Jaunty judge cold busts out and gets ill in dismissing defamation suit against Eminem:

October 17, Judge Deborah Servitto issued a ruling dismissing a defamation lawsuit filed against rapper Eminem by former schoolmate D' Angelo Bailey, according to the Associated Press. In addition to the ruling, the judge included a 10-stanza rhyme as a footnote which read in part, "It is therefore this court's ultimate position, that Eminem is entitled to summary disposition."

In the $1 million lawsuit, which was filed in December of 2001, Bailey maintains that Eminem defamed him and damaged his career as an aspiring rapper when he depicted Bailey as a bully and his nemesis in junior high school. Bailey also asserts that the rapper did this in an attempt to gain credibility.

Judge Servitto disagreed, she explained in her opinion that Eminem's raps are not to be taken seriously, "[Eminem's lyrics are] stories no one would take as fact, they're an exaggeration of a childish act." [Launch]

"I was harassed daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey
An eighth grader who acted obnoxious, 'cause his father boxes
So every day he'd shove me into the lockers
And he had me in the position to beat me into submission
He banged my head against the urinal until he broke my nose
Soaked my clothes in blood, grabbed me, and choked my throat."

I assumed the defense would be the kid actually did these things, but I guess Marshall went with the "no one believes my crazy shit anyway" gambit.