Emmy blow-by-blow

Written by Matt Moore
Published September 22, 2003
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9:45 pm - Why would anyone walk up to Henry Winkler and commiserate about John Ritter? Were they ever on anything together? Lovely contradiction, though. "Let's not remember John for his pratfalls and funny takes." Cue video of pratfalls and funny takes. Ends with a touching series of hugs and kisses, though.

9:49 pm - The video of all those not famous enough or not related to teevee enough for their own tribute video.

9:50 pm - Nell Carter and Buddy Hackett died? Why didn't someone tell me?

9:51 pm - Judd Clampett and David Brinkley, too! There truly is no God! Free will returns.

9:55 pm - Why is Lay's suddenly coming out with a Pringles rip-off? Fuck, I can't even try the little bastards, probably have two hundred carbs apiece.

9:56 pm - The woman from CSI is much hotter in person. I haven't seen any of these miniseries, but I really wanna see the winner, Steven Spielberg Presents Taken, ridiculous title not withstanding.

9:58 pm - Ok, if Frances Conroy doesn't win the world is an unjust place. Well, Edie Falco won, and that's second best. Terrible speech... all she does is ramble on about how great her work environment is. Glad no one played grab-ass, Edie.

10:01 pm - We're now officially over the scheduled running time. How surprising. I'm also shocked that Gandolfini one when it should have been Peter Krause, or, even more deserving, the guy that plays David Fisher. Course, he wasn't even nominated.

10:02 pm - Why'd Jimmy thank Malibu Barbie? That's pretty creepy, now I'll think of Mr. Smithers whenever I watch The Sopranos.

10:05 pm - Oh, so that's how Joe Millionaire II plans to fool the women this time. They recruited a bunch of Eurotrash.

10:07 pm - Ahhh, crikey, The Fucking West Wing won for best drama. How I hate this Sorkin creep. This show freaks me out, I always think about Christopher Walken having to assasinate Martin Sheen so he doesn't go on to be President and destroy the world.

10:10 pm - Please, please, Curb Your Enthusiasm. Jebus, America loves schlock, don't they. Every Loves Raymond is better than Fraiser, but only barely. Why does everyone, everyone including the caterers, get to go on stage for the award on this show? At the Oscars they barely let the producer on stage, and then they run him off the stage with music of increasing volume if he thanks anyone other than his wife. I think the winners on this show are allowed to bring all their ex-wives and assorted preferred prostitutes onstage with them.

Well, that's it for the 55th edition of the Emmys. Next year, please just let Conan host the fucker, ok?

See a complete list of winners here.

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Emmy blow-by-blow
Published: September 22, 2003
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Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Television
Writer: Matt Moore
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#1 — September 22, 2003 @ 12:56PM — Eric Olsen

Thanks Matt! I was really hoping we would have a reivew of it - I forgot all about it.

#2 — September 22, 2003 @ 13:26PM — Tom Johnson [URL]

I really, really hoped this year we'd see a little recognition for one of the funniest shows on TV, Malcom In The Middle. No, again, and as expected, Malcom gets snubbed. This show and Scrubs are about the only two comedies I really care about anymore. I loved Raymond up until last season, and with rumors they're going to go all "Mad About You" and throw marital problems and a possible divorce into the show, I don't see much reason to love it too much this season either. I don't even know why Frasier continues to be nominated. That show has sucked chum for years now, and definitely doesn't deserve a nomination for anything unless they start giving out awards for Sucking Chum. But I have to say that I was THRILLED to see The Amazing Race finally get some respect. It's the one bright light in the dull world of reality back-stabbing and bug-eating boredom. It's about time. Now if only people would watch the thing.

As for Door To Door, it's a wonderful, heart-warming story, and William H. Macy put his all into his character. A real surprise something this good was actually acknowledged.

And I agree - Conan as host next year, please! Or Ellen DeGeneres, as she did a fine job on her segment. But please, no more Gary Shandling. I know his calling card is his unsure of himself nervousness, but he really appeard to be having a very hard time last night.

#3 — September 22, 2003 @ 13:37PM — Eric Olsen

Rare for me to see a TV movie, but I actually saw "Door to Door" and it was pretty great. It was a bit of a hagiography, but Macy was willing to show the character's "dark" side to a certain extent: his stubbornness especially, which was important because his stubborness was also what made him successful. I loved the tragic but sweet Kathy Baker character.

#4 — September 22, 2003 @ 13:39PM — frost@work

That's funny... I only watched about 5 mins of it, yet after reading your blow-by-blow report I'm sure I didn't miss anything.

And yes, you NEED to watch 24 this year. It's stellar.

#5 — September 22, 2003 @ 13:45PM — Matt Moore [URL]

About Malcolm in the Middle... I was hoping that the woman that plays the mother would win. I don't watch the show much, but she's hilarious.

#6 — September 22, 2003 @ 14:37PM — Matt Moore [URL]

Oh, yea, and of all the reality shows the Amazing Race is by far the best. Glad it won.

#7 — September 22, 2003 @ 14:37PM — mars sanford [URL]

Henry Winkler and John Ritter were close friends. Those who actually knew this about John would have consoled Henry on their mutual loss.

#8 — September 22, 2003 @ 15:34PM — frost@work

oh, that "American Accountant Idol" (or whatever they called it) skit was mind-numbingly dull. I've seen funnier skits... well, just about anywhere.

#9 — September 22, 2003 @ 17:14PM — Jim Carruthers [URL]

For some dumb reason, I watched the Emmys for the first time ever.

What was really specail? The fact that as the awards got more important, the shorter the time got. High-larious. Since I hadn't watched most of the shows nominated (except for The Sopranos and Six Feet Under) and hated the West Wing last year (though Allison Janney is still my teevee girlfriend, or is that Allyson Hannigan?) and most of the series I see are from online, the winner is bittorrent.

It got to be like the credit scroll on the end of teevee shows. And if they are looking for a host, they couldn't do worse than Jon Stewart.

Bill Cosby was just wierd and nasty (what's with the shades?).

#10 — September 22, 2003 @ 17:17PM — Matt Moore [URL]

Huh, Stewart is my second choice for host next year.

#11 — September 22, 2003 @ 17:29PM — Eric Olsen

"they couldn't do worse than Stewart," meaning he sucks the most infected digit of all? Or "they could do worse," meaning he is not awful?

#12 — September 22, 2003 @ 18:44PM — Jim Carruthers [URL]

You know what I mean smartass. It's like I couldn't care less, and besides Jon Stewart is the anti-Emmy host, he's funny and he tells the teevee industry why they are full of shit. So, from their point of view, they couldn't do worse.

(Wow, what a rationalization for sloppy writing).

#13 — September 5, 2004 @ 05:32AM — Emily

Was just wondering if anybody there new
where a girl (me) in Australia could find any Jiminy Glick movies/DVDs/videos, if there are any in existence! Have only seen him a few times on pay TV, and wondering if Martin Short has realised how much $$ he could make from releasing Jiminy over here! Thankyou for your time,Emily.

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