would gaze at a laboratory hamster, to see whether they will start scoffing burgers or taking leads in west end musicals. There is no other foreseeable outcome.

This binary approach to the US citizen explains why Elvis is still the most popular American in British history. He was both a movie star and a burger-gurgler. He encapsulated all our beliefs about America in one XXL sized rhinestone jumpsuit.

So, you can now understand our confused reaction to your politicians. Sure, Presidents have all the appurtenances of a top flight movie star; the private jet, the blacked out limo, the burly guards, the diva attitude, but not to put too fine a point on it, they couldn’t gross a hundred million on opening weekend if their lives depended on it. So what to make of them?

President Clinton was welcomed with open arms. Here was a man who fit our stereotypes of the nice American. He was clever, but brash and definitely a burger guzzler. He looked like a fellow who enjoyed a KFC. He didn’t seem to cause too much trouble. He didn’t want us to go to war with Russia or Vietnam or any other country where men with bombs lurked. He seemed unlikely to unleash nuclear warheads at anyone. On top of all of this, he very generously opened his private life to the delectation of the Tabloids just when we’d got a bit bored of Charles and Diana.

President Bush had a tough act to follow and suffers from a few disadvantages of his own. First, he appears to be a Christian of the televangelist school. Nothing dismays an Englishman more than an openly declared love of God. This goes back to the 16th century, when after decades of religious persecution, with vicars constantly making with the stakes and the burnings, the torments and the heresies, the nation exhaled a big sigh of relief when Queen Elizabeth declared she did not want to make a window into men’s souls, or even if she did, she’d be jolly upset if there wasn’t a nice net curtain blocking the view. Ever since then, our attitude to religion has been governed by the ancient motto to be found in houses across Britain. "No salesmen, no canvassers, no circulars, no Hawkers".

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The Great visit of Mr Bush..
Published: November 17, 2003
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Section: Culture
Writer: Blog Bloke
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Comments

#1 — November 18, 2003 @ 17:54PM — BB [URL]

I must say I am surprised nobody has commented on this very well written post. Am I to conclude my fellow Americans are too thin-skinned to take a little ribbing from our Brit cousins? Say that isn't so!

#2 — November 18, 2003 @ 17:59PM — Eric Olsen

BB, you never know what will get comments. Sometimes the best-written, most thorough posts get the fewest - as in none - comments, and the shortest, most frivolous posts generate a storm. I just haven't caught up since losing all of yesterday to Britney and Madonna.

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