(Oops, I typed Maria when I should have typed Nancy. That’s a future movie.)

Patti the Brat screams and kicks the refrigerator. Nancy screams. Then takes a Valium.

Patti the Brat opens Nancy’s medicine cabinet. It’s full of prescription drugs. She takes down a bottle and steals some pills. Just say no, Patti, just say no.

Michael the Ungrateful got in a fight. Nancy screams at him. Tells him to go back to his mother and father…whoever they were. (Note: Michael was adopted.) Nancy needs another Valium.

Nancy tells Ronnie she screamed at the kids. She says she’s a monster. Your not a monster, he says, calling her Nancy-pants again. (Nancy-pants is not a very scary name for a monster.)

The soon to be divorced Maureen, age 24, shows up. (I know, I’m having trouble keeping up with all these dang Reagan kids too.)

Patti whispers to Ron that Nancy is getting rid of her and Mike and that Ron, Jr. is next. Little Ron’s eyes grow big. (Nancy-pants is gonna get ya boy!)

Nancy-Pants tells Maureen she’ll have to sleep on the floor. Maureen shrugs. She tells Maureen the soon to be divorcee to stay out of her dad’s campaign. Nancy notices a bruise on Maureen’s shoulder. Maureen the Passive.

Reagan’s opponent Gov. Pat Brown is in a commercial, talking to a classroom of kids: “I’m running against an actor, and you know who shot Lincoln, don’t you?” (No, Governor, they don’t. They went to school in California.)

Student protestors chant, “REAGANS’ A FASCIST!” They throw an orange at him and he catches it. (Bonzo used to throw fruit also, so he’s used to it.) “This thing isn’t ripe and neither are you,” he tells them. (They are stunned into silence, asking themselves, “What they hell does that mean?”)

Patti the Brat, age 14, is at boarding school when she hears her dad has been elected governor. “We’re all screwed,” she says. “Hitler’s just been elected governor,” says another girl.

Reagan is sworn in as governor at a midnight ceremony. Nancy-pant’s astrologer told her that the ceremony had to take place when Jupiter was rising, the same time as when Kings were crowned.

Ben Welden gives Michael the Ungrateful a new special job. “From now on,” says Welden, “you’re on Mommy Watch.” (It isn’t specified, but it can be assumed that Welden is the Secretary in Charge of Monster Watching for California.)