Lap Of Luxury is a "reality" show much like any other, the illegitimate love child of The Real World and Survivor. Nine contestants are thrown into a house together and compete for reward and "immunity," then one is voted off each night until the last person remaining wins $100,000. There is one Lap Of Luxury twist: It's all fake. That twist makes it quite possibly the best television show ever.

There are cameras everywhere, and there are daily games, but eight of the nine contestants - and the host - are actors, playing parts according to a script. The winners and losers of each contest are predetermined and each contest is rigged. The nightly votes don't really matter, as the characters leave according to the script. The characters are all artificial creations: Gina ("The Schemer Who Schemes Too Much"), Kip ("The Flamboyant Gay Guy"), Earl ("The Veteran Who Learns To Show Emotions"), Dr. Pat ("The Quack Marriage Counselor Whose Third Marriage Just Failed"), The Hutch ("The Real World's Puck"), Ashleigh ("The Moon-Eyed Snob"), Brian ("The Buddy"), Molly ("The Christian Virgin"), and Ralph "The Smarmy Host" Garman.

Only one man, Matt Gould, isn't in on the joke that is The Joe Schmo Show.

Matt delivers pizzas since he dropped out of law school. He is - according to my wife - the nicest guy in America. (She says she prefers the "bad boy" type, like me.) He happens to be a really nice guy who quickly recognizes a woman described as a "hooker" as an actual porn star, but apparently nice guys watch porn, too.

You might be asking, "With everything scripted, what's the point?" But remember, only nine of the ten people on screen are in on the gag, and when Matt starts doing some unexpected things, the action gets a little crazy. When he does better-than-expected at an early contest, the producers have to change some answers on the fly to make him lose. One of the actors who memorized the answers and didn't notice the change then flubs things horribly. The whole show could have ended two hours after it began, but fortunately, Matt is the sort of guy who doesn't let the inconsistencies in life nag at his brain. When Matt chooses to lose a contest he was supposed to win, we see the producers via split screen as they gasp out loud and scramble to think of a way to recover. Some parts of the plot have been accelerated, like a love triangle that hit extra-high gear last night. Matt also sent one player to the hospital. When that happens we saw a split screen in which one of the other actors explains that he was just sure the actress demanding to be released from the sumo fat-suit would shout "I'm an actress, get me out of here!" She didn't, either because she had the presence of mind to stay in her role, or more likely because she was more concerned about her own health than going out of her way to ruin the show.