You want a curse? %$&!*$!!!

Link via Boston Sports Media Watch.

Steve Solloway:

Did Lawyer Milloy drop a curse before he left town? The Red Sox have their curse. Why not the Patriots?

A picture is worth a thousand words (especially when I'm at the mic), so try to picture me convulsing with complete and unfettered disgust. Solloway has displayed all the innovative, trailblazing aplomb of a general at Verdun. Or the Somme deal. Somme, I tell you!

A "curse" without the Bambino is like the episodes of "Welcome Back, Kotter" without Kotter. Even the original is trite, too clever by its self-satisfied half, and evidence of a suspect grasp of reality--the curse or Kotter? Yes.

Leaving aside Solloway's embarassing troll for the Shank's literary crumbs, a much better curse analogy would have been the decision to Wally Pipp the arse of one Mr. Drew Bledsoe, franchise savior. We all know how that one worked out. Just ask Mike Martz.

The NFL requires tough decisions like the Milloy release. Let's not respond to every tough cut by boarding the Bullettrain to Panicville, okay?

By the way, how about the "Kotter" episode in which Gabe Kapler hits a two-out single to--oh--Gabe Kaplan convinces Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington to plan for a possible future without the NBA by challenging that self-same Buchanan High hoop star Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington to a game of one-on-one? Gabe drops a heartbreaker, 20-16, which raised numerous issues, among them: did they really think we were dumb enough to buy Kotter effectively hooping it up against Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington? Well, we were watching "Kotter."

This suicidal dash into the intersection of Memory Lane and WTF Street has been brought to you by the estate of Vinnie "Gimme Drugs" Barbarino.

(also appears at the Boston Sports Blog)

Thug Life on the Road
Manchester United 0:0 Arsenal 0

Arsenal's campaign of unabashed thuggery continued during its visit to Old Trafford. Yesterday the obligatory Gooners Red Card was shown to Patrick Vieira, prompting unfortunate but characteristic whining from Arse skipper Obscene Wanker.

To Arsenal's credit, they fended off United and brought home a point after a Ruud encounter with the crossbar on a late penlaty. By so doing, they stopped the InterMilan bleeding from midweek. The Highbury tossers remain a point in front of United atop the table that matters (as opposed to the actual table, in which Chelsea leads MU on GD).

But really now. What a bunch of disgraceful poops. Their mistreatment of Ruud after the final whistle was offensive even by the barely existent standards that Arsenal have set for themselves.

Prediction: Arsenal will continue to make a poor accounting in Europe until the club undergoes a spiritual enema.

Schucky! Mind that side!

Elsewhere:
Leeds sucks. And Robinson did a full waltz forward before the penalty strike.

I left Wolves off my relegation zone prediction because I figured all the experts picking Wolves was an indicator. Indeed it was an indicator--of how much Wolves suck!

By the way, I purposely gave Arsenal dual zeros, one to mark their blank sheet and one to numerically scale their antics.